I haven't really had a lot of extra time to blog lately. I'm hoping that I haven't managed to lose the few readers I had. I have been reading, but commenting and posting have certainly taken a back burner to other priorities. I have one week remaining of summer break before Fall 09 sememster starts. I can't believe I am already starting my second year of what will be my 2nd bachelor's degree. I have really enjoyed my classes so far, and I now understand why Teaching is the best profession on earth.
Anyway, I'm seeking your advice if you are out there. I have a little problem. To make a long story short, I use to be really good friends with a girl, whom we will call D. She was one of my best friends, even though there were some quirks about her that really un-nerved me. To spare you all the grusome details, I'll just say this: I said something aweful about D, even though it was true to how I felt, to another friend in email. I should have said it to D, but I didn't. That didn't change that it was how I felt. Well, D found out about it...not through hear-say but by cracking the password to my email. Part of my statement was made out of my insecurities during infertility. (we all know how crazy it can make you).
Am I alone to think that she was in the wrong too? Yes, I should have made my statement to her instead of someone else. And, I'll be honest, it was really on the verge of happening, because I had all I could handle...but I didnt.
It has been almost 3 years since then, and well...we are now just "acquaitances." We'll leave comments here and there on Facebook, but that is about the extent of our relationship. The worst part of all of this is how much I miss her son, H. I became really attached to H during all of my infertility struggles, and well...I lost him too in this process. I have apologized, and she has too, but it's just not the same, nor will it ever be.
Recently, I decided...I was over it. I miss her, yes, but I'm not going to put myself out there and beg to be friends again anymore. Since then, her grandpa died and I went to the funeral (because I know how important he was to her, and I still care about her), but we haven't spoken since then. It's really sad...
What is your advice on this situation. Do I just give it more time, even though it's been 3 years, or do I cut my losses. I think the thing that bothers me most is that while I was pregnant, I told her I really wanted her to be an important part of my son's life. She came to see him in the hospital when he was born, and a few times since, but she really doesn't acknowledge him at all.
Is this stupid? Advice anyone?
4 comments:
Why do female friendships have to be so complicated? I don't really have any advice for you, but I will be praying for your situation. Good luck with your classes!I miss teaching.
She hacked your email account? CREEEPY. Yes you shouldn't have probably said what you said, but we've ALL been there. I think she definitely crossed the line, way worse than you did. I think some relationships just can't be mended, unfortunately. I have a few of them myself. I think we all change as life goes on and it's hard to keep friends sometimes. I say sometimes it's just easier to move on and leave your life open for some new friends to come along. good luck!
You know the Bible teachs us to forgive and forget just a GOD does to us. I know that is harder to do than to say, but you have to make a choice. You have to choice if her and her family mean more to you than your pride and if they are worth fighting for. Seek God's guidance and let him start the friendship anew and if the friendship is of him it can be mended if it is not it will not work anyway.
Haven't got to see you at church, will try to look for you guys this week I want to see how baby K has grown.
Will be praying for you
Love ya,
Pam
Sorry for the delay, I've been MIA a few weeks :-)
I'm sorry you're having to go through this - I know how hard it is to try and repair a friendship. I would evaluate how she feels about the situation...it doesn't sound like you are the reason that your friendship hasn't mended. And as much as you want to repair things, if she doesn't want to, well then, things will unfortunately not change no matter how badly you want them to. I'll certainly be praying for guidance for you though!
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