Tuesday, December 30, 2008

2008 Reflections....

One year ago, I was here. I can't believe that 365 days later, I am now on the down-hill spiral to finally welcoming my son home. A son I was told that would never be. A son I was told to give up on. A son I prayed for in excess of five years. I am so humbled that God takes over control where science says it is impossible. I've always believed with God all things are possible, but now my circumstances are reassurance to anyone who doubts. I hope this somehow gives all of you who are still waiting on your prayers to be answered hope. Keep praying--even when you feel all prayed out.

My latest dr. appt went well. I was told that my son's heartrate sounded good. I asked Dr. R for one last ultrasound since we hadn't had one since finding out the sex at 17 weeks. We are having our final ultrasound next Monday. Dr. R did tell me that my son is measuring "small." These words terrified me at first. Dr. R told me the only reason he was telling me this is because the ultrasound tech would probably mention to me that he is a small baby. So, how small is "small?" Dr. R estimates that my baby isn't quite 4 lbs yet. Overall, I expect to have a little baby. Both K and I were under 7lbs and I am relatively little compared to many expectant mothers. I feel a little better about Baby K being little now than I did a week ago. I know I still have 6 weeks to go, so I hope he picks up some lbs in my final days. (And FYI for any of you still interested in our nursery. I am patiently waiting on K to STILL put up our baby border so I can post pictures.)

Christmas was very busy. My dad's side of the family gathered for Christmas this year, first time in years. We all really miss my Aunt Cathy, and even though the mood was kind of somber, we enjoyed spending time together. We also celebrated with K's immediate family, K's extended family, my grandparents, my immediate family...It was as if I blinked my eyes and it was over. Busy, busy...

I can't believe 2009 is only 2 days away. I pray that the upcoming New Year brings us all good health, happiness, and hope.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Passing On...

On behalf of my entire family, thank you all for your prayers for my aunt's recovery. I am deeply saddened to write that as of yesterday, my aunt passed away. If you could please continue to pray for my family--especially her son, Jason--we would all be so appreciative...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Prayer Request...

I am in need of a special prayer request from you guys. My dad's sister, Cathy, had a heart attack on Monday and is in ICU. Long story short, Cathy has asthma. She had been having trouble with asthma attacks recently and had been seen by a doctor on Sunday and Monday of this week. Her doctors gave her some shots to help open up her lungs. However, after leaving the doctor's office on Monday she had a really bad attack. She couldn't breath at all by the time she called 911. The asthma attack was so bad it sent her into cardic arrest. EMT's responded to the call and found her unconscience and unresponsive upon arrival. It is estimated that she went without oxygen for around 5 minutes.

Due to her lack of oxygen, she now how swelling in the brain. Yesterday, the family was called in because she needed to have a CT scan. Doctor's were unsure that she was stable enough to move, so they wanted our family there incase something went wrong. Thankfully, she did survive the CT scan, but now has developed MRSA.

Our family has been told that her prognosis is very poor. She has lost some brain activity, we don't know how severe that will be. Her chest x-ray looks good and it appears that she has had minimal effects on her heart. However, the swelling of her brain is not decreasing--it's not increasing either, thank goodness, but we are all praying for it to decrease.

She has a son who is devestated right now. My heart aches for him so badly. And lastly, she is only 42 yr. old. Please pray for my family and for God to provide another medical miracle! I know that miracles happen every day!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


Things are moving right along for us. I had my GDD test last week, which thankfully I passed. Things seem to be going great for my son. His heart rate is good and he kicks up a storm. His mommy--not so great.

First I am exhausted. I actually went to the doc today because I felt as though I may be on the verge of dehydration. I was slightly dehydrated, but Dr. R felt more so that my exhaustion was 1)welcoming me to the 3rd/final trimester, 2)sleep depreviation, 3)the ugly UTI that I have, and 4)low iron. My son also loves to snuggle up beside of my rib cages, so it makes breathing a little more difficult. So, I skipped school tonight and spent the evening catching up on all your blogs.

I am also a little on the "hormonal" side. And I swear, if K says that one more time to me, I may literally knock his teeth out. (Nah, but it really is getting on my nerves.) I cry at almost everything these days. The good, the bad, the really doesn't matter---all bring out the water works. So what if I'm hormonal...I know this.

Eleven weeks to go! When did this happen? (It's acually 10 weeks since I will be having a c-section around Feb 10). I am almost in the single digits--and may I say that I am counting down the days!

Thanksgiving was awesome. My mom and mother-in-law are the best cooks ever. I certainly ate my share--and everyone else's too. I'm stressed out about Christmas shopping. I have yet to buy my first gift! Shhh! Don't tell anyone. This is so UNLIKE me!!!!

I'm glad all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Thanks to those of you who checked in on me. I'm sorry for the delay.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Decisions made...

I have finally decided to breastfeed. And since I bought one of these, there really is no going back now. My cousin's wife had one to sell, so I snatched it up at a rather great deal. I'm a bit nervous, since I don't know the first thing about breast feeding, but I am going to give it a shot. And if I don't like it, I'm going to try to stick with it anyway to save $. Now, if it become too stressful, of course we move on to formula. However, I have thought about it in great detail over the past few months, and right now, I'm in.

We have a daycare provider lined up. Let me insert rant here ---> Although I am completely grateful to be having this child, I am a bit stressed out about how on earth we are going to be able to afford daycare costs in addition to all those other baby expenses. A third of my income will now go to pay childcare expenses alone. That is really going to put a dent in our money. My mom keeps telling me that once our son arrives that I am not going to want to leave him. I know she's right, but like the majority of other two income families, I don't really get that choice. My income is necessary to supplement K's or else we will lose our house. (Don't see the govt bailing us out?!?!)

We have also picked our son's name. We will name him Kade Mason K... However, to protect our privacy, from this point forward you will only see me refer to him as Baby K.

Lastly, we have began to construct his nursery. We are using Rainbow fish as our theme and it is quite cute, if I must say so myself. I can't wait to put the final touches in so I can post pics for you all...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

CHANGE is coming....

The election is over. I am a bit relieved and disheartened. I saw this on a church billboard and wanted to pass it on:

The CHANGE America needs is found in the BIBLE.

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

"My people" entails ALL people--Republicans and Democrats, All ethnic groups,ALL genders, ALL religions.

Will you join me in praying for our country?

Monday, October 27, 2008


You guys, I saw one of the best movies EVER this weekend. Here is the trailer for the movie. I hope you check it out!

Thursday, October 16, 2008


I don't have anything profound to say. Just wanted to share some random thoughts.

-I am tired of hearing about the election. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss regular TV commercials. I know this is an important election year, and I have every intention of voting. In fact, K and I have already requested absentee ballots so we don't have to stand in line. However, I'll be completely relieved when the election itself is over.

-It's only 42 days until Thanksgiving (70 days until Christmas). Does anyone else feel as if the holidays snuck up on them this year? I love both holidays, but I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I have so much to be thankful for.

-My to-do list is getting longer and longer. I have so much to do before baby K arrives. Unfortunately, every day when I get home all I want to do is lay down. We have to put up the border for his room, clean out the closet, register...will I get all of this done before his arrival--especially with the holiday's approaching?

-I had a doctor's appt on Tues. Everything is good. I'm still not drinking enough water. What's new? If you're not a water drinker (like me) how do you manage to get enough liquids to stay well hydrated? I've been having some light-headedness and tunnel vision which Dr. R says is related to my hydration. So as I type, I'm trying to manage to chug my water bottle. Yuck!

-I read this in my devotional this morning and I thought I would share it. It is from Breaking Free by Beth Moore:

"God is not a man who lies, or the son of man who changes His mind. Does He speak and not act, or promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19

"Can you think of a time when God proved unworthy of your confidence? If we think we've discovered unfaithfulness in God, I believe one of three things has happened: 1) we misinterpreted the promise, 2)we missed the answer, or 3) we gave up before God timed His response.

We must simply keep believeing Him, because unbelief is crippling, casting huge obstacles in the way of a victorious life. The steps we take forward with God, we take through faith. This doesn't mean He asks us to believe in our ability to exercise unwavering faith. He merely asks us to believe that He is able."

-Hope you each have a wonderful Thursday if you made it to the end of my randomness.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

God's Value of Money

I received this as an email. I wanted to share it because it has a very powerful message that we all should remember during the financial crisis that exists today.

God's Value of Money
By: Vonette Bright
"...Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's
life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
Luke 12:15

In these days of economic slowdowns and job layoffs, it's good to
remember the value God places on "money."

The poorest person in the world isn't the one who's gone bankrupt.
They're the one who is without God, and consequently without hope in
the world.

Some years ago, the editors of "The Wall Street Journal," made a
powerful statement. They pointed out:
"Money is the article which may be used as a universal passport to
everywhere, except heaven, and the universal provider of everything
except... happiness."

And, they're right!

You see, as Christians our happiness is centered on our personal
relationship with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Jesus said it best...
"A person's life doesn't consist of the things which he possesses."

Because, ultimately... The best things in life... AREN'T "things"!

Friday, October 3, 2008

First Place Goes to....

ME!!!!! I am awarding myself this blue ribbon for being the WORST BLOGGER EVER!!!!!

I'm sorry folks, things have been crazy busy for me the past few weeks. I am balancing work, school, voulenteering, family, friends, etc. I have been reading most of your blogs, but I haven't been posting or commenting. Honestly, I don't have very much to say that would interest you. My life is pretty predictable these days. My weekends are spent doing all the things I neglected to do during the week or catching up on my much needed rest.

I have surpassed the 20 week mark finally. In celebration of the 20th week, I bought something for the baby (a cute camo jacket, cargo pants, onsie, camo socks) and a card for K telling him he was half way to meeting his son. (This was a huge hit for him since he is an avid hunter. For any of you close to 20 weeks I'd recommend doing this for your daddy-to-be. You could tell K was really touched by the gesture.)

I am also beginning to really look pregnant. My friends, family, and co-workers are spoiling me rotten! The further along I get, the more random presents show up on my desk or at my house. My son has a sweet tooth, so people buy me candy often. I've also gotten a flag, picture frame, and teddy bear stating "It's a Boy!" I am so humbled by the genorisity I have received, and it's heartwarming to know my son will be loved by so many people.

That's about it for me. While you are here though, please go send these people some love:

Janna is in love!!!!
Go wish Casey luck! She is having an IUI tomorrow.
Give Courtney some encouragement. She's waiting to test again.
Hug Jill who had a snow-baby transfer a few days ago.
Alison is having a boy incase you haven't heard!
Mel is having a girl!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thankful Thursday....

I am thankful that we have made it another day with our "son." (I'm still getting use to the idea.) I am thankful that my health has remained great during this pregnancy and that I now feel movement from baby K quite often, which reassures me all is well.

I am thankful that school hasn't been too overwhelming so far. I am thankful that I didn't wait until the last minute to start my field service time (40 hrs in a public school by mid November) and that I already have completed about 11 hrs.

I am thankful for the student I am mentoring. He's a class clown and a bit immature for his age, but he makes me smile. He's been very receptive towards me so far, and that makes me feel as if I am in the right profession.

I am thankful that Saturday, our nephew will be 13!!! We only see him in the summer time because he lives in MT, but we love and miss him very much!

I am thankful that other people have stopped to find things to be thankful for today--you know who you are :) I am thankful for the cyber friends I have made and the prayers they have lifted for me. I am thankful that I can pray for them too knowing we serve the same Higher Power.

I am thankful that Autumn begins on Monday--yipee!

I am thankful I still have 97 shopping days until Christmas!

What are you thankful for?

Monday, September 15, 2008

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Thankful Thursday: Remembering 9/11/2001

Today is the national day of mourning. I hope we all pause and remember those who senselessly lost there lives 7 years ago today. I can still remember exactly where I was when I found out that the twin towers had been hit. I remember thinking that the beginning of WWIII was eminent.

I am thankful for our military men and women who sacrifice their lives to keep my country safe. Thank you for giving up your time with your families, for watching your children grow up by pictues while you are serving our country.

I am thankful to be an American.

I am thankful that nothing of this magnitude has happened following 9/11 on United States soil.

I am thankful for the outpouring of love we felt from other countries when this tragedy occurred.

I am thankful for everyone who stops and remembers those left behind seven years ago today.

Lest we Never Forget....

I am thankful that today is my husband's 32 bday. I don't deserve your love for me, but I am thankful for it each and every day of my life.
We find out the sex of the baby on Monday! It's going to be a long weekend!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Guess the Gender of Baby K

I added a poll to the right to vote for the gender of Baby K. If you are interested in playing along, please cast your vote.

Nothing new and exciting is going on pregnancy wise. I feel great. My next doctor's appointment is Sept 9 for a check up. I am hoping to talk Dr. R into taking a peak at the baby to see the gender, but I'm not sure he will. The office policy is usually 20 weeks, and at this appointment I will only be 17 weeks. He has been known to tell patients sooner, so I am hoping that I can be one of these few. We should know by Sept 30 if we should be picking out pink or blue.

School is going really well so far. I've been trying to get organized so I don't feel so overwhelmed. I have a school lined up to begin my 40 hour field service. I have also contacted a former teacher I had growing up, so I can interview her. I am usually the typical procrastinator, but I seem to have it all together right now (which I am hoping will carry over into my teaching career).

K and I have a slow upcoming weekend. He is getting excited about hunting season--I am excited to catch up on my soaps. We may venture out tonight to my former high school's football game. What are you doing this weekend?

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Busy, Busy, Busy....

Hello All! Just checking in for a quick update. Thanks Jill for checking in on me :)

The pregnancy is still going strong. My next doc's appt is Sept 9. It is just a routine check. I feel great--my morning sickness has pretty much vanished and my energy level seems to be up. On Sept 9, I am hoping I can schedule my next ultrasound so we can find out the gender. I can't wait to find out what we are having and make sure everything is still going okay.

I started back school last week, so I've been extra busy. I am taking a class that requires each student spend 40 hrs of field service time in a public school. This requirement must be completed by mid-Nov. I have been in contact with 2 area schools and I am hoping to get started on this task immediately while I am feeling so energetic. I am trying to set some short term goals so that I don't feel overwhelmed from the start. Things are going great right now.

Sorry it's been so long since I posted. I appreciate your thoughts! I hope everyone is doing okay. I will be checking in on all of you this week-weekend.


Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Sigh of Relief...Everything is Fine....

I just got out of my Doctor's appointment and all is well. I had this bright idea when I got up this morning that I wanted the baby to be awake during the ultrasound, so I drank some Coke. Well...apparently a little coke to me was a LOT of coke to baby. He/She would not stay still! I didn't think the tech was going to be able to get the proper measurements for the NT test. It was so cute and funny to see him/her bouncing around... I feel so much better.

The baby's heartrate was 158, lower than last ultrasound. We have a 1 in 5825 chances of having Down's Syndrome. Dr. Wonderul assured me that anything over 1 in 300 is considered good. I have to wait for 7-10 days for all the results. My doc's office will only call if there is a problem, so let's all hope that my phone doesn't ring anytime soon...I have only gained 2 lbs, but I can't fit into any of my pants. Getting them up is okay...getting them buttoned is impossible!

Asked Dr. R about my migraines and was once again reassured that Tylenol is perfectly safe for me to take. He did say that if I continued to be anxious about taking it, to take phenegen instead. Phenegen is actually safer to take than Tylenol, according to Dr. R. It would provide me the same relief during those horrible headaches. I will try that next!

The fostering meeting went fine last night. Our agency was very supportive of the fact that we want to wait until after delivery to host a child. What a relief!

Thank you all for your prayers and support over the past 24 hrs. I am so nervous about doctor appointments--with good reason. I really appreciate all of you helping to calm my nerves.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Upcoming NT ultrasound and Fostering....

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow for my NT ultrasound and belly check. I'm always very anxious when I have ultrasounds. It's great to take a peak at Baby K, but it also makes me very uneasy until I see that all is well in the womb. I'm not so much worried that my child will be at risk for genetic abnormalties. I know that it wouldn't matter to me either way. I'm already in love with him/her.

My last ultrasound was 3 weeks ago, because my wonderful doctor wanted for me to have peace of mind. Since then, I have had 3 migraines. I have always had a history of migraines, but they have really became more frequent the last few weeks. I was hurting so bad that I finally broke down and called the doc to see if there was anything at all I could do. I was assured that Ty.lenol is safe, so I've had to lean on that medicine for relief.

Before then, I was suffering through them as I begged God for mercy on my aching head. I would lock myself in a dark room, put an ice pack on my head, and will myself to go to sleep. Some would take days to go away, but finally they would pass.

The last few headaches, I have trusted my doctor's advice and taking Ty.lenol as sparingly as possible. I haven't taken more than 2000mg (4 tablets) per migraine. It does help to relieve some of the pain/pressure. But now, I am so paranoid that I didn't just fight through them and wait them out. I am still one week away from my 2nd trimester. Should I have waited?

Lastly, tonight is our home study for our fostering classes. K and I have spoken in great detail about our intentions of fostering. This is something we are still very interested in pursuing. However, I don't feel comfortable taking in a child until after I have delivered. I am still a high risk pregnancy even after I pass the 1st trimester. Medically speaking, I just think the stress could be harmful to me and the baby. We still want to finish what we have started and become licensed. Honestly, I don't want to start over next year with the training and certifications. On the other hand, I don't know how our agency will feel about us postponing a placement until early next spring either?

I am really nervouse about tomorrow and tonight. If you have a prayer to spare for us today and tomorrow morning, I would be so appreciative.

I will update tomorrow after my appointments.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Cardboard Testimony

I saw this on my friend Mindy's blog a few weeks ago. I think it's important that we are reminded that God still answers prayers every single day. Each one of these testimonies is an answered prayer. Maybe it was a family member who prayed for them. Maybe it was a friend. Maybe it was a stranger. Maybe it was their own prayer. It's important for us all to be reminded that God's grace is sufficient for all of us. Praying that many answered prayers are coming soon. I thank God now for all the answered prayers He will give us. I claim it for me, and I claim it for you....Please watch this video. It's about 8 minutes. The last testimony put tears in my eyes...

Thankful Thursday....

I am thankful to have made it another week.

I am thankful I was able to celebrate my grandpa's 70th birthday on Saturday. I love him so much and I hope the Lord allows me to enjoy his presence in my life for many more years to come.

I am thankful that tonight is my last training in the foster parenting program. We have first aid tonight, then all the in-class hours are finished!

I am thankful that K has been so sweet to me lately. He has gone out of his way to do nice things for me, especially since I haven't been feeling so well. He is on the verge of spoiling me :) I am thankful that he has been such a big help around the house. I am thankful that I am lucky enough for him to love me.

I am thankful that my Statistic's class is over! I look forward to staring my teaching ciriculum later this month.

I am thankful that some cooler weather is suppose to be heading our way. I love the summer--but I am finding it much harder to breath this year.

I am thankful for all of you!

Friday, July 25, 2008



This has been a stressful week. I think we may have finally gotten our identity theft straightened out. We closed my acct and opened a new acct. I've changed every single password both K and I own. I'm really trying to hate the sin and not the sinner, but I've been so upset with these people! You know, I don't want to get up and go to work every day either (who does, right?), but I do it.... How dare you steal from me...???

Anyway, I am over it and I think we have resolved the problem. Thank goodness for identity theft insurance too!

Go give these folks some support:
Congratulate Andrea on her new home purchase.
Courtney is feeling a bit under the weather.
Please remember Jen & Carter. They are going through a really rough time.
Give Kristen a hug.
Wish Mandy luck. She had an IUI yesterday.
Keep your fingers crossed for Searching as she awaits her job interview results.
Congratulate In Search of Morning Sickness on reaching her 2nd trimester.
Take a peak at Mel's nugget.
Welcome little Andrew to Chris' family.
Congratulate Janna on getting her applications finished and graduating from the crutches!

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Still good news...updated with picture

We had our 2nd ultrasound today. The little one was awake and kicking his/her feet. It was very sweet. The heart rate is 178. I'll put up a pic tonight of the ultrasound.

Thank you all for your prayers today!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

What a crazy day.....!

We have a newbie to the IF community. Please all stop by Melinda's blog and welcome her with open arms, as I know you all will.

Secondly, I had my identity stolen last night!!! All in all, there are $1973.50 worth of unauthorized transactions on my account. Lucky for me, K manages the bank we use, so he has placed a hold on my account, but this is still very upsetting!!!! I feel so completely violated!

Lastly, tonight we have our CPR class for our fostering license. I was notified that I have to repeat my fingerprints. (The technician said I have the smallest fingers she has ever seen, and that the FBI probably thought she was printing a child.). Then, tomorrow we have our 2nd viability ultrasound. To say I am nervous would be an understatement, so I would appreciate any prayers and well wishes you could throw our way until then.

Hope you are all having a great day (better than me!)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


So, I have finally found enough courage to add my ticker to this page. I have made it to a milestone, 9 weeks. With my last two pregnancies, I never made it this far. That is a bit relieving, but I still have moments where the future seems so uncertain. I have been meditating on God's word regarding my doubt. I found this bible verse today, and it was as if God Himself pointed it out to me.
It is Jeremiah 29:11
I know the plans I have for you....plans for your welfare, not disaster, to give you
a future and a hope.
Per Be.th Moo.re's excerpt from today's entry of her book Breaking Free Day by Day:
We often see ourselves as having such fragile, breakable souls. We live in fear of that which we are certain and convinced we cannot survive. But as children of God we are only as fragile as our unwillingness to turn and hide our face in Him. Our pride alone is fragile. Once it shell is broken and our hearts are laid bare, we can then begin to sense the caress of God's tender care.
Wow! That spoke wonders to me heart. There is another verse that a friend shared with me about hope.
It is Romans 15:13
Now the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and PEACE in BELIEVING, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
Praying for us all to hide our face in Him during times that we feel fragile. Praying that we are filled with Hope and Peace in Believing that God is in control.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Some things I've learned....

I went in for my OB work up today. Dr. R said that everything is going just as it should. I just love him--thanks Deidre! (Deidre and I go to the same church and she encouraged me to get a 2nd opinion from my last practice. I had no idea that I was picking her doctor out of the phonebook, but I am so glad he had a biggest ad in the yellow pages.)

Dr. R asked when my next ultrasound was scheduled and I told him Aug 13. He said that seemed a bit long to wait. He confided in me that he and his wife have 3 children, but have had 4 miscarriages along the way. He said he was privileged to be able to have an ultrasound anytime he wanted it--he owned the machine. So, he said he was bringing me back in before that...How about 2 weeks---July 23! That is so awesome. I will be 10 weeks, then I get to have another one at 13 weeks. I just love it!!!!!!! His philosophy is, "he knows I'm stressed out---really stressed after have subsequent losses and years of IF, so he is willing to anything he can to help alleviate that."

Other than that, I was told to supplement my diet with tums 3-4 times per day for the calcium. He also said I needed to be drinking 14-16 glasses of water per day.

Some things I've determined:

  • I can't concentrate on anything. I feel a bit frazzled all the time now. I am having a really hard time staying on task at anything I do.
  • I think that Wipeout is my newest favorite TV show....EVER. Did you catch last night's episode? (Hilarious!)
  • There is NOOOOO way I can drink 14-16 glasses of water per day as recommended by my doctor.
  • My comfort food of choice is currently loaded baked potatoes.
  • My dreams are uncontrollable these days. Very weird, random stuff that I would never think of.

Hope you are all having a great week!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Back from the beach....

We are now home (sigh!). I had a fabulous time at the beach with my in-laws. I think I've mentioned before how fortunate I am to have married into such a wonderful family. We spent most of our time out on the beach so the boys--D and A--could swim in the ocean. We laughed so many times this week at how silly these boys can be. For instance, they invented this game called "Save yourself or the ball." They would wait until a huge wave was about to start and throw it at each other just as the wave peaked...You could either go for the ball and take a wave to the face or save yourself and miss the ball... Well, let's just say they each took a brutal beating from the ocean and even convinced my hubby, K, and his brother, N, to play. Very funny stuff....

I am back at work in the real world now. I'm playing catch up on my statistic's class and staying very busy.

P mentioned below, feel free to skip.

I feel okay so far. I am 8 weeks today. I haven't really had any morning sickness other than the occasional nausea if I let my stomach get too empty. I feel really nauseous when my feet hit the floor each morning and I have developed an ugly gag reflex. I have had two really bad headaches in the past two weeks, probably from the hormone changes. Since I am a migraine sufferer, I've had to just tough it out. I have been authorized to take Tylenol, but I don't want to do anything at all to risk this baby's health. So....I am coping with ice packs and dark rooms.

I'm a little sluggish, but I think that is from exhaustion from traveling. I have a dr. appt in the morning for my OB work up and to meet with the finance people. I am eager to see if my iron may be a tad on the low side. On the other hand, I have been eating like a horse!

Just wanted to say hello and tell you all that I am still praying for you.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

A day late, but here are the pics....

I was suppose to post these pics last night, but didn't get around to it. These are the two clearest pics that I was given. This is my favorite, the heartbeating....

This pic, if you look just left of the arrow, you will see where the baby's head is growing. And, what's really awesome, if you look close enough you can see where the arms are already starting to bud.
We are leaving to go to the beach this afternoon with K's family. We are returning on Sunday. Most of our family is already there, but K, me, and his dad are leaving at 5pm. I wish you all a happy and safe 4th of July, safe travels and blessings.

Monday, June 30, 2008

We have a heartbeat! Thank you God!

I just got in from my ultrasound, and we have a heartbeat! The baby's heart was beating 146 beats per minute and was measuring 6w4d. (According to my last cycle, I should be 6w6d.) The tech said this is exactly where the baby should be right now. I am just so unbelievably thankful! The ultra sound tech zoomed in so we could hear the heart beating, and it was the most beautiful sound I think I've ever heard. I am so thankful for all of your prayers and well wishes! I will post pics of the ultra sound later tonight. Due date according to ultra sound is Feb 19, 2009.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful to have made it another day. (One day at a time....)

I am thankful that my statistic's teacher curved our mid-terms by 10 points! Yippee!! That test was so difficult, so I'll take any points she wants to give us!

I am thankful that next week we will be at the beach with all of K's immediate family. Our nephew who is visiting from MT is so excited that we all are going. I can't wait to relax and spend time making new memories with my family. I really am blessed to have married into such a wonderful family.

(Ok, this is kind of cheesy, but...) I'm thankful that I tuned in to watch WIPEOUT on ABC Tuesday night. I laughed until my sides hurt! It felt so good to be laughing that hard at silly stuff. You guys should really tune in next week. Hilarious!

I'm thankful that Chris has been potentially matched with birthparents. I'm thankful Glenna is home safe with her new son, Isaiah.

I'm thankful that our Foster training is complete. We only have CPR, First-Aid, and our Home-study to go. (Casey asked if we still intended to pursue fostering since our recent announcement, and I have to say yes. This is something K and I still feel led to do.)

I'm thankful that it's such a beautiful day!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Thanks Ladies!

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who offered your congratulations and prayers. It means so much to me to know you all are here to offer support in good times and bad. I can't put into words what you all (and this blog) have come to mean to me. K and I have decided to only tell a handful of people (parents, siblings, close friends) with the request that they respect our privacy. Basically, we told those people who we know have a strong prayer life and relationship with the Lord. I am humbled to know that I am an answered prayer that so many people had prayed for me. I believe that they prayed when I just couldn't pray about this anymore. I am requesting that those same people continue to pray for the health of this child.

I'll let you all in on something...this has sort of calmed my anxiety. In the Bible, Hannah prayed to the Lord to give her a child under the terms that once God gave her a child, she would give him back to the Lord. This is why so many young families have baby dedications in church services. Well, once I found out I was pregnant, I felt immediately as if I should give the child back to the Lord from within my womb. It doesn't make me a saint, but it just felt appropriate. So, I am trying not to worry about what the next 9 months entails (although this feeling comes and goes). I know this child already belongs to God, and he will enable me to protect and provide for it, as long as it's within His will for our lives.

I pledge to pray for you all in hopes that you too will be sharing good news with the blogging world. I sent an email to a friend which said, "I was told I would have to use donor eggs to get pregnant. Now, I know if God can work a miracle with my eggs, He can do just as mighty things to other eggs and sperm." I will continually pray for God to hear our prayers until they break through Heaven like a flood.

I love you all.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Can you all keep a secret?

I have been impatiently waiting to tell you all.....after 5 years of ttc....and 2 miscarriages....I am currently 6weeks pregnant. My projected due date: Feb 17, 2009.

This came as a total surprise to me and K. I've known for about 2 weeks. It's been so hard not to shout this from the roof tops. I want to be so very excited--but history speaks loudly, and I am so very scared.

I called my doc on June 12 and told him of my positive test. He wanted me to come in immediately. I saw the nurse who loaded me down with vitamins, magazines, pamphlets... At one point, I had to just say..."I really appreciate you giving me all this stuff, but I'm just not ready to be reading any pregnancy magazines." She understood. I didn't get to see the doc, but he prescribed progesterone suppositories to be taken at night until I am 12 weeks.

I actually had to go back to the doc last week because I developed a UTI. This time, I was able to see Dr. R himself. He asked me how I felt. I explained I was cautiously over the moon. He then asked me if I had any ultrasounds scheduled. I told him the nurse set my first two appointments (July 9th for an OB workup; Aug 13 ultrasound--I would be 13 weeks). He asked how I felt about that, and I told him I was really nervous of another blighted ovum. So, he is bringing me in early for a vitality ultrasound.

This is set for Monday, June 30. Please, please, please....don't stop praying for me now. I want so much to believe that this time will be different. I know that God already knows the outcome. Each morning, I say to myself, "Elaine, we just have to make it though today...." I am trying not to worry about the future, but as you can tell, my anxiety is at a peak.

We finished up our foster parent training this past weekend. We still have our home study to do, and CPR/First Aid.

To all my sweet friends....I've felt defeated more times than I could count on this IF journey. I learn every day that the Lord still answers prayers. Whatever happens, we will thank him for giving us the time we have had to love this little one whom we've never met.

What I would give to meet this little one.... I am high risk, and I have been ordered by Dr. R to abstain from sex until 8-10 weeks. He wants to see the baby's heart beat first. So, please, please pray for a healthy baby next Monday....with a good, strong heart beat.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Happy Monday!

I hope you are all doing well. I had an extremely busy week last week. K and I are almost finished with our fostering training. We actually only have 2 classes left! The past 3 weeks have passed so quickly!

I have a midterm at school on Wednesday for my statistics class. I am looking forward to kissing this class goodbye, and I am relieved that it is half-way over! On the other hand, I can't wait for my Education program to start this fall! I love school---it's such a good distraction for me.

There are so many things going on right now, but I will save for another post. I will appreciate your continued prayers.

Praying for you all!

Monday, June 9, 2008


Hello all! I must say first and foremost, I miss you all so much! I have been reading your posts and commenting here and there. Things are going full speed ahead for me at the moment, so if you feel neglected or forgotten, you certainly aren't.


School: I am doing better at my statistic's class right now. I am actually about a week ahead of schedule, so that has really helped take a load off my shoulders.

Beach: The girls beach trip was so much fun. I can't wait to do that again sometime in the near future. One thing happened though that no one expected. One of the girl's who went with us received a call early last Saturday that her house had caught fire the night before. She was actually allowing someone to house sit for her while at the beach. Everyone made it out safe, pets included, but she lost almost everything. The only clothes she currently has is the one's she took with her to the beach. We are all scrambling around like crazy trying to help anyway that we can, but she is very upset. Please remember her in your prayers. I don't think she's a Christian, but I am not sure. I couldn't imagine handling something like that without the grace God provides during tragedy.

Fostering: We have now completed 1/3 of our training. K and I both have been fingerprinted and completed our physicals. This week, we have 2 classes (Meeting Developmental Needs-Discipline & Strengthening/Continuing Family Relationships). I can't believe the things I have learned so far about foster children, myself, my husband. I continue to believe that this is God's plan for our lives, but request your continued prayers. I know that if/when a child is placed in our care that it will be a huge transition for everyone involved.

Please be patient as I am posting less often right now. On top of all this other stuff we have going on, our nephew will be here tomorrow. He lives in MT with his mother. We only get to see him once per year (in the summer). So, we have to pack into 6 weeks what we give our other niece/nephews in an entire year. Not a lot of down time for us right now...and I feel a little sleep deprived!!!! (That is my favorite hobby....and I am finding less and less time to enjoy it these days.)

Love and prayers for you all!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Peeking in....

I've been the epiphany of a busy bee lately. First, my on-line class has began. I am officially a student--yippee! I am taking statistics, and if I can, I'd like to go ahead and insert a vent here: I had forgotten how HARD that is! I've never taken an on-line class because, frankly I am not too disciplined to make myself study on my own schedule. However, I can honestly say, I've spent so much time on this class already and I am only starting the second week!
Fostering update: I've taken my physical and went this morning for my TB shot. I have to go back on Thursday to have the TB shot looked at, then I can check that off of the million things I have left to do for this program. K has his physical next week. Our training sessions begin June 3 and will last until June 21. We have to go to class every Tues/Thur night and all day on Saturday for 3 weeks. (So, I've been trying to work ahead in my Statistics class so I am not so overwhelmed in June.)
Birth mother update: If you are wondering what I am speaking of, you can read this entry. The birth mother has had our attorney information for 2 1/2 weeks now, and she still hasn't called. She may have changed her mind, which she has every right to do. However, I hope and pray she calls soon to let me know one way or the other. If we will be taking in her baby, we need to be getting ready for that transition. She's due in June...and June is almost here!!!!
This weekend: I am going on a long awaited girls trip to the Beach. We have 13 girls going, some of which I don't really know, but I am looking forward to getting to know better. I've never gone on an all girls trip, but I am really looking forward to it. It will be short lived, but I just love the beach and will use any excuse I can to go there. Not to mention, my friends have been so supportive of me and this journey. I can't wait to get in some girl-time. I was presently surprised when K said I could go, because we haven't ever been away from each other for things like this. Sure, he's had business trips and such, but he's never gone on a guy trip.
I think that's about it for now. I was just peeking in to give you all an update and wish you all a great week!!!!!

Friday, May 16, 2008


I sort of kind of made a boo-boo.... I "tried" to change the layout of my page and in doing so lost all of the favorite blogs I visit. Please leave me a comment here so I can link back to all of you wonderful people if you don't see your name listed on my blogroll.


It's a go. We are in for the long haul. I am so excited! Orientation lasted about 2 hrs last night. We were told what we could expect from the agency, as well as what was to be expected of us. Our first training session begins June 3. We will have training on Tues/Thurs nights and Saturday all day. We will complete our last training June 21.

The entire process from start to finish is about 4 months. You have to have home studies, fire inspections, physicals, criminal background checks, fingerprinting, training in CPR/First Aid, Medication administration, and blood born pathogens. Then you must wait until a child comes along with the specific needs that you are most suited to foster.

I am really excited about the agency we chose. They provide so much emotional support to their families. The kids they care for also get some special privileges that some other agencies may or may not do.

Overall, I can't wait to get it started. I feel so excited...you would have thought I just saw 2 pink lines! That would be nice too, but this feels right for us at this time.

My physical is set for May 22. That will be my first check mark!

Thank you for your prayer support during this time. We will be busy (I start back school too), but it will be all worth it in the end!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thankful Thursday

I am so grateful for each of you who offered me encouragement to yesterday's post. The five year mark is approaching, and that has really been a hard milestone to swallow. I appreciate each of your kind words. So, today, I am thankful, so very thankful for all of you.

I am thankful that I didn't leave Dr. R's office in tears yesterday. Last time, he was out of the office and the new dr. was very insensitive. Dr. R. came right in and said, "I told you, I don't want to see you unless your pregnant...." I just love him. He has the optimism I need, and I appreciate his honesty with me. For now, same protocol....Femera cd 3-7, Estrogen cream cd 3-7, Mucinex cd 10-17, and lots and lots of "quality" time with K. (Which K definitely appreciates :)

I am thankful for Jen, who shared this scripture with me yesterday... It was very encouraging to me, and I thought I would pass it on to you.

James 1:12 (NIV)

God Blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

And after reading that, I read this:

...Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything. If you need wisdom--if you want to know what God wants you to do--ask Him, and He will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. But when you ask Him, be sure that you really expect Him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

James 2-6 (NIV)

I am thankful that tonight is our first fostering class. (I will try to update later tonight or tomorrow.)

I am thankful for so many things today...but mostly that my mood seems better and that changes my outlook on almost everything.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

It's time I fessed up....

I skipped out on church services on Sunday. I'm not proud of that fact. Even that afternoon as the rain poured down, I felt as if God was crying with me...about me....for me when I didn't have any energy left to cry. Instead, I stayed in bed in the confinement of my safe haven, and ignored that this day was to celebrate those who give life... After all, I am not to be included in this category, and I am finally coming to terms with that I may never be. Why can't they change it to "women's day" to make it not hurt so much? The lines are clearly defined that this is to celebrate "mother's". I have two precious babies in Heaven. So, does that make me a mother? Not to anyone who looks at me hear on Earth. Except me. That's a sour attitude, I know. I've been like this for about a week and have finally been taking my anxiety meds again. I hope this soon passes, but after 5 years I think IF has finally taken it's toll on me. I feel completely defeated at this point.

On another note, AF was set to appear on Saturday and never showed her ugly face. I spent most of Sunday praying, Lord, please not let her come to today...any day but today. So, she came Monday. (See Ladies, the Lord still answers prayers.) Today I have an appt with Dr. R. I'm completely clueless as to what he will want to do next. This was our 4th failed month on oral meds so he may stop those completely.

We also start our first foster parenting classes tomorrow. I am excited, but this state of mind has sort of ruined that to me. It's a new venture, a road we haven't traveled before. For that I am deeply grateful and excited. It's also sort of closure on what were my hopes of having biological children. For that, I am deeply sad.

How have you kept IF from affecting your relationship with the Lord? How do I get back there?

Monday, May 12, 2008

Those Who Make My Day....

There is an award being passed around. I feel completely honored to have received this recognition from Alison. What a humbling way to feel like your words of encouragement are welcomed and appreciated. I want to pass on the honor to the blogs that inspire and encourage me. These women are truly remarkable, and I know that God has had a hand in our paths crossing via the world wide web. All of you are an important part of this IF journey for me. You provide healing, comfort, and happiness to my sometimes "empty" heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Alison, I must return the favor. You are such a sweet friend to me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your kind words and encouragement on my posts. You have welcomed me with open arms into the blogging community. I know that you will make the most awesome mother one day, because you are the greatest friend anyone could ask for.

Deidre, you introduced me to blogging. You lead me to a verse in God's word (Phil 4:11) that has held me together more times than I can count. You are an example of answered prayer, my prayer, and that gives me comfort. I know that I can depend on you (and Pam) for Godly guidance and prayers when I need them. Thank you for being such a special person to me. Thank you for always praying for me. Thank you mostly for being such a Godly example for me.

Jill and Andrea, your posts on Mother's Day were very inspiring to me. I know that God is using you and your blogs to minister to broken hearts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts publiclly with us.

Rebecca, you and I met on another blog. I am so glad you followed me over to this site. I am so excited that you are now expecting your second son. You and I journeyed this dreaded road together for months. Although our roads have now parted and our lives have taken different directions, I couldn't be more grateful to call you my friend.
Janna, Chris, Glenna, and Jen...all of my fellow adoption (in some sort of form) buddies. You were all inspiring to us to proceed forward with fostering children. We hope that fostering leads us to a child that God has hand picked to be placed permanently in our family. I will be following each of your journey's closely over the next few months and I will probably have boo-coos of questions for you all. You have made me truly realize that being a good mother isn't composed of having the same DNA.

I could go on and on. You all are so very special to me. These blogs are usually the one's I check first. You all make my day in your own unique way. I am so thankful that I can share my inner most thoughts and heartaches with you precious people and know that no judgement is given. I am thankful to know that I have you to pray for me, and that I too can pray for you. I am so very thankful to call you all friends....we are our own tight knit family in a way.

I love you all very much!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

So much to do....so little time.

Hello all.

I have so much going on right now. Although tax season has came and gone, it seems that a million other things have taken it's place. I feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment with life in general. So, sorry for my absence friends. On another note, I have so much to tell...

First off, my classes start next week. Yay! I can not wait to make this career change. I really believe as if teaching will be a good fit for me and my personal goals. K is also getting his Master's right now, so things have been very busy around our home.

Secondly, we have decided to become foster parents. I haven't shared this with you before, because we have talked about it on several occasions, and never moved forward with it. However, I am happy to report that as of yesterday, we have officially filled out the application and sent it in. We have our first class 05/15/2008. At that time, I will know much more to pass on. Once we receive a child, I may have to postpone going back to school or cut back on my schedule. That's a sacrifice I am prepared to make when I have to cross that bridge.

Thirdly, we have been "sort of" approached about possibly adopting a newborn baby that is due to make his grand appearance in June. Yes, HIS. It's a very long story, but basically someone I know was actually approached by this birthmother about adopting her baby. My friend told this mother, she just couldn't. She's a grandmother now, and she just felt too old to take on the responsibility of a newborn. However, she made mention of us. Now, the birthmother (BM) is considering letting us adopt her son. The BM wants everything to be anonymous, so she has our attorney's information. Now, we wait for her to call. If she does....

I don't want to become emotionally involved in all of this, because it still sounds a bit too good to be true. I would like nothing more than to take this baby, but I am just praying that God will help me contain my feelings until things are more certain. She could change her mind, and she has that right.

Please keep us in your prayers, as the future seems so uncertain for us at this time.


Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Coping with Mother's Day and Father's Day

I found this article on the RESOLVE website. I think this is a tough time for all of us right now. Every year, around Mother's Day, I feel so depressed and numb. I lose all sense of hope, happiness, and faith I have about having my own children. I don't feel like getting out of bed each morning, I don't feel like worshipping God. I don't feel any other way, but broken.

As these holiday's pass, I feel better, but getting through them is the most difficult thing I do each year. I know I'm not alone, even though it may feel as if I am. Most of you know how difficult these days are for me, because they are also difficult days for you. So, let us lift up one another in prayer for strength, guidance, and renewed faith. Maybe next year, they won' t be so hard for us. I hope this helps, dear friends.

Coping with Mother's Day and Father's Day

It can be particularly difficult to face the many emotional issues raised by infertility at a time when everyone is celebrating motherhood and fatherhood. RESOLVE urges men, women and couples who are experiencing infertility to plan ahead for Mother's Day and Father's Day, acknowledge their feelings and prepare themselves emotionally to handle questions and comments from family and friends.
RESOLVE suggests the following:

Take a Proactive Stance
Think ahead about the day and plan a strategy in advance. Don't wait until the holiday is upon you to make plans.

Focus on Your Parents/Grandparents or Special Parental Figure
Make this a special time for them. If a family gathering is planned and it will be pleasant for you, go and enjoy. But, if lots of children or pregnant relatives will be present, and you know this will be upsetting, consider other possibilities. You might plan to see your mother/father at another time during the weekend.

Recognize Potential Painful Situations
Restaurants, for example, may be a source of discomfort. They may ask if you are a mother or a father in order to give you a complimentary item. Be prepared for this question so you are not taken off-guard.

Consider Joining a Support Group
A support group will help you feel less isolated, empower you with knowledge and validate your emotional response to the life crisis of infertility. Visit the RESOLVE Calendar of Events to find a support group in your area.

Speak to Your Minister or Rabbi
Before a religious service, talk with your clergyperson (or write a letter) and educate him/her about the experience of infertility. Perhaps he/she would be willing to say a prayer or offer words of support for those struggling with this crisis.

Plan an Enjoyable Day Together
It is important to work as a couple during these difficult days. Consider tuning out the holiday emphasis entirely and make it an opportunity for a fun day together plan a day outdoors to go hiking, bicycling, or walking on a beach. See that movie you've wanted to see or create a special meal.

For more information:
Call a local RESOLVE HelpLine
Whenever you feel overwhelmed by the holidays, whenever you need someone to talk to, our peer counselors will be happy to listen and to offer RESOLVE resources. Give us a call. You are not alone! Mother's Day/Father's Day chat

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Thankful Thursday

Well, it's been so long since I posted Thankful Thursdays, so I'll start by saying, I'm thankful that I am taking time out today to be thankful.

I am thankful that Amanda received her BFP and that her beta is rising so quickly. I am thankful that others have made it to milestone marks in their pregnancies (Farrah, Sadie, LIW, and Rebecca). You ladies give us the hope that AF sometimes destroys for us.

I am thankful that those who need comforting can find it among you faithful ladies.

I am thankful that I had the resources to pay off a loan last week. I am thankful that the tax incentive check that we should get (Thank you Uncle Sam) will be able to be deposited into our savings account.

I am thankful that I am finally over whatever "funk" I was in at the beginning of the week. (Did I mention that the build up of femara in my bloodstream is driving me bananas!)

I am thankful that I have a desire to eat healthier and take better care of my body right now than I have felt in years.

I am thankful for those of you who haven't left my blog while I was MIA during tax season.

I am thankful that I can express things here that I can't say to anyone else.

Have a blessed day!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

...round 4 with new doc...

I had one of those days yesterday...you know, one of those cry at anything that goes slightly wrong days. Maybe it's the femara that is building up in my system...maybe it's the lack of sleep from the hot flashes (from the femara building up in my system)...or maybe it's just plain ol' frustration!

My doc was on vacation so I had to see another doctor. This doc wasn't very helpful...she kept telling me repeatedly that next time I needed to request to be seen by Dr. R. Hello?? Didn't I do that? I think it's because you have to be checked while AF is visiting, and like I really like sharing that with anybody...but I finally said..."Look, I can't help that I started my period whild Dr. R is on vacation. Do you think I really want to be sitting here either??" And the tears just started flowing... I think I made the new doc feel bad...if so...good. She needs to be more sensitive to IF patients needs than what she showed me yesterday.

Anyway, I left, new prescription in hand for another month of femara... So, off we go. I dropped the prescription off at the nearest pharmacy...told them I would be back in an hour to pick it up. Do you know, ladies, that I went back 4 hrs later and it still wasn't ready... So, I may of lost it...just a little. Poor guy working there. Anyway, I made it known that I wasn't happy that I gave them an extra 3 hours and it still wasn't ready. He said, "Mam, sometimes we get behind..." I said, "4 hours behind...??? You've got to be kidding me." I kind of feel like I need to stop and apologize to him today. It wasn't his fault...and I took out my day on him. :( Regardless, I got my prescription.

Came home to a hole in the rug of our living room. My sweet fur-son, Karter, decided to spring that one on me... how nice of him? I reprimanded him...and just sat down and cried for a while. What a crappy day!?!

On a brighter side, I registered for classes yesterday. I could only get into one class that I needed, but I am glad that I got in...even though it is an Internet course. I am officially on my way to become a teacher--the 2nd best job in the world...being a mom, of course is the best.
So, I am looking forward to the distraction.

I have something else going on right now. I promise to share later. Until then, I would appreciate your prayers for me and K.

Have a great week!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

2 posts in one day....any thoughts on this?

Just wondering what some of my fellow IF'ers thoughts are on this:

Read this article.

I know that this is going to be a touchy topic, so let me just say this: Everyone has the right to choose their own sexual orientation (or gender) for that matter. That's what I love about this country. However, do I believe it's right for me? No. And I will just leave my opinion at that.

Even some "men" are more fertile than we are. Just sucks! How on earth did this happen?

Thoughts welcomed!

Hello All!

Hey Ladies,

Geez, has it really been two weeks since I last posted? Honestly, I haven't really had that much to say. My cycle is moving right along. Month #2 on Femera. So, no new news on the IF front.

Mexico was fabulous! I thoroughly enjoyed laying by the pool reading. I finished the 11th book of the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich. (Ladies, I absolutely love this author. She is hilarious!!!!) One day, I actually took 2 naps. Funny how when I came back to the States, I felt like I need another vacation--especially after all the sleep I had!! The weather was gorgeous the first three days. Our last day, it was very windy so the ocean was red flagged and our snorkling trip was cancelled.

I will say, I definitely missed the food here. I love Mexican food, but Mexico's version of Mexican is nothing like we have here in NC. I couldn't wait to get some Southern food when we got home. (I made K stop at McD.onald's on the way home from the airport...You would have thought we hadn't eaten in days if you would of seen us chowing down on our food!)

Anyway, I hope all of you are doing well!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Back to the drawing board...

The Femera didn't work. I had the dreaded appearance of AF yesterday, but do admit, if she was coming to visit, I am glad it was this weekend. Next weekend we will be in Mexico. I am so excited to just get away from all this and relax on the beach somewhere. I have a call in at the doctor's office to see where we go from here. Last month, Dr. R was really disappointed to be treating me for infertility again. I tried to tell him I was the epiphany of the "hard to treat patient." I think he thought I was exaggerating... If nothing is wrong with us, why on earth are we still empty handed???? 5 years ladies.... I'm in a bit of a mood today, so I'll just leave this post with that!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

50th post...time has flown by!

Hello Cyber-friends!

I've been a little MIA the last 2 weeks. Things have been extremely hectic at work/home! I've been trying to read and comment as time is available. I'm sorry if you have felt neglected :)

Wow...50 posts! I can't believe I've had this much to say! Nothing is really going on in the infertility front right now. I took Femera this cycle days 3-7, estrogen cream suppositories cyle days 10-17...so here we sit waiting for 8 more days.

K and I decided to go on Vacation for a few days at Easter. We wouldn't have to use so much vacation time since it's a holiday week, and it would really do us some good to get away from everything and just relax...so we just booked our trip, and I am so dang excited!

In honor of my 50th post I thought I'd give you a list of 50 things about me/my life/hobbies/likes/dislikes.

1. I start back school in August 2008 to become a Middle Grades Math/Science teacher.
2. I am currently waiting to see if I was accepted into the Appalachian State University cohort for #1 and should find out this week.
3. I have two fur babies: Kooper and Karter
4. I have worked at the same company for over 10 years.
5. I love to watch Reality TV.
6. Sushi is one of my favorite foods.
7. I still have the same best friend that I had in Elementary School.
8. My parents are still married (so is K's).
9. I have one older sister.
10. I hate when people pull out in front of me while driving.
11. I kinda/sorta scrapbook from time to time.
12. As I've grown older, I've learned that some things just aren't worth fighting over.
13. As I've grown older, I've learned that family is the most important thing in life.
14. I listen to all kinds of music, but am most fond of country.
15. I hate matching socks while doing laundry (and usually leave them until last).
16. I tend to be a procrastinator.
17. I am currently trying to read the bible all the way through. I have tried this many times before, but have made it the farthest (Numbers 21) on this try. (I'd appreciate your prayers on this one)
18. I like to text message.
19. My favorite band is Matchbox Twenty.
20. I dislike green peppers on pizza.
21. I am obsessed with my check book balancing down to the penny.
22. I carry hand sanitizer with me everywhere I go.
23. My closet is messy, but the rest of our home is always kept clean.
24. I can't see anything without my contacts in!
25. Eating anything with vinegar (ketchup, Italian dressing, BBQ sauce, salt & vinegar chips) makes my face feel flushed.
26. I have inherited #25 from my father.
27. I don't eat very healthy most of the time.
28. My favorite fruit is fresh pineapple.
29. I am an A*von representative.
30. My choice of soda is Cherry Coke (but I love Sweet Tea).
31. I don't have any tattoos.
32. I love spoiling my niece and many nephews.
33. I've only traveled outside the US once (Dominican Republic last fall).
34. I'm another spoiled American.
35. I'm not very materialistic and rarely buy anything that isn't on sale.
36. I sleep on my left side.
37. I am a suicide survivor (from back in high school).
38. I have a passion to work with kids who are around the same age that life became a roller coaster for me.
39. I have only given my testimony 2 times (once publicly to the youth at our church, and the 2nd over email).
40. I tend to be a people pleaser just to keep things peaceful.
41. Lately, I have pushed God to the back burner and am currently trying to find my way back to the fire I once had.
42. I only eat Chinese/Japanese food when it's really cold outside.
43. I am dreading the time change this weekend because I am not a morning person.
44. I am handling infertility the best I have ever handled it (if you want to say "best" to a circumstance like this) right now. It's just not as important as it once was.
45. I really need to clean my car inside/out.
46. I am tired of hearing about the election.
47. I am a Young and the Restless junkie (even though lately it has been boring!)
48. I need to feel important to the people I love.
49. I have an incredible spring fever!
50. Love taking naps at every opportunity I have a chance to take one!

There you have it folks. 50 Random things about me that I know you just were dying to find out. If you stuck it out through all of them, wow...

I hope you all have a blessed day!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Blog roll updated

Hello Ladies.

I just updated my blog roll. If you read my blog and don't see your name, please let me know. I would love to add you to my roll call and check in on you to see how things are going. I love you guys!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Doc. appt update

Good Morning Ladies,

Just wanted to give a brief update. AF did arrive right on time Saturday. Yesterday, I had to go back to Dr. R. He has switched me from Clomid to Femara. I've taken this med once before at my old doc's office. Dr. R said that my progesterone is really elevated, hence the reason he gave me estrogen suppositories last month. He said that doc's usually get dancing happy when progesterone is above 15. Mine was 85 on cd21 last month. He said that Femara would be a better drug for me because of the progesterone elevataion. He also switched me from the estrogen pill to an estrogen cream suppository.

Dr. R told me he really didn't think he would be seeing me again for IF treatment. When I told him, "oh, it's okay..." he was the one who was aggravated that the Clomid didn't work. (Now that's a welcomed change of emotion.) So, I left his office with the instructions to take the Femara cd 3-7, use Mucinex/Robitussin on cd 10-17, using ovulation predictors this month, and "spend" lots of time with K. Dr. R is on a mission to get us pregnant, and by george, that's where we want to be!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

More blah, blah, blah

I wish I had news to report, but so far nothing-nadda-zippo news on the IF front. I did tempt fate and POAS this morning and it was negative, cd 27. I kind of knew it would be. I don't feel any differently, and I have zero symptoms to analyze over. My dear friend, Alison, wrote this post yesterday, and I felt like it could have been written by me. It just sucks.

K and I made a recent "splurge" purchase. This is what we got. It's not something we needed, but something I really wanted. In fact, we've had it over a week and I used it for the first time yesterday. I didn't want to take any "risks" incase the Super C was successful. So, for an entire week, I watched K use this while I sat back and watched.

Yesterday, I finally gave in. I broke down and used it myself for 7 minutes. And may I say, what a wonderful, relaxing, refreshing 7 minutes they were. The way I see it, AF will be arriving with all her glory tomorrow and Saturday, so why wait any longer to start working on my perfect tan? I secretely hoped that after making this purchase that I would be unable to use it for a good 9-10 months. (Honestly, that is usually the way my luck runs-backwards!) Oh well...at least its a distraction for now.

K told me if I could find one for 0% financing we could get one. Not only was I able to do that, but I also found a place that as an added bonus, you received a free 5 day/4 night cruise. So we are going to Nassau sometime later this year.

Even though I am happy, I am incredibly sad that I can use it freely now. It just really sucks!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Nothing New

I have been MIA the past week or so. I am so sorry if my blogging buddies feel neglected! Nothing new to report on the infertility front. I am at cd 20 today, so one more week to go to find out if the Super C worked or not. Anyway, I hope to get caught back up on my blog reading this weekend! Hope you all are having a fabulous week.

Oh yeah, before I forget: Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for rain that we received this week. (We are still in drout-like conditions.)
I am thankful that my birthday came and passed, and that the Lord has blessed me with another year.
I am thankful that we get $ back on our taxes! (Can I get an Amen Ladies?)
I am thankful that I have such a wonderful husband. (I know I say this often, but I do appreciate him every single day of my life.)

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Who turned off the AC?....and tagged

I finished up the last of my clomid pills on Saturday. Let's just say, even with the estrogen suppositories, the hot flashes have been frequent. I've woken more times than I care to, sticky and clammy of sweat, feeling the need to rip every shred of clothing from my body. After the moment passes, I feel back to my old self, and slowly dread the time until the next big one. The mood swings are pretty bad too! But, I can deal with those better than the hot flashes! K would rather I have the hot flashes, I'm sure, since he's referred to me as "evil" the past few days. It's the hormones people!!!

I've been tagged by Kelly over at the Quest for Baby Agosti. The rules are simple: Link to the person who tagged you, list the rules in your blog, Share six non-important quirks about yourself, Tag at least 3 people, leave those you tagged a comment so they can play too.

1. When I was 6, I once tried to make income selling saltines in our driveway. You know, some kids sell lemonade or cupcakes. Yeah, well, I loved crackers (and still do) and I couldn't see why anyone wouldn't want to stop in and buy some. I can still remember one truck teasing me that they were going to pull in. The couple was older and they were laughing hysterically. I was so mad at the time, but now I get it. I am pleased to know that I could have brought so much humor to those folks on this day.

2. I once ran up our family's phone bill by calling the Papa Smurf hot line! I loved the Smurfs cartoon! I just wanted to hear Papa Smurf tell me a story over the phone. I didn't know it was $2.99/minute? I think I ran up the bill $150 and I was grounded from ever calling in anywhere like that, ever again.

3. I am notorious to never closing things. I leave drawers, doors, bags, etc. open. Actually, I half heartily push them close, but I never close drawers completely! My husband says that I subconsciously know that he is coming behind me to shut them all. I honestly, don't even realize I am doing it!

4. Like #3, I almost always never zip my pants. My friends say it's because I button first, but I always seem to forget to zip my pants! Does anyone see a pattern here?

5. I love to take naps on Sunday's. Sometimes, I think that's what gets me through my weeks. K and I go to church, eat lunch, and nap until time to go back to church. I just love this time, and I feel so refreshed and relaxed when I wake up.

6. I once set my bed on fire by playing with matches UNDER the bed. I had finally figured out how to strike a lighter (and I was practicing!). Fortunately, my dad was able to drag the mattress outside before it caused any severe damage to our house!

My parents use to tell me, "When you grow up, I hope you have 10 kids just like yourself!" Awe, the irony in those words. I would love to have 10 kids, but from my own experience, I know I must: block all pay-calls from our land line, hide all lighters or matches, keep a vast supply of saltines, and get the drawer/door closing under control (I don't know if K could handle two or more of me).

I tag Sadie and Tyson, Jen, and Rebecca (if she feels up to it :).

Monday, January 21, 2008

Here we go...

I had to go see my new doc, Dr. R, this a.m. for a pelvic exam before we can begin the clomid. I forgot to shave my legs! How embarrassing! (And, let me tell you, I haven't shaved in at least a week! It's the winter-I don't shave every day!!! After this experience, however, I may start shaving every day!) The good news is that Dr. R didn't even notice, or if he did, he didn't say anything.

In case you have forgotten, I just love my new doc. He is so witty and comical. Today, I asked him about the hot flashes that I've been having since doing the injectible ovulation drugs. I was told that I have OCD. Dr. R kind of chuckled and said that it wasn't meant to be derogatory, so I said "Thank you..." and sort of laughed. He just said that I was so "in tune" to my body, that I had obviously read "the book." I think this could of rubbed some patients the wrong way, but I thought it was funny. I've always just assumed I've had OCD, so now I know!

Anyway, I am going to be taking 5 days of 100mg of Clomid. Dr. R usually prescribes it days 5-9. I took clomid for one month at my last dr's office, except days 3-7. So, Dr. R wants me to do it this month days 4-8. He also gave me a complementary estrogen suppositories sample pack. (He really is trying to save me some $). This is new to me. I've had progesterone suppositories before, but not estrogen.

So, ready or not, here we go....who am I kidding? Of course we are ready!!!

Friday, January 18, 2008


Wouldn't you know that when I actually want that old-hag Aunt Flo to show up so I can begin the Clomid this cycle, she would be difficult and take her sweet time. I should of started yesterday. I've been so regular the past 10 years, that I can tell you before or after lunch when she is going to show. She is late...a whole day late!!! So, being the pregnancy test addict that I am, I took a test, which was negative...of course it was negative. It's been negative for the last 66 cycles (with the exception of 2 lost pregnancies). So, come on AF! Rear your ugly head so I can get this show on the road! (Not to mention I am overly hormonal, short tempered, and emotional! I think I am driving my wonderful husband insane!)

Update: She's here! She's here! She's here! On to the Super C (clomid) we move this cycle.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008


This is the book I am reading. It has been really good so far, and I am hoping to finish it this week. It isn't a prescription to get pregnant--but it has some pretty darn useful coping skills inside that can be used for just about any unwanted circumstance. This is what the back cover says:

Infertility is a heartbreaking condition that affects nine million American couples each year. It causes tremendous stress, it can trigger debilitating sadness and depression, and it can tear a marriage to shreds. In Conquering Infertility, Harvard psychologist Alice Domar--whom Vogue calls the "Fertility Goddess"--provides infertile couples with what they need most: stress relief, support, and hope. Using the innovative mind/body techniques she has perfected at her clinic, Domar helps infertile women not only regain control over their lives but also boost their chances of becoming pregnant. With Alice Domar's renowned program, women learn how to cope with infertility in a much more positive way and to carve a path toward a rich, full, happy life.
Benefit from wise, comforting words on:
  • Sustaining a Career during Infertility
  • Coping when friends and family members become pregnant
  • Navigating the medical maze
  • Other options when treatment fails.

My responses through out the entire book thus far has been:

"Wow, I thought I was the only one who felt this way."

"I'm not as crazy as I thought I was."

"What I am feeling is perfectly normal."

Just wanted to share the title if anyone was interested.

Dr. Domar sums it up best when she says: "You will be happy again. Life will become joyful again. And somehow, some way if you want to become a parent, you will."