Thursday, December 31, 2009

For those of you keeping score...

Baby K - 1, Mommy - 0.

Last night I made a few adjustments to Baby K's schedule. We had dinner at 6:15, where I made him sit in his high chair for 30 minutes eating/playing. He ate 1/2 carton of yogurt, 4 Ritz crackers, and 1/3 of a jar of stage 3 greenbeans (which were really mushy--I had said earlier that he wouldn't eat stage 3 foods, but I finally found something he likes which is Beechnuts Green Beans and Potatoes "Homestyle").

After dinner, he was allowed to play for 20 minutes or so while I cleaned things up and got his bath ready. I bathed him, rubbed him down with lotion, and let him play for a little while longer. By this time it is about 7:45, so I gave him a snack of 1/2 a cereal bar and a few more crackers. At 8:15 he was given a bottle and went right to sleep.

We put him in his crib at 8:25.

He woke up at 8:45, where I made him cry for 5 minutes. I rocked him back to sleep.

He woke up at 9:50, where I made him cry for 6 minutes. K went up to change his diaper and rock him back to sleep.

He woke up at 1:15, where I made him cry for 7 minutes and I finally caved and went to change him and give him 8 oz of formula and .8 tylenol. (I'm a sucker, I know...but I am quite certain he would have stood there and cried all night had I let him, and it wasn't just a cry...he was MAD!!!!)

He woke up at 4:50, where I made him cry himself back to sleep. It took about 5-6 minutes.

He woke up at 5:35, where I made him cry for 5 minutes, then I gave him 8 oz of formula, changed his bottom, and gave him more tylenol.

I know his gums are hurting because he finally has a tooth coming in up top. It has broken through the gum and the tooth beside of it isn't far behind. I feel bad about giving him tylenol because I feel like I am medicating him to sleep--because I need him to sleep--but really, it's for his gums, I swear.

Tonight my mom is keeping him so K and I can ring in 2010! I'm sure he'll sleep like an angle for her; he always does. May 2010 bring us restful nights!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Follow Up

I posted this yesterday. Thank you to all of you who left me comments letting me know I wasn't alone in this endevor or advice as to what has worked for your child.

I was quick to say that I felt as if Baby K were waking out of habit, but now, I'm not so sure. Last night, here is what happened:

-we put him to bed at 8:30
-he woke up at 9:15 where I rocked him back to sleep
-he woke up at 11:00 where I changed him and rocked him back to sleep
-he woke up at 1:00 when he needed changing and he took 8 oz of formula
-and lastly, he woke up at 4:45 when he needed changing again and he took another 8 oz of formula

So, do you think he's waking because he's hungry? To be fair, he is also teething, so that could be some of it?!? The kid eats like a bird. He also has some texture issues so he will not eat many foods. We have introduced some table foods that he seems to tolerate well as long as they are pure mush. Mel mentioned stage 3 foods--yeah, he will NOT eat them. Well, he'll eat the fruit, but he won't eat the healthy stuff. It makes him gag. Once he gags, he's finished. You also mentioned the Baby Wise series (which was also recommended to me by a real life friend who swears by its success). I didn't research it at all, so I had no idea it was controversial. I have the series on the way to my mailbox, so we'll wait and see what happens with that.

Amanda you said your boys like the room temp to be 73. This is what our house temp is set to, but his room is upstairs so it tends to be warmer on that level. I have tried dressing him warmer and dressing him cooler. We have a small space heater, so I may just try moving it to his room to see if it helps.

My sister, who is a former pediatric RN, has convinced me to start transitioning him to whole milk to see if that helps. It's suppose to be more filling. She thinks it may help to subside the hunger (if that is indeed the problem). I'm also going to take Janna's advice and have a late night snack of finger foods, fruit, or a cereal bar.

I really appreciate you all brain storming and sharing ideas with me.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Christmas Day 2009

Is Santa coming???

Baby K wasn't really sure what to do with all of these gifts Santa brought him. Isn't this just the best gift?

Spending time with my cousins. Notice he has a cell phone in each hand. He loved, loved, loved the Benny Hill theme song ringer on my cousin Scott's phone. Just look at his face....priceless. Mommy is more like, "Benny who?"

I think I'll go for a ride on my new dump truck...

Nah, maybe not!

I'll let Daddy play with it instead!

He finally saw the wagon....Bingo!

Seeking advice

I'll skip the chit chat and just get strait to the point: HOW ON EARTH DO YOU GET YOUR CHILD TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT?????

Baby K is soon-to-be eleven months old, and he continues to wake multiple times through out the night. We did go through a phase where he only got up once, but that has long since been replaced by at least 3 or 4 wake-ups. Now, I mostly think it's out of habit. Things I have tried:

-putting cereal in his last bottle
-putting oatmeal in his last bottle
-using calming baby bath/lotion
-keeping him up later

I am at the point where I really need to let him cry it out, but I'll confess: it breaks my heart to hear him cry, especially between babbles of ma-ma and da-da. Heartbreaking! And, when he is physically standing up in his crib while he is crying with his eyes closed, you can't help but give in. Sometimes he needs to be changed. Sometimes he wants another bottle. And, sometimes he just wants to be rocked for all of 5 minutes and he drifts back off to sleep.

Christmas was exhausting. I will have pics up soon. I'm also very excited (yet, sad) that I had to order Baby K's first birthday party invitations. February will be here before I know it, so I'm trying to get that under control.

Hope you all had a wonderful, restful holiday!

What do I do? What do you do? What works for your family?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Twas the Night Before Christmas...

Two years ago, I wrote this on Christmas Eve.

I was at a breaking point in my life. I was stuck in a valley. My patience had been long gone; my hope had been stretched too thin. I think I felt more defeated than I've ever felt in my entire life.

Then, I did something which I thought I would have never done. I left the doctor's office I had been a patient of for 10ish years and sought a second opinion. (Well, it would actually be a third if you include the IVF doctors who told me that the only way I would ever have kids is to use donor eggs.) I didn't know anything about this new doctor. I literally picked him out of the phone book and scheduled an appt. That is one of the best decisions I have made in my entire life. It was Dr. R who gave me the hope I had lost. With that hope, I felt all the stress and pressure (and shame) of being "infertile" lifted off of my shoulders. I began to enjoy life again. I enjoyed my husband more. I enjoyed our time together. It was only then that God chose to finally answer our prayers. And, it wasn't immediately that he answered. After changing doctors, we still waited for six months or so, but finally, for whatever reason, after 5 years of tears, heartache, emptiness, shame, and many, many prayers He gave us our son.

I use to hate the Christmas season before Baby K was conceived. It is the most difficult time of year for those who are waiting, and I believe despite how selfish that may sound that God gets that. He knows our hearts; He knows our hurt. This year I get to celebrate the season without having all the emotions to cloud the reason for the season. I don't say that as "Look at me! Look at me! I have a baby this year." I say that as "My son is a wonderful gift, yes, but God gave me a better gift. He gave me His love, His forgiveness, His blood for my salvation. He gave me back Christmas spirit and the desire to celebrate His birth."

I also want to say to those of you who are still waiting: I will be covering you in prayers this weekend. I hope that God pours out his love, peace, and blessings upon you and your family. I pray for Him to give you your every hearts desire. And I pray that He will lead you to a doctor who will give you back the hope that some other doctor may have stolen from you. I pray that next year, each and every one of you will know the joy from being a parent. I pray for patience as you wait and for God to remove any shame you may be feeling--because you were wonderfully made, no matter how broken you may feel right now.

Merry Christmas sweet friends! I love you all!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Prayer Request...

My sweet bloggy friend Jen is feeling down today. Will you all hop over and give her some love and support? We've all been where she is today; some of us are still there; some of us are going back there. That's why I love blogging--people come out of nowhere to pray for you and give you the encouragement that you so long to hear.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Eight Maids a milking...

It is eight days until Christmas. EIGHT DAYS! Fortunately, I am finished with the Christmas shopping mayhem, but I have tons and tons of gifts to wrap. I.hate.wrapping.presents. Have I ever told you that I am a little Obsessive Compulsive? Okay, a lot. I strive to be a perfectionist (which is both a blessing and a curse). It's a blessing because I always try my best, but it's also a curse because I am never quite satisfied with my results. I'm not a great wrapper, and it drives me crazy. I want the paper edges folded perfectly; I want the bows fluffy. Sounds easy enough, huh?

We took Baby K to see Santa last night. I think he left traumatized. I assumed this was the reaction he would have, and I even felt a little guilty after it was over, but he had to see Santa on his first Christmas, right?

Or, we could blame his crying on the fact that he has another ear infection. (Actually, that sounds good, so we'll just go with the ears. Oh, just humor me!) He's had tubes for seven weeks now, and he has had ear infections the entire time. I thought tubes were suppose to fix that problem, but what on earth was I thinking?

I am officially out of school until Jan 6. I have really enjoyed the past few nights giving my undivided attention to my family. I'm still reading (which surprises even me). Do you have a good suggestion for me? What's your favorite book, and who is its author? It may just end up as my next review over here.

Did I mention that Christmas is only eight days away?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Christmas Preview...

Here is our tree. We cheated this year, as if you can't already tell, and we put it up on the coffee table (out of Baby K's reach).

But just so you know, he doesn't seem to mind.

And, just to be certain, we let him open his first Christmas gift.

He didn't care what was in it at first. He wanted to eat the bow!

Daddy's Little Helper

Baby K in Action:

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I need your input...

I'm giving my final presentation next Monday, Dec. 14 on "What is Worth Knowing?" I selected this topic for my term paper in my Foundations of Education class because I could relate to it...I can't count the times that I have been sitting in a desk, gazing at the teacher, wondering, "Why on earth am I learning this?" And, I need your help Blogland...

While I give my presentation, I would like to build a powerpoint presentation with real data to be playing in the background of my presentation. I need your input to add to the answers I have already collected.

It's easy:

When you think back to your experience as a student, what was worth learning? What do you use in your everyday life? What do you wish you had spent more class time studying? (For example, some of my current responses include: grammar, spelling, typing, basic math skills, etc.)

Also, what was NOT worth knowing? What have you never used? It can even be something you hated, as long as you haven't found this information to be relevant. (Some of the current answers I have received include: periodic table, memorizing state capital/birds/flowers, algebra, etc.)

Try to be creative and specific. I received (what I thought was) a funny answer: My friend said she has never, even until this day, had the need to dissect a frog or grow fruit flies in a jar... Maybe we were the only students who had to do that--we are from NC, but it's SO true! So, why on earth did we learn that?

Thank you so much for your help!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Remember this post?

I am so aggravated. *Insert frustration here* I have been trying to delete my profile from My.Space for over 3 weeks now. The site continues to tell me I will receive an email to finalize my request, but the email never comes! Grrr...guess it's not's Theirs.

Moving on...

I took my final for my statistic's class last night. I have never been so happy to finish a class in my entire life (and when you stop to think about all the classes I've taken--and there have been tons---that's pretty amazing!) I have a presentation tonight for my Adolescent literature class and that course will be over as well. On the other hand, I have really enjoyed this class. I must say, I didn't realize how much I enjoyed reading!?! There was a point at the beginning of the semester when I was completely defeated once I found out I had to read 15 novels by the end of the semester; however, most of them were really, really good. I will even go as far as to say, I have somewhat been inspired. It has led me to create a new blog if any of you are looking for good reads over Christmas vacation. As you can tell, I decided to begin blogging late into the semester, so there are only 2 reviews so far. But, it is slowly coming together, and I hope it keeps me reading.

Wow, books have really changed from when I was a kid!! Some of these books should never, ever be used in the classroom because of content or language. It's sad that many of them have really great life lessons in them, but because of the content/language students' aren't exposed to them. Instead we shove the classics down kids throats and hope it turns them on to reading. So, if you have children in school, especially upper middle grades or high school, I really encourage you to research novels that your children are reading.

The only class I will have left is my Foundations of Education course (this is the class my teacher called me an overachiever in). This semester has been so stressful. Remind me to never commit to 9 credit hours EVER again.

That's about all that is going on my way! I hope you have a great week!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Nov 29

For any of you who read this post, you may be interested in this update also. Just amazing! And Exciting! And Unbelievable! And, well, you get the point.

I am on my next to last day of finding something to be thankful for. It has been eye opening for me, even when it was difficult to find something of great importance to appreciate. Of course, I am thankful for small things which make my life a little less hectic. I have a love/hate relationship with my alarm clock, but have found it to be a necessary evil; I love hot chocolate when it's chilly outside; I am thankful for spell check (since I am a t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e speller!!!); I can't live without my get the idea, right?

So, I saved one of the most important things until next to last: You, my blogging friends. Blogging was introduced to me impromptu when I felt like my life was spiraling out of control. I had been trying for a baby for over 3 years, and it was my blogging community who came out of the wood work to hold my hand-as virtual as it may have been--while I cried and poured my heart out to people who completely understood all I was going through...the emptiness, the doctor appts, the hormones! You became my allies who marched the front lines of this war on infertility with me. You prayed for me, and I prayed for you. And, now, we share a bond that is as strong as any other.

I am so thankful for your comments and encouragement. I am so thankful for your posts. I am so thankful that I chose to continue blogging on this side of the pain. You and each of your journeys are important to me. I can't really express in words how truly thankful I am to be here blogging, and that through out the entire web, you and I connected by chance (or a google search).

Thank you for everything blogging friends. You are certainly one of my many blessings to be thankful for.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Nov 28

I've been so busy that I haven't had a chance to post the past few days. So, you get three things today:

I am thankful I got to see an old/new friend today at Sams! Beth, you were seriously the highlight of my shopping trip. I hope we meet up again for lunch sometime soon.

I am thankful for birthday parties. Today, one of my friends had a birthday party for her son. He turned one! It won't be long until I will be planning Baby K's first birthday party, and I hope our party turns out as fabulous as yours did for Baby F.

I am thankful to be completely finished Christmas shopping for Baby K. Now, I have all of my other nephews and niece to buy for and I am DONE!!!! My goal: Be finished by Dec 10. Don't know if it will happen, but I'm going to try.

I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving with your families!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Nov 25

Today, I am thankful I still have 30 days (EEEEKKKK!!!!) to shop for Christmas! Also, have you heard about this? This little girl is on a mission to raise $20,000 by Thanksgiving to adopt a child with Downsyndrome. She has already raised over $11,500 in a week! If you read the past few days posts on their website, you will see a remarkable example of "child-like" faith. She has no doubt that God will provide the $ to adopt this child. What a wonderful Thanksgiving blessing that would be! I am truly moved by this little girl's passion. She could change the world all by herself! Help spread the word! How exciting! I can't wait to see what happens!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Nov 24

I am thankful today that given the local economy and the fact that my employer cut out raises this year, we still got a Christmas bonus! Thank you Lord!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Nov. 23

Tonight, I'll keep it short and sweet (and to the point):

I am thankful that I will NEVER, EVER be the kind of teacher that I have for my class tonight. He is a teacher who deliberately embarrasses students for being "over-achievers" or a teacher who picks on quiet classmates. I really pray that I will be an encouragement to my students to always give 110% on assignments. I am thankful that I recognize that as educators, it's our own fault that students sometimes give half efforts or fail to participate in class discussions. I am thankful for the educators in my life who never made me feel the way I left class tonight...and the teachers who make me want to be the best teacher I can be.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Nov 22

Some of my classmates and I went to TN for the night to do some Christmas shopping. My goal was to have it all finished when I got home much for that. I was able to get some really cute clothes for Baby K. He's growing so fast! Other than that the only thing I bought were small gifts for his daycare teachers.

Since I missed yesterday you get two things I'm thankful for:

1. My home! It's good to get away sometimes, but it's also good to be home. It's so comforting to walk in the door and be surrounded by your "life" (even when it gets hectic!) I am very thankful I have a roof over my head and a warm place to lay my head down at night. And, my sweet husband--he makes my home a happy place to be. I missed him terribly last night!

2. I'm also thankful that tonight I get to go to bed early. My last big school assignment is completed, and I can breath a big sigh of relief. Whew! I almost thought this semester was impossible. Then, if it were (impossible), would I believe in Phil 4:13?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Nov 20

Tonight, I am thankful for movie night. Baby K is already in bed, and K and I are getting ready to watch a movie and stuff our face full of pizza. Tomorrow I will be going to TN with some of my classmates to spend the night and do some...make that ALL of my Christmas shopping, so I am thankful that Baby K decided to crash early so his daddy can have some of my attention too!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Nov 19

Wow, the month is over half over! Can you believe this time next week, we all will be stuffed full of turkey, dressing, and fixings (and gearing up for the biggest shopping day of the year)!!! I am so excited, I can hardly stand myself.

Today I am thankful for these movies:

I am looking forward to watching them Thanksgiving evening with my family!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Nov 18

I am thankful for a good prognosis at the doctor's office for my dad's hand. He is back at work. Yes, you read correctly. He is doing very well. He went back to the doctor on Monday, and received a good report. His middle finger is healing better than expected, but the doctor is now concerned with his thumb. His doctor told him he could return to work as soon as he felt up to it as long as he promised to take it easy. (We all know he is over doing it, but that's what he does. He works. He's worked his entire life to have something to show for all of his hard work. He doesn't know life any other way.) He has his first therapy session this morning. Thank you all for your prayers! Please keep them coming.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Nov 17

I am thankful for this group of people. Together we raised over $5,000 to find a cure for breast cancer. It was so cold the day of the walk, so I had to take Baby K home, but we were so honored to participate in honor of my Grandma who is a survivor. I love this group of people! They are some of my best friends and I pray that none of them are ever faced with breast cancer.

My niece sporting the cure ribbon on her cheek, while Baby K is wearing pink for the ladies!

I pray that it is because of one of our $1's that a cure is found in 2010!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Nov 16

I am thankful for this song. It has gotten me through so much, specifically infertility. I just love it. It reminds me, even in the worst of times, that the Lord deserves to be praised. Enjoy!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Nov 15

Today, I am thankful for Lisa, my fabulous sister-in-law. She has K's quirky sense of humor, so she is constantly making me laugh! She makes the absolute best chicken-and-dumplings in the South. Actually, her apple dumplings are pretty fantastic too. She is the absolute best!

*The expression on Baby K's face is priceless. My dad says he gets this pouty expression from me, but I think he's wrong.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Nov 14

I am thankful for my mom and dad. I have two of the best parents on Earth. I am really blessed to be a child of parents who are still married. Sadly, this is almost unheard of anymore. I can see how much they love each other.

I must tell you all too, that I am really thankful that my dad wasn't hurt worse than he was Friday night. I received a call around 8:30 from my mom telling me that my dad had an accident with a saw. As he was putting down hardwood flooring in their house, he cut his left had pretty bad. He had a 4.5 hour surgery last night where he lost his index finger, but the doctors are trying to save the others. We covet your prayers that his hand will heal quickly.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Nov 13

I received some really exciting news yesterday. Go over and congratulate The Whites who recently found out that they are expecting #2, due in June 2010. After a long battle with infertility, God surprised them with this wonderful news!

Also, I added an updated picture of Baby K over there ------------------>
He just turned 9 months old this week. He has 2 teeth, is crawling EVERYWHERE, is pulling up, saying Da-Da (and on occassion, "No No No."), waving bye-bye. He has stranger anxiety and can't stand for people he doesn't know to touch him. He still isn't sleeping through the night *sigh*, but the exhaustion is so worth it. I bought him this CD yesterday and it is so good. I love, love, love it!

This CD is packed full of Christmas songs about the birth of our Lord. (Which brings me to something else to be thankful for: that some companies still find it "politically correct" to have christian meaning behind the season. Praise God!)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Nov 12

Wow, I didn't realize how difficult this would be. I have so much to be thankful for, but when counting my blessings, I must include the smaller blessings in my life and some of that you wouldn't care to much to hear, I'm trying my best to give you the most important things.

Today, I am thankful for forgiveness. Without that, I wouldn't have the relationship I have with my family for acting a fool when I was in high school. Without it, I would have someone mad at me constantly with all of my imperfections. Without it, I would be mad at someone else constantly. Without it, I wouldn't be saved by God's AMAZING Grace!

I have to update this, because I have something else to be so thankful for today. Go over and congratulate Charne on the birth of her daughter! She has waited such a long time for this moment, and I couldn't be happier for her. God is so good!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Nov 11

Today, I am thankful for all of the Veterans serving worldwide to protect this wonderful country we call home. I also am thankful for the firemen/women, rescue workers, and police officers (even YOU, Mr. State Trooper, who gave me a speeding ticket yesterday.) I pray for all of your continued safety and for God to pour out blessing upon blessing on you and your families. Thank you for serving the people so that we feel safe.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Nov 10

Today I am thankful that the Lord cares for His scattered Sheep. As some may stray from the flock, He, Himself, goes out to care for and bring them back. He doesn't delegate this task to anyone else; He never gets overwhelmed or stressed out like we allow ourselves to be. Yet, He personally rescues each one, even his most unworthy servants. Isn't this amazing?

Monday, November 9, 2009

Being Thankful

This weekend, I attempted something I had never before tried: I cooked a turkey. Now, for some of you, this may not be a big deal, but for me this was HUGE. I admit that I don't enjoy cooking. I'm not very good at. I'm not confident at all in anything I make; I prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I just don't do it. But, alas, this weekend I faced my fears and cooked a Thanksgiving meal for K and I and our parents. To my surprise, it was really good. I may have to give cooking a shot.

Eating turkey, stuffing, and fixings put me into a thankful spirit. So, to copy my dear friend Deidre, I am going to try to post every day with something I am thankful for during the month of November. Since I am already 9 days behind, today you get an extra long list.

1. I am thankful for my amazing husband. He helps so much around the house and with Baby K. I am so lucky to have him as my husband and the father of my child. He is a very special person; I am deeply blessed to have him in my life.

2. I am thankful for my equally amazing son. I had to wait five years for him, but he is nothing short of being perfect. He has a smile that melts my heart. He's 9 months old tomorrow, and growing ever so fast, but I am so blessed to be his mommy. His only word is Da-da, but I know he loves me every time he gives me sweet baby kisses. (He rarely shares those with Da-da.)

3. I am thankful for having a job. In the county I live in, the unemployment rate is nearly 12%. My job drives me crazy at times and stresses me out. But so many people around me would love to have a job, even if it is one that they hate.

4. I am thankful for the bible study I am doing. I mentioned this last post, but it has been really great for me spiritually. I find myself looking forward to the next day's lesson. It has been very enlightening so far, and I hope to gain new insight upon completing it.

5. I am thankful for friends who encourage me during my imperfections. Thank you for always being there for me and praying for me. Thank you for being a strong support system for me. (You know who you are!)

6. I am thankful that school is almost over. Only 3 weeks to go. I will never again take 9 credit hours while working full time. This has been so draining on me personally and professionally. I love studying education and I can hardly wait until I am responsible for a handful of students. But, school has caused me to shift priorites and rely heavily on other people. I look forward to having time to breath again in the coming weeks.

7. I am thankful for my grandma who did something really special for K and me this weekend. She knew that our pocketbook has been strained with all of the doctor appts we have had lately and she helped us out by giving us some much needed $. That was so sweet of her. I felt so relieved I cried. I asked her why, and she said, "God just told her we needed it."

8. I am thankful that God always, always provides. Even when we don't deserve it, he pours out blessing upon blessing on us.

9. I am thankful for the sunshine the past few days. I'm in love with summer. I love basking in the sun and laying out by the pool. Winter/Fall has never been a favorite time of year for me because I don't like being cold. The past few days has been Spring-like. B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!! I know it won't last long, so I'm savoring every second right now.

Until tomorrow...hope you all find time to be thankful today! I love you all!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Social Networking Woes....2

Social Networking.

It so funny how addicting these sites can be. What was life like before you knew the status of 400 people who you haven't seen in +10 years? Have you ever stopped and wondered if the reason you stopped talking to them in the first place was because you weren't the friends you thought you were or you grew apart? Or, because as you got older, you changed, your values change, you become two totally different people as adults.


That is what social networking has done to my Christian life. I reconnected to all these people who couldn't have cared less what my walk with God looked like. And instead of joining me, I slowly joined them. Now, I must interject here that there have been some really good connections for me. People I once was really close to. It was fun to see how their life turned out and revive our friendships. But for the most part, it really hindered my relationship with God. My prayer life suffered; my quite times stopped; my attendance to church hit rock bottom.

I won't go into my much of my testimony. I will save that for another post. I will say that I am a suicide survivor. I overdosed on Tylenol when I was 17 years old which damaged my liver. So tell me folks---why on earth would I want to turn to alcohol now as I have "reconnected" with friends? I'm so foolish at times. I found myself in pictures on friends pages with drink in hand. I didn't even stop to think how I looked to the world, or what that may have done to my testimony. I just did it.

I am fighting back.

I found a bible my grandma gave me. It's called "Time with God: The New Testament for Busy People." It's on my desk at work, so that before I even begin my day I read the lesson. It has been so good to get back into God's word. I'm filling in the cracks, bit by bit with Scripture. (This has helped in more ways than social networking too. My job has been extremely stressful lately. Upper management has really cracked the whip and we have lost many of the freedoms we once had. So, I pray every morning for my workday, my co-workers, and other requests.)

I pray that God will continue to discipline me. I want to grow and prosper as a Christian. And, I want a life that reflects Him. I want to do something that matters with my life. I want to be surrounded by fellow Christians who have my best interest at heart and who will give me Christian advice and encouragement.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Social Networking Woes...

I have been away for quite some time. Life is so busy right now. I am taking 9 hrs of classes, and Baby K is now (almost) 9 months old! Eeeeek!!!! Between classes and work and family...I've been trying to keep up with him. He is crawling everywhere. If I ever, EVER thought I was busy before, I totally take it back. Because this is the definition of BUSY!!!!!!! In other news he has continued to have ear infection after infection so last Friday we had no choice but to get tubes. Last night, however, we spent 5 hrs in the ER because he wouldn't stop vomiting. He was dehydrated and had to get fluids. So right now, he is fighting something viral. (If I only had a $1 for every time I've heard that said in the last 9 months.) He seems to be much better right now, and is resting as I type this.

This is just a snippet of my post to come. It's been jumbled in my head the past few weeks. I'll just leave you with this: Social Networking has put a crack in my Christian life.

I'll tell you all about it in the next few days and how I'm filling in the cracks with a new Bible study I am extremely excited about.

Hope this finds you all (if there are any of you left) well!!!!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Look who's 7 Months old....

He can sit up, clap his hands, and pull up on some things. He has 2 teeth coming in on the bottom...where has the time gone?????

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Counting Down...

107 shopping days until Christmas!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Turning over a new leaf....

I am getting into the fall spirit. I've noticed the tree tops beginning to change colors; some leaves are even falling to the ground. I've noticed the nip in the air is changing. I've also noticed the stores bringing out holiday items...Halloween, Thanksgiving, even Christmas.

I've already started on my Christmas shopping for Baby K. I am buying odds and ends as I see them, but I know he will get so much that he won't know what to play with first. I am so blessed.

I did something this morning, I hadn't done in quite a while. I opened up a Bible Study book. My relationship with God has taken a drastic turn in the past year. It's almost ironic that this time last year, as I was pregnant with Baby K and praying more often than I had my entire life, that I find myself rarely praying at all these days. Lately, I haven't opened my bible studies; I have been skipping out on church services; I have been back sliding. [Pam, this is why you haven't seen me at church lately]

I've been under conviction for a few weeks now, about recommitting my life, and I am still praying about it. I am almost ready I think...but still praying. So tonight, Baby K will get one Christmas present early. I will be opening up the Baby Bible I got him, and we will be reading it before bed. [Satan, you can't have my family...I'm taking it back! And God's by my side!]

Thursday, August 27, 2009

School and a little chit-chat with K....

I began my fall semester this week, and I am already kicking myself for signing up for 9 credit hours. Sure, 9 hrs doesn't seem like a lot to most students, but it's a lot to anyone who works full time. I have class M-W from 6-9pm. [which means I won't see my husband or child very much during the week, and when I do, I have to prioritize family, friends, cleaning, cooking, laundry, homework, church, work, shopping, ...and I could go on and on. Seriously, I need about 10 extra hours in each day to get everything finished.]

Last night was the first night of my Adolescent Literature class. The instructor sent us a schedule a week or so ago of 12 novels we have to read by December. Well, as if that weren't enough I found out in class that I have to read an additional 3 novels of my own choosing... 15 books by December! Not only does this seem difficult, it's going to be down right impossible! I'm not a big reader...I read leisurely on occassion, but honestly, I stay so busy with work/school/life that I would rather sleep in my spare time. Sad, I know...but true.

Last night, K and I held this conversation:

Me: [Looking at the clock which read 11pm] I have to read 15 books from now until December. I seriously have to read 1.5 books per week to make that happen. I feel like I need to start one of them now.

K: Well, I know you are going to be very busy this semester, and I will do all I can to be supportive of that...BUT...

Me: [rolling my eyes to the ever imminent "but." I have already decided I'm not going to like this statement, no matter what it is.]

K: have to remember you are a wife and mother and we have needs too.

Me: [I was so right. I did NOT like this statement.]

Me: Honey, I know that. have to remember that you have one night each week without a wife and child (because my mom picks up Baby K on Tues and I get him from her on my way home from school) to do all the things that you want to do or work on your school stuff without distractions [because to be fair he is working on his Master's but only taking one class] and I don't get this. So, you are going to have to share my free time between Baby K and school assignments. That's just the way it is until December.

I think I hurt his feelings. But, when he said he has all know what kind of needs those are, and I know he has them. I'm doing my best to be submissive, but I honestly can't keep up. And now, I'm sorry, but I'm tired...and well...I'll leave it at that. I would rather sleep sometimes. Have I ever mentioned my love for sleep or the fact that Baby K is still waking 2 times each night?

How have you all managed everything about life after the kiddo's came? Did you find that your s.ex drive plummeted, because mine died? It actually passed on to the world hear-after a long time before Baby K was born...another great thing Infertily robs us of.

Any advice?

Monday, August 17, 2009

Catching up...

I haven't really made this information public knowledge, but K and I are back on the infertility rollercoaster. We decided when Baby K was born that we didn't want to wait to ttc #2. Afterall, it took us 5 years to conceive #1. And no, this isn't a pregnancy annoncement...just an update to let you all know that we are back on the saddle, and it's still just as frustrating as I remember it being.

We still have 6 months to go before we can go back on meds, so until then we are depending on mother nature to do her thing. Doubt she will, but if so, I will be plesantly surprised. I know most of you are probably thinking, man...that was fast. Yes, I agree. But I don't want to become "that" person who was consumed by infertility, so we decided to go ahead and give the green light. Because if it isn't my ever waking moment, it won't hurt as much, right?

Wrong. It's still just as frustrating as I rememeber it. Baby K makes it hurt a little less, but it is still just as frustrating. Until then, I just give all of my love to the one blessing that God has given me...and we pray for those of you still waiting to get your miracles.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Is anyone out there?

I haven't really had a lot of extra time to blog lately. I'm hoping that I haven't managed to lose the few readers I had. I have been reading, but commenting and posting have certainly taken a back burner to other priorities. I have one week remaining of summer break before Fall 09 sememster starts. I can't believe I am already starting my second year of what will be my 2nd bachelor's degree. I have really enjoyed my classes so far, and I now understand why Teaching is the best profession on earth.

Anyway, I'm seeking your advice if you are out there. I have a little problem. To make a long story short, I use to be really good friends with a girl, whom we will call D. She was one of my best friends, even though there were some quirks about her that really un-nerved me. To spare you all the grusome details, I'll just say this: I said something aweful about D, even though it was true to how I felt, to another friend in email. I should have said it to D, but I didn't. That didn't change that it was how I felt. Well, D found out about it...not through hear-say but by cracking the password to my email. Part of my statement was made out of my insecurities during infertility. (we all know how crazy it can make you).

Am I alone to think that she was in the wrong too? Yes, I should have made my statement to her instead of someone else. And, I'll be honest, it was really on the verge of happening, because I had all I could handle...but I didnt.

It has been almost 3 years since then, and well...we are now just "acquaitances." We'll leave comments here and there on Facebook, but that is about the extent of our relationship. The worst part of all of this is how much I miss her son, H. I became really attached to H during all of my infertility struggles, and well...I lost him too in this process. I have apologized, and she has too, but it's just not the same, nor will it ever be.

Recently, I decided...I was over it. I miss her, yes, but I'm not going to put myself out there and beg to be friends again anymore. Since then, her grandpa died and I went to the funeral (because I know how important he was to her, and I still care about her), but we haven't spoken since then. It's really sad...

What is your advice on this situation. Do I just give it more time, even though it's been 3 years, or do I cut my losses. I think the thing that bothers me most is that while I was pregnant, I told her I really wanted her to be an important part of my son's life. She came to see him in the hospital when he was born, and a few times since, but she really doesn't acknowledge him at all.

Is this stupid? Advice anyone?

Monday, August 10, 2009

Happy 6 months Baby K!

My baby boy is six months old today. When I began praying for him, I began bargaining with God. I promise to do this...I promise to do that. I had all intentions of being the best mother EVER, and oh how I have failed over and over again. I do try my best to be a great mom, but there are so many other things that I could do better. I will spare you all the details, but I will say that I have turned my prayer to God doing something really BIG in my life. And I trust that just as he answered my prayer for Baby K, he will also answer this prayer.

On a lighter note, hop over to Janna's blog and help count down the days until she makes her Little Bit's adoption final!!! It's less than 2 weeks away. I have followed her journey for a while (she may not even realize it, but she was the first to comment on my blog), and I could not be any happier for her!!!!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Checking in...

I am exhausted. For those of you who aren't aware, I am currently going back to school to become a teacher, in addition to working full time, being a wife to my wonderful husband & a mommy to a 5-month old (EEEK!!!!). To say my life is busy, is an understatement. I am blessed, none-the-less.

I have a complex about my life. You see, I thought expanding my family by 10 little toes would solve all of my insecurity issues. Some of you told me it wouldn't, that only I could change those... you were right. Having a baby has made me more secure in some ways, but I am still insecure in others.

Have you ever allowed yourself to love someone with every bit of your being? This is how I feel about my husband, my child, my parents... How on earth did that not scare the bee-gee-bee's out of you? It terrifies me. I mostly worry about if my marriage will abruptly end one day. It would devestate me. There isn't anything in particular that K does to make me feel this way. He tries to make me feel secure, but I still don't. I also worry about "what if something happens to me?" or worse, "What if something happens to him or Baby k? Or, my parents?"

I'm weird like that, I guess. I'm in a funky place right now. Emotionally, Socially, Spiritually. I am somewhere caught between where I was and where I want to be...and I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

I'm sorry this post is such a downer today. I'm in a rut. This is an odd request, and I'm sure I have left many of you lost, but would you mind praying for me today? Specifically that I stop feeling so insecure and trust people in my life more, that I get back to being spiritually where I was, and that I stop allowing Satan to have this hold over my "happiness," because I do know, clear-cut without a doubt, this is the Enemy.

Thank you all! I love you guys!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Greetings from Myrtle Beach, SC...

First and foremost, I need to start this post by thanking these guys:

You really made our trip to MB much easier since Baby K seems to enjoy your silly singing and dancing. Much to my displeasure, I have found myself also singing your stupid songs. "Wiggle-it party, wiggle-it party, wiggle-it party, snap, snap, snap; clap, clap, clap; wiggle your hips just like that." Now don't all rush out at once to buy it, but it did really make our drive much easier...

Now on to more important stuff.

This was just an idea I had on the beach, but isn't it just the cutest!?!

I think this is my favorite. He is so handsome here--ladies, watch out!

There is something so beautiful about the innocence of a child, and I have found that I notice Baby K's innocence most in his baby blue eyes...

Hope you all are having an amazing weekend! Looking forward to catching up on all of your posts.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Uh we go again!!!! (with Update)

Guess who has an appointment today with the Allergist...Yep, Baby K. I'm pretty sure after being off his antibiotic for an entire 10 days--may I remind you it was a 20 day antibiotic this round--I'm willing to place my bet that he has [uh um...and we all say together] "ANOTHER EAR INFECTION." I just don't know what else to do for him. We've taken the paci, seen a chiropractor, pediatrician, ear, nose, and throat specialist, and allergist. As much as I hate to say it, tubes are probably our next step. I'm trying to hold off as long as possible, because I really think this is allergy related, but I'm beginning to have doubts. I just want him to be better....ya know? Will you all keep us in your prayers so that we make the best decision for his care?

I'll update later with the results of our appointment.

I stand corrected. Praise God Baby K does NOT have another ear infection. So that means one of two things...1)The 20 day antibiotic did the trick, or 2)The chiropractor is working!!!!!!!!! We left with NOOOOOOO antibiotics and clear instructions to continue breathing treatments every 4 hours for the cough. As I type this, my son is sleeping away on the sofa. (Which is also where you will find me as soon as I hit "post.")

Whatever the latest culprit is I am told is viral. Probably from his previous daycare. Long story short, Baby K was suppose to start a new daycare today. We were not happy at all with our last provider. Anything that could go wrong, did. I had my last straw with them last Thursday when I picked him up (we had already submitted our notice at this point), and I saw on his daily sheet that he had refused bottles all day long. He ate for the first time at 3pm that day. Correct me if I'm over-reacting, but I was furious! I could not believe they didn't call me. He ate nada, zip, nothing for 8 whole hours. Yes, that pretty much did it for me. He did not go back. He was to start the new daycare next Monday, but I called the new provider and begged to let him start today. And then, he didn't even get to.

Anywho, just wanted to update and give God praise that my little man's ears are still clear. Now, just hoping this virus has began to run it's course and will be moving on soon.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy First Father's Day Love!

No. One Daddy Pictures, Images and Photos

I am growing really fast Daddy,
And I am watching all you do.
Because when I grow up to become a man,
I hope to be like you.

I love it when you play with me,
Even when you give me baths;
You make those crazy noises that
Always seem to make me laugh.

I can't believe you will soon
Show me how to fly a kite,
And I just can hardly wait until
You will teach me to ride a bike.

Then one day soon, Daddy,
You'll teach me how to hunt;
You'll show me how to scout for deer
And how to hold my gun.

Don't be sad because I'm growing up,
I'm becoming just like you.
And I'm so excited over
The fun things you and I will do

This is your keepsake to remember
Once I'm big and tall
That it really wasn't that long ago
I use to be this small.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Private Blogging

I am making preparations to make this blog private. If you are following along, whether you are a regular commenter or lurker, please leave a comment with your email address so I can provide you access. Or, feel free to drop me an email. It's ironic to say (with my posting on the world wide web) that this is necessary to protect my family, but given the recent revelations of people snagging photos without permission, I feel this is an important step to protect my son's identity.

I really don't want to lose any of my readers, because you have all become such good friends to me :) So I am sending this open invitation now to anyone who wants access.

And, Thanks Jill for the html code that prevents people from copying your pics! That was so helpful! If you want details, Jill or I can share the code with you.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

So this is goodbye...

Dear Friend,

You and I have grown so close over the last 4 months of my life. When I think back on all the times I needed comforting, you were there for me. When I couldn't be quiet during church, you were there. Through my MANY, MANY ear infections, I knew I could always count on you... Dangling from my bib, I always could find you within my grasp.

If I was missing my Mommy and Daddy while I was at daycare, you reminded me they would be back soon. I chose to play with you rather than take naps like my classmates. My teachers always brought you back to me when I dropped you. Yes, you and I have become the best of friends.

But today Mommy is taking you away from me. She keeps saying I am now 4 months old, and that you could really affect my teeth (whatever that is), or [gasp] that it could be you causing my ear infections. I know better--you would never hurt me. I overheard Mommy say that I only get you back if I begin to suck on my thumb, because "Mommy can't take my thumb away." Until then, our lives shall take different paths, but I will be missing you tremendously, my friend. It makes me sad just to think about it.

Baby K

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Baby K...

Meet our son. He is feeling so much better.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

After the Allergist....

I am relieved to say we have a game plan. The allergist believes this very well is an allergy issue. We went ahead and tested Baby K for milk and egg allergies and he tested negative. [Imagine me doing my happy dance....] Nutramigen is not necessary. Yippee!!!!! We can slowly begin switching him back to Gentlease. Dr. S also said to hold off on tubes for now. So, we will be finishing up our antibiotic, continueing with the chiropractic adjustments, and hopefully [fingers crossed] this will work. Dr. S feels as if we are on the downhill side of things. She did suggest doing Nasalcrom 1 squirt in each side of nose 2 times a day. Dr. S says this is as safe as water--no steroids or anything. K and I are almost convinced of pulling Baby K out of daycare. My mom is begging me to quit work and watch him, and I think we may eventually give in. If it will keep him healthier, it's definitely worth it. We need a little more time to think this through though.

Never-the-less, thank you all for you advice. I'm not totally anti-tubes. I think if someone can tell me that it would really cut back on the ear infections, it may be worth it. But, let me remind you the ENT says he will continue to be sick as long as he's in daycare with tubes.

I'm pro-whatever makes my baby feel better. I don't want to keep pumping him full of antibiotics.

When it rains, it car over-heated today in the drive-thru line. My dad suspects it's the thermostat which is relatively cheap to fix. All in all, it's still been a good day :)

Monday, June 1, 2009

Checking in...

Yes, we are still sick. Or shall I say, Baby K is still sick. He has now officially been sick half of his existance on earth. It's really sad.

To catch you all up to date, 05/18/09 he was diagnosed with his third double ear infection in less than 5 weeks. This ear infection was treated with two rounds of rocephin antibiotic shots. Last Monday, on 05/25/09 we were told his ears were clear.

He also had 2 chiropractic adjustments last week as a preventitive. On Friday, 05/29/09 I had to take him back to the Dr. because he has ANOTHER ear infection, except this time he also has a sinus infection. We've been prescribed a 20 day antibiotic (this makes our 5th) and he also is having to have breathing treatments when he takes his coughing attacks (which I failed to mention, he has had this cough since 04/08/09, the first ear infection and the dr. continued to think it was viral).

Now that he's had about 6 breathing treatments, the cough is almost completely gone. To say I am frustrated is an understatment. We had an appointment with an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist today who said "Tubes, tubes, tubes..." before even looking in Baby K's ears. The dr. also switch his formula last week to Nutramigen...whew!!! That hurt. It costs about $25 for 12.6 oz can which barely lasts 2 days...

The ENT told me today that the chiro is a complete waste of money. I am willing to give it more time before I schedule the surgery, because he (the ENT) also said that as long as Baby K was in daycare he would continue to stay sick even with tubes because "he is just one of those babies who stay sick all the time." Also, my gut feeling is that Baby K is allergic to something. K had tubes as a baby which did not work because he had such bad allergies.

So, I am completely confused. I have no idea what to do. I have an appt tomorrow with an allergy doctor (our 5th doctor, probably 5th different diagnosis). I'm thinking after all is said and done, we'll just draw straws as to who is right...

Advice? Anyone?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Kris Allen

Isn't it great to have a Christian American idol? Check out this clip I saw on Kelly's blog. I wanted to share it with all of you:

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Ear infection from H, E, double L

Yes, folks. You read correctly. We have our third double ear infection in 6 weeks. My poor baby. I had to take Baby K back to the doctor yesterday for the same symptoms. Vomiting, not eating, coughing, fever, fussiness...all our tell-all syptoms of a classic Baby K ear infection. My intuition was correct. Both ears are still infected. No more oral meds. We brought out the big guns. Baby K got 2 shots of antibiotics in his legs yesterday. K stayed home with him today and took him to his 24 hr. re-check. Baby K got 2 more shots today. My poor baby boy. He's a human pin cushion. Hopefully, these shots (which I will add were traumatic for K to watch) will kick this Ear infection in the bum and it'll march itself on to new living quarters. It's taken up residency way too long in my little man's ears, and overstayed it's welcome! And, Baby K's cough has been so severe that he has lyrangitis. Have you ever heard a baby cry with Lyrangitis. It's so pitiful....

Feel better soon, little man!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Last year on mothers day, I wrote this post. At this time in my life, I really felt that I would never celebrate Mother's Day.

This year, I am a Mom. But, I'll be honest, I felt Mother's Day was bittersweet. The sweet part is that I got to hold my precious son, a child I never anticipated I would hold just 12 months ago. In fact, this year I won the mother with the youngest baby award at our church. My church is rather large, so this came as a huge surprise to me. If someone would have told me last May this would happen this year, I would have told them they were crazy....

The bitter part was that my heart was still so heavy for the women who are still waiting on their miracles. This pain is still fresh for me, and it probably has scarred my heart forever. Ladies, I'm still praying for you. I'm praying for God to give you your miracles, and for Him to give you patience in the time between. I pray this day wasn't hard for you, and if it was, I pray that God gave you the comfort you needed.

I hope you all are having a wonderful week so far!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Weekly ramblings...

It's Friday night at 9:45, and what's that sound? Could this be silence? Could my precious baby boy be finally sleeping? Oh my--I do believe it is. Whew!

I don't mean to sound as if I am complaining, because I do realize how blessed I am to have a baby that I can just put down to bed, and he will soothe himself to sleep. We, well...K, put Baby K on a schedule a few weeks ago. He gets a bath at 8:30, bottle at 8:45, and he is in bed at 9:00. This schedule has worked great for him since he began daycare a few weeks ago.

Speaking of daycare, my sweet Baby K refuses to nap during the day. I mean, "yay for me..." cause that means he sleeps at night (and if you read my prior post, then you know how important sleep is for me). But I worry that he may be extrememly fussy during the day. Just one day this week, his daily sheet stated that he napped from 8:30-8:35; 9:30-9:35; 12:00-12:30. [I have no clue why they even listed the first two. I don't really consider 5 minutes a nap.]

On another note, I stayed out of work Thurs and today because we have our 2nd double ear infection. [That makes 2 in 3 weeks.] Baby K has been so fussy the past 48hrs. [Now, you know why I am enjoying the moment of temporary silence that I am currently experiencing.] This infection began much like the last one. He began to be fussy when we would lay him down, but he was his usual happy self if he was sitting upright. Then, the vomiting began, followed by his refusal to eat...So today, "Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to the dr. we go." A doctor bill and antibiotic later, my suspicions were confirmed.

Yesterday, I also found out that someone I went to high school with lost her battle with Cancer. She was 28 years old, and is leaving behind a husband, a five year old son, and two year old daughter. I am completely heartbroken for this family. But, what an amazing testimony she is leaving behind. Never once did her love for the Lord waiver during her battle. And she fought up until the last breath. That makes my heart smile, because I know that Satan really gave a full effort to take her away from God. So take that Mr. Satan! You never got her, and now she is singing praises with the Lord! [Tomorrow is the receiving services and Sunday the burial for this extraordinary woman. If you think of it, please pray for them.]

So, in a nut shell, that has been my week. How has your week been?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

New Revelations....

During the past 10 weeks of motherhood, I have learned many important life lessons.

--I never knew I could function on such few hours of sleep. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love, love, love to sleep. In fact, it's my favorite hobby. I was always in the bed early at night, and could sleep until noon if allowed. Now, I am lucky to get in 5 good hours of sleep per night with Baby K still waking up 2 times per night.

--The maker of caffeine pills is brilliant for those of us who really don't like coffee. I confess. I am a caffeine junkie. I love anything manufactured to give you energy. Re.d Bu.ll, caffeine pills, etc. Give me more!!!! (Giving this stuff up was the most difficult part of my pregnancy.) Why do I need energy, you ask? See above. You get the same "pick me up" without the after-taste.

--I probably wouldn't need all of the energy items if I would exercise. That's suppose to make you feel better.

--I hate exercising!

--I use to hate when I was little and my mom would lick her finger to wipe a little smudge off of my face. Well, I have became my mother. I find myself licking my finger to wipe off Baby K's milk mustashe. This really is a nasty habit, but it serves it's purpose.

--Daycare has really put a great, big, HUGE dent in our wallets. I really have to control my need to splurge when I am out shopping.

--Baby K is growing up WAYYYYYYYY too fast. Over the past week, I have had to pack away all of his newborn and 0-3 months clothes. He's already 10 weeks old! That just seems crazy to me.

--I miss being pregnant. Even when I was so sick with morning sickness, I really enjoyed being pregnant. I miss it. K and I couldn't even consider trying for #2 at this point in our lives. But, it makes me look forward to the day that we are expecting another little one.

--I hope trying for #2 comes a little easier. If it takes 5 years, Baby K would be beginning kindergarten!!!! (And that's if we started trying today!)

So far, those are the important life lessons I can think of. I'm sure that this list will continue to grow in the days ahead.

Hope you all are having a wonderful Wednesday!

Friday, April 17, 2009

website for "Mommy's Answered Prayers" onesie...

This onesie was ordered from this website. Check it out. They have Christian clothing for babies and toddlers.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Look who's 9 weeks old.....

My dear friend, Deidre, bought Baby K this onesie...isn't it perfect? Thanks so much Deidre!!!! We love it!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Week of firsts....

This has been my first week back at work. It has been really difficult getting back into the swing of things. My co-workers have been really supportive of me. I am happy to say that I can now see the top of my desk. I didn't realize how much paperwork one could accumulate in 8 weeks.

My return to work also means that this was Baby K's first week of daycare. On Monday morning K and I took Baby K to drop him off. His teacher had made a sign to hang on his classroom door which read, "Welcome K." My eyes teared up when I kissed him bye, but I fought back the tears. Monday was a very hard day for me. Leaving my poor, innocent child with people I barely knew. What if he needed me? Would they take as good care of him as I do? It was a day full of questions. I called around lunch to check on him, and I was told he was doing wonderful. He had slept most of the day. K picked him up on Monday, because I have school. So, I didn't get to lay my eyes on my child until 9pm that night! It was a terribly long day, but I survived.

When I got home from class on Monday, all I wanted to do was love on Baby K. As soon as I picked him up, he started crying. K told me that he had been so fussy all evening. He had a cough that was just starting and his nose was yucky. So, this was also Baby K's first cold. Baby K spent his first night sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's room sitting up in his bouncy seat.

On Tuesday, Baby K went to daycare, but I called to see how he was since he was so fussy the night before. His cough had gotten so much worse and he was now running a low-grade fever. [Impecable timing!] On Wednesday, I missed my first day of work, since returning from Maternity leave (yes, that's a whole two days later) to take my sick little boy to the doctor. He has his first ear infection(s). Thank heavens the doctor gave him an antiobiotic.

Yesterday my mom kept him for me so I could work. Today, our daycare is closed in observance of the Easter holiday, so K's sister is keeping him. So--we have paid $170 for 2 days of daycare this week... Good times....

And lest I forget, this will be Baby K's first Easter. I can't wait to take him to church Sunday in his new Easter outfit, but more importantly, I can't wait until he's old enough to understand the true meaning of Easter.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Ask Anything response (part 2)

Charne asked, "share with us how you managed to keep the faith while trying to concieve, and on those rough days what did u do to make it easier? how did infertility affect your hubbys faith?"

Charne, I wish I could say that it was easy for me to keep the faith while trying to conceive. The low-down-dirty-truth is that it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. There were many days that I didn't have faith at all. I spent many hours questioning God or worse, directing my anger toward Him. Somehow, someway I just slowly let all of those emotions go. Getting pregnant was still just as important to me, but it didn't hurt quite as much. I learned to keep my faith by surrounding myself with supportive people. I asked so many people to pray for me during this time in my life. I believe their prayers carried me through this valley.

On those rough days, I would toss myself a pity-party. I would have a good cry (cause its my party, and I could cry if I want to :) and I would reach out in the blogging world for a shoulder to cry on. In my real life, there was only two people who I truly believed understood what I was going through--my husband and a friend from church who had too walked in my shoes. But, eventually, I would just get over-it and the next day (or day after that) would be better.

Infertility wasn't as big of a giant for my husband. He wasn't the problem in our inability to conceive, so I don't feel as if it took a toll emotionally on him as it did on me. However, with that said, he was so supportive of me during this time that I don't think I really gave him the opportunity to let it affect him. (As I was laid open on the operating table awaiting the birth of our son, I thanked him for being the wonderful man/husband that he is. He could have left me...but he stayed, even when we were told that biological children were not in our future. I know if our roles were reversed that I would have been as supportive of him. I love him just as much.)

K and I did deal with infertility differently. I was more "outward" while he never showed his emotion. I know it affected him, but he never let me see it because I felt so "fragile."

Eventually, I....

Will finish the post next time...

Friday, April 3, 2009

Ask Anything response (part 1)

Joy asked: What was your first job?! Did you go to college and if so, where? What was your degree in?

Joy, my first job was at a supermarket as a cashier. I started working a week before my 15th birthday and have been working ever since! I wouldn't technically consider that a "real" job since I was only part time. My first what I consider "real" job was an office assistant for the company I currently work for. I have been employed here for almost 11 years. Now, I am a retail accountant and I handle the books and financial statements for 6 customers.

My current bachelor's degree is in Accounting. I went to school here. But, I am really in need of a career change, so I decided last fall to go back to school to become a Middle Grades teacher. I am currently working on my second bachelor's degree from here.

Charne, I got your question also, and I am working on the post. I hope to have it up in a few days.

If anyone else can think of anything you want to know, just ask. Right now, I am confused on the direction this blog needs to take. It began as an infertility blog. At some point, when I begin trying for baby #2, it probably will resume being an infertility blog. However, right now, it just doesn't seem appropriate for where I am in my life.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Ask anything...

Lately, I have really struggled with topics to write about. My blog has really been pushed to the back burner with caring for Baby K. Many of you have kiddo's of your very own, or are very close, so you don't mind reading about my experiences as a new parent. Many of you are still waiting, and the last thing you want to read is the topics I have been blogging on. If you are still waiting, please know I am still praying!

Anyway, so I am coming to you for help. Ask me anything? Is there something you want to know about me? It can be about infertility, my marriage, my faith, or anything in between. So, ask me anything...

Monday, March 23, 2009

Latest Newsflash...

Hold on to the edge of your seats friends! I have earth shattering news to share! Well, maybe not earth shattering, but it's pretty darn good news I think. This weekend I began packing away all those maternity clothes that had taken up residency in my closet the past 10 months. I thought just for kicks I would try to squeeze into a pair of my old jeans...just to see how much work I still have left to do. And believe it or not, I was able to get my jeans on. Be it as it may, I had to lay down on my bed and suck in for dear life, but I was able to get them buttoned. This made my day!! It will still be awhile before I can wear any of them comfortably, or else I would probably turn blue from lack of oxygen, but I am certainly making progress! I am most definitely looking forward to my wardrobe expanding instead of my waistline.

On other news, I visited the daycare that Baby K will be starting 2 weeks from today [gasp!]. I can't believe that he will be 6 weeks old tomorrow. This was my first visit. I hadn't really felt the need to visit since one of my MIL's friends works in the nursery. Let's just say, Baby K is no longer going to be enrolling in this daycare. I was so disappointed. First, my MIL's friend wasn't even there, so maybe that's why I left feeling uneasy about placing him in their care. However, I felt like I had just walked into an orphanage. The room was so tiny and cluttered. I had expected something totally different. So, I left and called K and explained my insecurities. I later stopped by a daycare closer to my home and I accepted their last vacant spot in the infant room. It was a top of the line cost a little more money each week and the registration fee--which has to be paid yearly--is more than expected, but I can justify the extra expense just to feel comfortable where Baby K is cared for. [Let me just say, I think a registration fee is a ripoff!]

So, that's the latest. I hope you all are having a wonderful week. The sun is shining here in NC and I admit to having a bit of summer fever! I am so bummed by cold weather and I can't wait until the flowers begin to bloom and I can spend my days outside with my Little Man...

Oh...go give Mandy some love. She's less than 3 weeks away from delivery! And I've never been happier for my dear friend Jill. Go give her some love too!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

He's one month old....

I can't believe that Baby K is already one month old! He had his 4 week check up yesterday, and he's already up to 9 lbs 3 oz. That makes him in the 35%. That's quite an acomplishment for a little guy who was suppose to be so small.

He also had to get a shot. The nurse told me, "Now mom, his face is going to get really red and he's probably going to cry, but this is necessary to keep him healthy." She was right. He did cry...and I felt my eyes fill up with tears trying to comfort him. It was horrible--not for him. He only cried for a minute. For ME!!! Okay, so I only cried for a minute too, but it broke my heart to see him in pain even if it was only for a nano-second.

Last night wasn't so good. Baby K wouldn't eat much yesterday, and he didn't sleep well either. I feel like a zombie today! I was up and down most of the night with him. He hasn't napped well today either. I hope it's not like this everytime he gets shots.

He is starting to get his own little personality. I'll insert here that he gets his lack of patience from his father. Actually, he gets all bad qualities from his dad, right? In the last few days I have noticed that he tries to smile now. I've even heard what I thought may be a little laugh from him.

I love Kenny Chesney's song, "Don't Blink." It's so true. I feel as if I blinked and a month is gone! I just can't believe he's already a month old!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Parenting after Infertility....

I have had this blog swimming around in my head for the past 3 weeks. I couldn't seem to find the time to get it down to share with caring for a newborn. It's hard to believe that my son will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. Where has the time gone?

If I had it to do over again, I would still opt for a c-section. I checked into the hospital on 02/10/09 around 5:30 a.m. I had to give my medical history and get the IV started, but at a little after 7 a.m. I was taken into the operating room for my epidural. Baby K entered the world at 7:53 a.m., and it was all over with. I was a mommy.

My first week at home was rough. I don't mean this in a way that sounds ungrateful, but I was completely overwhelmed. Call it postpartum, call it anxiety, but I believe that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I couldn't eat. I was so emotionally distraught that I was vomiting and had major stomach issues. As I would get up to feed Baby K, all I could think was, "I don't know if I can do this..." I believe I was having a hard time bonding with Baby K. It's almost as if I didn't know how to find closure for the chapter in my life titled "infertility."

The second week was much better. Perhaps I was getting use to the sleep deprivation. Baby K wakes every 2 hours to nurse, so I decided to supplement him with some formula also. This relieved some of the stress from breast feeding off of me. Now, I nurse during the day and he takes bottles at night. Even though he still wakes every 2-2.5 hours, I easily get out of bed and greet him with open arms. I love to watch his facial expressions while he is sleeping. He smiles, and it melts my heart.

Infertility robbed me from so many good moments in our lives over the last five years. I don't know how I did it, but I finally kissed goodbye to that evil curse. I will say that parenting is much harder than I expected it to be. Most days I feel as if I am a zombie. But infertility gave me something very special that I had failed to recognize: I have so much love, appreciation, and thanksgiving for this little life. I don't know that if I had gotten pregnant easily that I would feel so blessed by his presence in my life. I have never loved anyone in the way that I love my son. The bond that I now share with him is incomparable to any other bond I've ever felt before.

Yesterday at church, my associate pastor sang a song that says, "Somebody's praying, I can feel it. Somebody's praying for me." I can't express my gratitude to the people who prayed for me during this time in my life. I am still praying for those of you waiting on your answered prayers faithfully. I pray for God to give you peace admist your waiting.

I'll leave you with these:

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Hello Ladies! Please meet our son:

Baby K
Born @ 7:53 a.m. 02/10/09
7lbs 6 oz.
21" long

The doctors were so wrong. He wasn't little at all. He's absolutely perfect. More to come later!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

It's official....

After Tuesday's follow up ultrasound to measure growth and my regular doc appt yesterday, it appears that Baby K will grace us with his beautiful presence Tues, Feb 10, around 9 a.m. via c-section. He will be delivered by our amazing doctor, Dr. R, who I completely trust with both of our health.

Tuesday's ultrasound was precautionary. It definitely seems that Baby K will be on the smaller side. His head is measuring in the 19th percentile, his legs are measuring in the 22nd percentile, and his abdomen is measuring in at 26th percentile. Dr. R says that although he will be "small" he will appear to be a little chunky :) This makes mom and dad really happy.... I was so worried he was going to be "preemie" small. We found out that he is estimated to weigh right at 6lbs right now. Dr. R said he could realistically make me wait another week since I am due Feb 17. However, for nutritional reasons it is best he come early.

Thank you all for your comments on our photo's. I was somewhat hesitant to post them. I want to be sensitive to all of your feelings. I know so many of you are still waiting on your miracles, and I hope you know that I pray every day that your time is drawing near.

Monday, February 2, 2009

The Last Days....

These are just a few sneak peaks of the pregnancy portraits we had made. Enjoy!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Sorry for the delay...

I am a week over-due writing the update on the level 2 ultrasound. Things are crazy busy right now. I am back in school Monday and Wednesday nights, and I am trying to get ready to welcome Baby K into the world in 3 weeks. (EEEEKKKK!!!! THREE weeks people!)

Long story short, Baby K seems to be well. The ultrasound did show that he has what's called a hydrocele in his private area. But from what I've heard/read, this isn't too uncommon for little boys. It should either a)correct itself on its own, or b)it can be surgically corrected in the future. The main cause for concern is that his head is still measuring behind his body. Not too far behind, but small. Dr. R made me laugh to ease my concern. He said that usually when he looks at patients he thinks, "Dang, you've got a big head." So his theory is that Baby K comes from a small headed family. He feels this is all "precautionary" because I am still--even at 37 weeks--considered high risk.

However, with that said, I have another follow up ultrasound on FEB 3 at the same hospital. I am stoked that we get to take another peak at him (especially since the little booger keeps his hands in front of his face ALL THE TIME.)

As it stands right now, Baby K will be here on Feb 10 by c-section. (For those who are new to my blog, I can't have a natural birth because I severly fractured my pelvis when I was in high school. If I were to have a natural birth, I risk re-fracturing it during labor.) When we go back on Feb 3 for our final ultrasound, if he still hasn't grown, then he will be taken before Feb 10. Dr. R explained that if he wasn't growing well in-utero then our next best option was to get him out so he can be taken care of. As of last Monday, he only weighs 4lbs 14 oz...

So, even though it would be nice to have Baby K grace us with his presence early, the best thing is for him to bake just a bit longer.

Thank you all for your prayers and support over the past week and I covent your continued prayers for Baby K to grow!!!!!!!