Checking in...

I am exhausted. For those of you who aren't aware, I am currently going back to school to become a teacher, in addition to working full time, being a wife to my wonderful husband & a mommy to a 5-month old (EEEK!!!!). To say my life is busy, is an understatement. I am blessed, none-the-less.

I have a complex about my life. You see, I thought expanding my family by 10 little toes would solve all of my insecurity issues. Some of you told me it wouldn't, that only I could change those... you were right. Having a baby has made me more secure in some ways, but I am still insecure in others.

Have you ever allowed yourself to love someone with every bit of your being? This is how I feel about my husband, my child, my parents... How on earth did that not scare the bee-gee-bee's out of you? It terrifies me. I mostly worry about if my marriage will abruptly end one day. It would devestate me. There isn't anything in particular that K does to make me feel this way. He tries to make me feel secure, but I still don't. I also worry about "what if something happens to me?" or worse, "What if something happens to him or Baby k? Or, my parents?"

I'm weird like that, I guess. I'm in a funky place right now. Emotionally, Socially, Spiritually. I am somewhere caught between where I was and where I want to be...and I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

I'm sorry this post is such a downer today. I'm in a rut. This is an odd request, and I'm sure I have left many of you lost, but would you mind praying for me today? Specifically that I stop feeling so insecure and trust people in my life more, that I get back to being spiritually where I was, and that I stop allowing Satan to have this hold over my "happiness," because I do know, clear-cut without a doubt, this is the Enemy.

Thank you all! I love you guys!