Charne asked, "share with us how you managed to keep the faith while trying to concieve, and on those rough days what did u do to make it easier? how did infertility affect your hubbys faith?"
Charne, I wish I could say that it was easy for me to keep the faith while trying to conceive. The low-down-dirty-truth is that it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. There were many days that I didn't have faith at all. I spent many hours questioning God or worse, directing my anger toward Him. Somehow, someway I just slowly let all of those emotions go. Getting pregnant was still just as important to me, but it didn't hurt quite as much. I learned to keep my faith by surrounding myself with supportive people. I asked so many people to pray for me during this time in my life. I believe their prayers carried me through this valley.
On those rough days, I would toss myself a pity-party. I would have a good cry (cause its my party, and I could cry if I want to :) and I would reach out in the blogging world for a shoulder to cry on. In my real life, there was only two people who I truly believed understood what I was going through--my husband and a friend from church who had too walked in my shoes. But, eventually, I would just get over-it and the next day (or day after that) would be better.
Infertility wasn't as big of a giant for my husband. He wasn't the problem in our inability to conceive, so I don't feel as if it took a toll emotionally on him as it did on me. However, with that said, he was so supportive of me during this time that I don't think I really gave him the opportunity to let it affect him. (As I was laid open on the operating table awaiting the birth of our son, I thanked him for being the wonderful man/husband that he is. He could have left me...but he stayed, even when we were told that biological children were not in our future. I know if our roles were reversed that I would have been as supportive of him. I love him just as much.)
K and I did deal with infertility differently. I was more "outward" while he never showed his emotion. I know it affected him, but he never let me see it because I felt so "fragile."
Eventually, I....
Will finish the post next time...
3 comments:
Your honest answers are going to help people more than you know. I believe God understands our hearts and our desires and hurts when we hurt. You have a precious gift and I know you know that more now than ever. It wasn't a gift that came easily, so all the more reason to glorify the Father.
I have a gift for the precious boy! I'm going to look for you Sunday! :) Love you, sweet friend!
What a great question and what a great post. You've really got me thinking about my own journey and faith through it.
I do think men and women just react differently, it's part of the way we were built.
Thanks for sharing!!
~~HUGS~~
thank you so much for been open and been honest, i really appreciate it
xxx
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