Weekend Recap...

We've had a fun weekend. We celebrated Kade's 2nd birthday with a small party of family and friends. The picture you see here is him telling us all--through his crocodile tears--to stop singing Happy Birthday to him. If you attended, don't take it personally. I tried to sing him Jesus Loves Me the other day and he cried. So excuse me while I rejoice that it's not just MY singing he hates... Yippee! ;) Lucky for us, we had cake! Mickey Mouse cake! So all is well with the world again!



And if cake wouldn't dry up the tears, then all of the gifts he was showered with would!




This punch recipe was a huge hit! It's super easy to make and virtually impossible to screw up. You can use any kind of jello. We like the lime and is what we served. I have made it with the strawberry, and it is equally yummy!


Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups white sugar
6 cups water
2 (3 ounce) packages strawberry
flavored gelatin mix
1 (46 fluid ounce) can pineapple juice
2/3 cup lemon juice
1 quart orange juice
2 (2 liter) bottles lemon-lime flavored
carbonated beverage

Directions:
1. In a large saucepan, combine sugar, water, and strawberry flavored gelatin. Boil for 3 minutes. Stir in pineapple juice, lemon juice, and orange juice. Divide mixture in half, and freeze in 2 separate containers.
2. When ready to serve, place the frozen contents of one container in a punch bowl, and stir in 1 bottle of lemon-lime soda until slushy.


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Today, we spent the day with Nanny and Pawpaw. And he got his last present from us. His Pawpaw, Uncle Shawn, and Daddy finished putting together his swing set. Well, to be fair, it's for all the grandkids, but he gets to enjoy it all by himself right now! So, today, it's his!


And, I think he approves!


And I will toss in this super cute photo for good measure!


We hope you have had an enjoyable weekend!

Weekend Away...

Last weekend, Kyle and I went to the Jason Aldean concert. It was an amazing show, but it was even more amazing to get away...just the two of us. We have very hectic schedules (who doesn't, right?) with work, our boys, my going to school. It seems like the weeks pass by so quickly and we don't see each other at all. So, we took a moment to slow our pace...and just enjoy each other's company. It was WONDERFUL! We are so blessed to have the marriage that we do. I'm a very lucky lady; I do know that.

First on stage was a newer band named The JaneDear Girls. Picture an 80's girl rocking hair band gone country. Got it? That's the best I can do to describe them. Their first single is called Wildflower and its pretty good. You can check it out here:

The JaneDear Girls - Wildflower (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: The JaneDear Girls

Next up was one of our favorites. Eric Church! He is actually from where we live, so it's really great to see someone who has finally "made it" from a little ol' NC town. He was awesome!


We finally got to see Jason Aldean. I'll be honest--next to Matchbox Twenty--he is my/our next favorite artist. We love his songs, and I had the best time watching my amazing husband sing along with him. I tried to upload some videos, but I couldn't for this blog. So, you'll have to settle for a picture. (This really stinks for you guys, because I nearly fainted when he preformed "Heaven" by Bryan Adams. A-MAZ-ING!



It was a great short weekend trip, and I'm really looking forward to the next one!

Much Love,
Kyle & Elaine

Things I Love Thursday...

The thing I love most about today is that I get to celebrate the birth

of one of our miracle sons, Kade.

He is one of the children that doctors--specialists--told me I would never have.

He is independent...

He is funny....

He is happy....

He is spoiled....

But most all, he is loved!



Happy Birthday Sweet Boy! I can't believe you are TWO!!!!

From the Beginning...Who Knew Getting Pregnant Would Be This Hard?

Here is how I came to blogging....I wrote this over four years ago. I am now 31 years old, and Kyle and I will celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary this year. We now have two handsome, healthy baby boys which we couldn't possibly be deserving of. Things are drastically different now, but this is our story...and I pray that it will encourage you if you are waiting on your prayers to be answered. If you have a success story, (pregnancy, adoption, or contentment without children) I have a place below where you can link up. Let us all share God's comfort with each other today.

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My name is Elaine. I am 27 years old, and I am married to a wonderful man, Kyle. We have been married for 4 years, and we have been trying to have a baby since our wedding night. Here we are years down the road and two miscarriages later still without a baby to hold.

So here I am. I decided to title my blog My prayers, His promises in hopes to reinforce my faith in God. He hears my prayers and will answer them in His time. I hold on to the promises He has made me in His Word.

A little bit about me:

I found out I was pregnant with our first child December 23, 2004. What perfect timing! At this point we had been trying to conceive for 14 months. With Christmas a few days later, we felt it to be a perfect time to tell all of our family and friends. December 30, exactly one week later, I started spotting and had my husband take me to the emergency room. My highest high in life became my lowest low. I was having a “probable” miscarriage the doctor had said. The only thing I could do was go home and wait it out. I was only 5.5 weeks.

Telling my family and friends was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Their words of comfort, for example, “There must have been something wrong with the baby,” or, “At least you know you can get pregnant, and you’ll have another chance,” or “It was God’s will,” did nothing but make me angry. ANGRY. No one, NO ONE understood the heartache that I was/still am feeling. I knew that they loved me, but nothing they could say would comfort me.

No matter how much I doubted it, to my surprise, the sun still rose each morning. It didn’t quite shine the same way to me, but never-the-less, life went on with or without my participation. I cut myself off from everyone: my husband, my family, friends, GOD. It’s almost like I was embarrassed. This wasn’t supposed to happen to me. No one in my entire family had ever had a miscarriage; I am healthy; I am young; I take care of myself; I am a good person. How could this happen? More importantly, where was God?? I don’t know how Jesus felt when he was on the cross dying for my sins, but I truly felt that God had forsaken me at this point.

Months past, I got out of church and out of God’s will. I partied with my friends. Eight months later, August 04, 2005 I found out I was pregnant again. Again, it couldn’t have occurred at a more perfect time. I was avoiding what was suppose to be my estimated due date with baby #1 (August 30, 2005) when I found out I was pregnant again. I was shocked!! Could this be the baby we would hold? My pregnancy seemed to progress normally, or so I thought. I had all the pregnancy symptoms. I felt good….different this time. This was it. I knew it… I felt confident that God would bless us with a child this time around.

At my first doctor’s appointment, I had my first sonogram. I was so excited to see the baby…I couldn’t wait. I’ll never forget what the technician said (you know they aren’t supposed to say anything), “It doesn’t look like an 8 week baby to me…” At first, I thought I had misunderstood her. As the silence progressed I knew I hadn’t. This time, I had a blighted ovum…a sac, but the baby never developed. I thought I was pregnant, my body thought I was pregnant…I had to have a d & c the same day. It was Sept. 6, 2005

I just couldn’t believe it had happened again. All of the comforting statistics…I’m sure you’ve heard them yourself…once you lose a baby to miscarriage the likelihood of it happening again is decreased… Although that is supposed to be a true statistic, it did not apply to me. I asked the doctor if we were now eligible for any sort of testing…and we are not until we have had three miscarriages. Why would I put myself, my family, or my husband back through this again, especially if something is truly wrong with me?

We have now gone through preliminary testing. My husband has had a semen analysis and I have had a HSG, which is an x-ray of your abdomen to make sure your tubes are open. Both checked out okay. Since we had now been trying for more than 6 months since my 2nd miscarriage, my doctor agreed to try clomid and IUI. I tried not to get my hopes up as its success rate is only 20%. Let’s face it, odds have never exactly gone in my favor. It failed.We repeated the IUI with clomid…then injectible drugs…and repeated it again. Five unsuccessful IUI’s, on we go in this quest of mother/father-hood.

I did handle my second miscarriage a little better emotionally. I guess it is because I knew what to expect this time around. There are days that I think I am strong. Don’t let that fool you…there were/still are days that I cry so much that I don’t know how I could not be dehydrated when I finally get myself together. The emptiness is still in the depth of my soul, and no matter what I do, I don’t know how to fill it.

I am back in church now. I have made some changes in my life which can only be to my benefit. I pray…I have tried and tried to give this problem to God. On days I think I have. Then there are days that I know I haven’t, but I am just not sure what to do differently. There are days that I just simply go through the motions of life…there are days that I catch myself smiling and laughing again though. (Thank you, God)

A few weeks ago, we found out some of our friends are expecting their 2nd. Basically, we were trying when they conceived their first, and now they are pregnant again. Life just seems so unfair at times. “Why, God? What have I done to make You so mad at me?” I have literally watched some people get pregnant, have babies, and now their children are turning THREE since Kyle and I have been trying to have our first child.It seems everywhere I look are pregnant women: on television, at shopping centers, work, church…and I am not one of them. It kills me.

My prayers, His promises...I just have to keep faith. Good days/Bad days. That’s just the way life is for me/us now. We just pray and pray and pray…I haven't been able to put it in God’s hands…not because of my lack of faith in Him, I just don't know how. I just pray. Every time I think about it now, I just pray! Even when I’m all prayed out—I just pray. I know that prayer is what has gotten me through the last few years spiritually and emotionally, not to mention has only helped our marriage become better and stronger.

Some people think I need to consider seeking professional help, because I am always so sad. How do you seek help for mourning a dream you have? Kyle and I have agreed it's time to do IVF...we at first didn't want to tell anyone, because to be honest, it's somewhat embarrassing to me as a woman. But I am seeking anyone's advice who has been down this road before and can offer any guidance. It's not a guarentee, but it's a new journey of itself and is completely new to us since we don't know anyone personally who has gone through this.

So that's why I'm here...My prayers, His promises. I am going to lean on other Christian women who can help pray me through this journey. I want to pray for you too, whatever your circumstances may be. I know now that I am not alone in this, nor am I the only person who has gone through something this "life-changing." It has changed my life--every single aspect.

Thanks for reading this, I know it has been lengthy. Thank you for giving me somewhere to express these feelings. Thank you for the new friends I will meet and the prayer partners I will gain. Thank you, Lord, in advance for how you will use this blog for Your glory.

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Now it's your turn to share your success story here. Blog about it, or if you have in the past share your story here:

Great Deal...$20 at Barnes & Noble for $10

I got this email today. I wanted to pass on the savings to you all:

You can get a $20 gift certificate for Barnes & Noble for $10. (The only restriction I saw was that you have to redeem it by April.) I bought one...go grab the savings for yourself.

http://www.groupon.com/deals/barnes-noble-charlotte

What Blogs Are You Reading???

Hello Friends! I thought today I would share with you a few of the blogs I am reading:


Have you read about or saw the news of the unrest in Egypt? Well, my bloggy friend lives in Cairo. She, too, fought the battle of infertility and won. After 10 years of trying, she welcomed Super Baby in Oct 2010. She has been updating on the chaos in Egypt as she has had time. Go here to read more...Please pray for her and others.

Need a neat idea to celebrate Love Month? My friend Deidre has a cool way to show Love as a verb for the entire month of Februrary. She has two beautiful, witty daughters who allow her blog to be both serious and comical. And, she has a love for the Lord that shines through at the heart of every post. If you need some encouragement, check her out. You can also visit Mindy who is playing along as well.

I'm also still following my fellow infertility sisters Allison, Amanda, Melissa, Courtney,Joannah, and Mandy who are all pregnant with #2 (except Joannah who is expecting her first, a baby girl, in a few short months!

And, Ms. Joy just found out she is expecting again!

Go over and give Glenna a big ol' hug too. She is pursuing adoption again, but has chosen to adopt internationally this time! I am so excited for her, and I can't wait to watch her family grow!

What blogs are you reading?

SSMT Verse 3 & other

I have chosen my next verse for SSMT 2011. Pretty soon you will begin to notice a theme emerging. So, without further ado, I give you verse 3:

"Just as the rich rule the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender." Proverbs 22:7 (NIV)

I chose this verse to be more money savvy in 2011. As I glance at my mountain of student loans, revolving debt, our mortgage, car payments, DAYCARE!!! I grow weary very quickly. It seems that each year we have to use our tax refund to pay off debts we've accumulated along the way. This year, I resolve to no longer be a servant to our lenders. I feel quite certain that I can knock a few of these debts out in full with our tax refund, but my student loan debt I may be carrying with me into retirement at this point! (Kyle says, "Well, if you would only stop going to school?!? Okay, so he may have a point, but don't tell him I said so. Is it possible to become addicted to becoming educated? If so, I'm guilty as charged.) Anyway, I hope by meditating on this verse that I will be more quick to pay with cash rather than postponing the inevitable.

(It's not too late to participate if you feel led to do so.Go here to get started.) ***********
In other news, I.Am.Exhausted. We've been fighting germs at our house that just won't go away. In the past 2 weeks, we've had 6 doctor appts (2-Kade, 2-Kohen, 1-Mommy, 1-Daddy). The boys have had RSV while Kyle and I have each had a sinus infection. Can you say "Sick and tired of being sick and tired." Because I am. We are. Sick of being sick. Finally, 3 antibiotics and a Z-pack later (between all of us), I think we are finally on the mend. I'm almost hesitant to say that out loud.

Here are some pics of our sweet boys:

Kohen will be 3 months old soon! I have no idea where the time has gone. It seems like yesterday when I was on my way to the hospital to deliver him.


Here is my sweet Kade helping my mom make me a birthday cake.

Have a blessed week!
Elaine

For my Sweet Friends who are still waiting on their Miracle...

I love this devotional. Love it! If you need a little bit of encouragement (who can't), then look in to subscribing to it. Here is todays:

Waiting in My WingsTags: Courage, Everyday Faith, Hope, Prayer


Waiting has been terribly sweet.

“Because sometimes in the waiting for what we long for, we praise God long when the gift comes at long last. Sometimes God has his people wait long, so our gratitude becomes deeper and wider.” – Ann Voskamp, The Jesse Tree Journey

It was chosen for me – the waiting.

I choose my response.

I grew weary at the amount of “In God’s timing. . .” I’ve heard after these last 5 and half years of deep desire to be called “Mommy.” I know it’s true and best, but those words stirred up ugly responses, like a rake to my tender heart.

But God. . . He has shown me grace, a bent down hug when I stumbled into a pit. He gives me revelation that His perfect timing was not only for me, but my future children – His little children. That someday their story will be in the Book with Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Benjamin, Samson, Samuel, and John. All prayed for and believed for by their parents. All appointed for a miraculous time. All chosen before birth by Our Creator, to a specific job in The Kingdom.

All of these, the ones that were prayed for, longed for, waited for – they all point to Messiah – the One we all waited for. Who has come as promised and will come again. The waiting for His return is long-suffering, but Revelation imagery tells us is worth the wait. More-than-I-can-imagine worthy.

So I wait.

For my gut-wrenching prayers to bathe my sweet babes. . . of knowing, pleasing, revealing Our Father from birth to death, the moment of entrance matters. Every moment matters — the first cry, the best friend, the favorite teacher, the split second almost car wreck, the lifetime kiss that tingles, the True Love of Eternity, the life.

I can step back and know that my years of waiting are only a blink. A wink in the eye of The Lover of My Soul. I can – without seeing – love my children, bless them, and expect them. My first act as mother – to release them to God’s timing. All In God’s Timing.

So I wait.

God’s writers don’t share what these future Mamas, of such pivotal people like Jacob and John, did while they waited. I’m assuming they felt like me. Hopefully expectant, fingers white from gripping truth, faith like a roller coaster, with visions of family around their fire, knowing God will come through on His promises. . . struggling at moments, wondering if they heard correctly when their life looks so different from those surrounding them.

The Soul Counselor tells me it’s worth the wait – for us, for the child, for His Kingdom. The longer I wait the more hope God provides, the closer He becomes, and the more grand the praise is when our child arrives.

To be grouped in with women such as Sarah, Hannah, Rachel, Elizabeth and others is an honor. Friends, neighbors, and the town folk all knew their little miracle was from God. There were no other explanations.

But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly on wings like eagles. Isaiah 40:31

It’s an effortless moment to soar. Gliding on His plan-winds.

So, for now, I soar. On wings that God Himself has given. Him imparting strength and dignity, full of surprise and blessings. Moments planned when my Momma prayed for me.

I wait. Full of watchful, patient expectation. I trust God. . . and praise Him for the gift I can not yet see, but believe is coming.

By Stephanie Bryant, Co-Founder of (in)courage & Creative Mastermind at S Bryant Social Marketing

Tagged as: faith, hope, trusting God

SSMT #2

I'm a few days late posting this, but here is the second verse I have chosen for the SSMT 2011:

"Honor the Lord with thy substance and with the firstfruits of all thine increase." Proverbs 3:9

Honor the Lord with thy substance--your wealth--and with the firstfruits of all thine increase--the BEST part of everything your land produces.

Again, "Honor the Lord with your wealth..." I've struggled over the years with tithing. I'll be honest, the $ just wasn't there. No matter how I budgeted, I couldn't account for paying our bills and giving 10% of our funds in tithes. I understand now that this is my lack of faith in God's ability to provide for my family's needs. He's working with me on this, and 2011 I will chose to honor him with my wealth. Over the past few weeks, I've really cut back on our excess spending. I have packed my lunch every day for work. We've been cooking more at home. I can see the difference in our bank acct which will allow for me to give 10% to God.

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As a side note, I had to share something with you all that happened to me this week. When I received my weekly pay check, I noticed that it was $50 more than it should have been. I sat at my desk contemplating on whether to question HR about it. The arguement with my conscience went something like this:

Me: "It's not that much money."
Conscience: "It may not be your's."
Me: "I work for a multi-million dollar company."
Conscience: "It's stealing."
Me: "I feel under-appreciated as an employee. What's the harm?"
Conscience: "Call HR. It's wrong not to question it."
Me: "What if I didn't call HR and I am reprimanded once this error is caught?"
Conscience: "Make the call."
Me: "Okay, I'll make the call."

It was a battle of good vs. evil. Ultimately, I followed my gut and did call. Turns out that the money was actually owed to me--a payroll error from when my maternity leave began. I felt so relieved (and proud of myself) for calling--not to mention excited to have $50 I wasn't expecting. You guys will call me crazy, but it was worth it to give it back if it wasn't mine. I would be stealing, and I know how displeasing that would be to the Lord.

The strangest thing happened after that. The same day, I received a check from my obgyn office for $250 where we overpaid for my last pregnancy. Who says honest people finish last? Perhaps we would have gotten this check whether I called HR or not. But, I chose to believe that by following my instincts on my payroll check that the Lord chose to reward me 5 fold.

He's an amazing God.

My Reading Journal

I started a new blog in 2010 to keep record of books I had read. You can find it here. This blog is more of a journal than book review website.

These days, I am finding myself reading mostly young adolescent/young adult literature. My interest is not out of my explicit refusal to embrace my thirty's. I do, however, find YA novels facinating. As a future Language Arts educator I feel it is my reponsibilty to be knowledgeable about some of the books my students will be reading. I also make notes of any parental concerns (sexual content, explicit language, etc.) My reviews are not nearly as detailed as some of the book blogs I've researched. There aren't character narratives or plot spoilers. It's mostly my overall reaction to the novels and any quotes which stood out to me. I document books to keep me reading and improve my writing skills. However, it's still evolving with every novel I add.

I just finished The Hunger Games this week. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland...

The eastern United States is being pelted by snow. I experienced my first white Christmas in 2010. It was nice.

However, anyone who loves snow has obviously never worked in groceries... banking... or healthcare. I work for a large food distributor in the southeastern US. We NEVER close due to weather conditions. That's just the way it is. We are forced to use what little vacation time we are given for weather... and doctor appointments... and sick kids... and holidays... and any other life circumstances. So, after ten years of employment, I have learned to pick my battles.

I awoke to two, possibly three inches of snow this morning. After much debate and a lot of self-convincing, I decided to work today. However, had I not taken time off last week for my dad's surgery, I would be snuggled in my bed right now. I couldn't afford to use more vacation time so soon. I only have 3 weeks, which may seem like a lot, but I'm here to tell you it isn't. Never-the-less, I have a job, so for that alone I am thankful (and continually reminding myself of since four hours have passed and three more inches of snow have dropped).

Kyle works for a bank who is also open today, albeit they were at least delayed. So, don't worry friends. I will keep you supplied in bread and milk while Kyle oversees your ability to purchase them. Together we can get through the treacherous weather of Winter 2011 :)

By the way, do you ever wonder why its bread and milk? The two staple must-have items for any weather conditions. Odd, yes?

I hope you read that with the sarcasm in which it was written. There may be some *slight* truth to it, but its just the mood I am in today. Aaahhh! If only I could be a child who is giddy at the first sight of flakes! Perhaps as my boys get older my love for snow will reemerge. But for now, friends, it's buried beneath the cold.

My dad's surgery went well last week. His carotid artery was 80% blocked which is the likely culprit of his stroke back in Dec 2010. I am so blessed that he is still here. I wonder if he--the hardest working man I know--is enjoying a snow day? Did I just find my silver lining? Maybe (just maybe) this is God's way of making my dad rest today. For his rest, I too will be thankful.

Stay warm!

Sweet Revelations of 2011...

Wow! If you haven't read this post, you should. I will be first to say I am guilty of the same sin. Thank you Jill, for sharing your heart with us. I love the simplicity of your post and the sincerity of your words. It was a powerful way to remind us all that God frowns upon this type of behavior even when our intentions mean well.

Just moments after I read this post, I was approached by a co-worker who shared something very private with me. I found it so ironic how God immediately chose to test me. If Jill's post hadn't been fresh on my heart, I imagine that my reaction would have been much different.

I will not fail this test, Lord.
Elaine

Happy 2011!

Happy New Year Friends!

I am really looking forward to 2011 and the possibilities that it brings with it, not only for my family but for all of your families. I set some goals for 2011 which I will share with you all below:

For starters, I am participating in this for the FIRST time! While I was out on maternity leave, I fell in love with the 700 Club. I found myself watching it often, and it really encouraged me in areas I needed. I decided that 2011 would be a year of growing closer to the Lord for me. I know memorizing scripture will be stepping stones into that type of relationship with the Lord. So, I found what I feel is the perfect first verse (for me):

"This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success." --Joshua 1:8, KJV

I also really like the NIV version of the same verse. It seems a little more simplified:

"Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."

Another goal for 2011 is to make alone time for myself and Kyle. With daycare costs, I don't foresee the ability to take an extended extravagant vacation in the near future. However, we have surmised a compromise of sorts. For instance, Feb 4 we will be attending the Jason Aldean concert and staying overnight here. Greensboro is only about 2 hours away from where we live, but it will be a night away for just the two of us. I can't begin to tell you how excited we are! We really hope to take several mini-vacations in 2011.

My classes start back up next week. My goal is to do my best this semester and stop fretting over an imperfect GPA. My absolute best is good enough.

Every year, I set a goal of drinking more water. I fail miserably, but I feel compelled to include it again this year. I am drinking a bottle of water now, so that's a descent start, right?

Given the events as of late with my daddy's health, I also hope that Kyle and I will eat better, healthier in 2011. So, I kissed goodbye to fast food for a while. I was sad at first, but I have survived.

There are other trivial goals, but I'll bore you no longer. Wishing you all a prosperous, healthy 2011.

Update...part 2

So, right after I did this post, my life sort of spiraled out of control. My dad suffered a stroke on Dec. 16 which left us all caught by surprise. He is (Praise God) recovering amazingly well, even though he has to have surgery Jan 5 on his coratid artery that is 80% blocked. Here is a picture of my dad holding Kohen when he was born.



My sweet husband, Kyle, graduated with his Master's Degree on Dec. 20 from Gardner Webb University! I am sooooooo very proud of him!



Our nephew, Alex flew in from Montana to spend Christmas with our family. We hadn't seen him in over a year! Look how grown up he is...

Alex with Aunt Lisa (my sister-in-law)and Dawson (our nephew)

Alex was suppose to fly back to Montana today, but decided it was more important to have an emergency appendectomy. Here he is after surgery:


I'll save Christmas for a post of its own in the near future. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and may you have a prosperous New Year!

It's been a while... Part 1

It's been a terribly long time since I last blogged. In fact, the last time I wrote, this is what I looked like:


Things have been very busy for us. This will be the first of several "catching up" posts.

For starters, we welcomed this little man into our family on Nov 10.

He arrived via scheduled c-section at 7:48 a.m. weighing 7 lbs 8 oz and 20.5 inches long. Since his name also starts with a K, I can't call him Baby K. Soooo... We named him Kohen. He now is 5 weeks old, which seems unbelievable to me. It's truly crazy how quickly time has gone by.

Here is big brother, Kade (aka Baby K).


He has adjusted so much better than I anticipated he would. I thought he would be really jealous of his dad and I holding his baby brother. However, to my surprise he hasn't been.

I have received several emails asking me to update our blog. Thank you to those of you who have asked. I remember all to well how bittersweet these posts were for me. It was especially difficult during the holiday season. So, I chose to blog very little about our pregnancy. Just because I have climbed out of the depths of infertility doesn't mean I have forgotten how it feels. [Let me remind my readers that my climb out took 5 years] It wasn't easy; it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life, and if I had to go through it again, I'm not sure how I could do it. But, in hindsight...I am so thankful for my journey. I have learned so much about myself, about my husband and our marriage, about my strength, and about our Lord.

I've met so many wonderful people who I count among the blessings I've received from infertility. There was a time I would have never thought I could be blessed by all the heartache, but I am so thankful for it. I was closer to God when he denied me my every hearts desire, and I'm currently journeying back to have that relationship with Him.

More to come...

Some Thoughts...

I finally finished up my Summer Semester! I am currently on a short break before the Fall Semester begins, so I have spent many evenings catching up on house chores I let fall to the side while I concentrated on school. I have also came home each day from work and taken a short nap. I think I once underestimated the power of sleep. It's funny how when you feel as if you aren't getting any, you are gently reminded that your body needs rest--it's something you should make time for even when you feel as if there aren't enough hours in the day.

I'll also make a small confession here: I'm weary. My heart is so heavy for several friends right now, some of which are you. Does it feel like every where you look that the world is in turmoil? People are hurting...and it really breaks my heart to feel this powerless over certain circumstances. Patience has never been a strong virtue of mine. (I prayed for patience once, and it took my five years to become pregnant with my son. I vowed never again to pray for patience.) The truth is that waiting on God to answer your prayers is so hard... especially when your heart is aching and you seek immediate relief. I know that we are to seek refuge at the foot of the cross; that should be enough. However, the human aspect of us all often wonders what to do next when that doesn't feel like it's enough.

A good friend once told me that "we as humans are conditioned to always want more." I've found that to be true. I once thought that having a baby would complete my life and it would be all I ever needed in my life. Yet, I recently have found myself dissatisfied with "worldly" possessions. I am really unhappy with my job; I don't like my appearance; I have new car fever... see? I always want more. When is God's best going to be good enough for me?

This is just a post which has been laying on my heart lately. It could possibly be hormone related or that I am simply emotionally and physically exhausted. I just feel a huge burden for us all right now, and it makes me anxiously await the return of Christ, so that all of these trials and tribulations are things of the past.

Pulling out my hair...

This is what I look like lately...aside from the perfectly pressed clothes and accessories. I have also forgone applying makeup.

I am having a terribly hard semester at school! My professor has extremely unrealistic expectations for a 5 week course, especially for students who have class 3 nights per week and also work full time jobs. I'm usually really good with managing my time to prioritize work, family, school... As of today, I've never felt so overwhelmed in my life by a single course.

If you are curious as to where I've been, all of my free time is consumed with school assignments right now. As mentioned, I have class 3 nights per week and I haven't been to bed before midnight in weeks. Add in that my son is still waking once per night and that I am now 23 weeks pregnant, and you will end up with one extremely exhausted mommy who is about to burst at any given moment!

However, this class will not defeat me... I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...it's dim, but it's there!

...please join me in prayer.

I wanted to ask you all to please join me in praying for my sweet friend Joannah. She is one of the strongest women I have ever known. Life is just being unbearably (what we would call) "unfair" to her. Despite life's many adversities, she gives God the praise He deserves in good/bad times. Like many of us, she has battled infertility. Also, just four months ago, she lost her husband to cancer. Joannah, being the incredibly brave and strong woman she is, decided to move forward with a frozen embryo transfer from when she and her husband were undergoing IVF. Yesterday she went in for her first beta which was 14. On Saturday, Joannah goes in for her 2nd beta, and her small army of prayer warriors are praying for increased levels. Will you please join me on my knees in the days ahead?

I'm in love...

...with this icecream! Have you tried it? Seriously, people, it's the best thing I've ever tasted! It tastes so much like birthday cake! If you like birthday cake, your taste buds will be in Heaven! Last night, I grabbed this out of the freezer and just started eating it stait from the carton. (Don't judge! I'm the only one eating from it!) After a while--okay, a long while--K walks over and takes the spoon from my hand and the icecream away. I think I almost cried, even though I am quite certain I would have eaten the entire carton if he hadn't came to my rescue. And did I mention it's 1/3 less fat!?! I'm usually not a healthy eater and shy away from anything with the words "Reduced" or "Less" on them. I have to admit, this stuff tastes like it's packed full with sugar and calories (all the good yummy things!), so even I was in disbelief Edy's could pull it off! Go get ya some! You can thank me later!

Tonight I start back school. I will have teaching methods for middle grades geometry for 3 hrs/3 nights per week. Yippee! [*insert sarcasm*] Good thing that my school is next to




and they have the best milkshakes around! And guess what?...they now have Birthday Cake Milkshakes for a limited time only. That should help get the brain juices flowing for 3 hrs worth of geometry!

I hope this week is being sweet to you!

Feel Good Monday Moment...

Here is your "Awe...how sweet" for Monday! This brought tears to my eyes! Enjoy!



This is 8 month old Jonathan (who was born deaf) when he hears his mommy's voice for the very first time! Medical miracles happen every day. I'm sure this too was once thought to be impossible!

I had a pleasant surprise in my inbox today. Katy sent me the sweetest email. Many of you have likely received one similar...someone in the world is reaching out to you telling you that your blog (and your journey becoming a parent) is inspiring to them. That's when you realize that your pain and heartache has been worth it all, isn't it? After chatting via email, I have to tell you all that she is just the sweetest girl, going through the toughest time right now. A time that most of us can relate to and use to encourage her. So, this post is calling out to my fellow IF'rs (new or old to the journey) to show her some love on her new blog:

http://myfaithlooksup.blogspot.com

Don't you just love the name she chose for her blog? I can already tell that God is going to do amazing things with her story...and that she will be an inspiration to someone else one day. Katy, you just keep your faith Girl! We are all here to support you through this!

If you are reading this and you are a lurker who is still waiting, please comment below so I can update my reader list of "Praying Partners." I can remember when most of the Answered Prayers were listed under the "Praying Partners," and I told Katy that it proved to me God is still in the miracle making business.

So, whatcha waiting for? Go give her a big ol' hug!

Elaine

Just wanted to let you know....

Grrr....

My poll over --------------------> wasn't working, so I had to take it down. When it was last working, I believe the vote was 3 Girls and 2 Boys... So you must cast your vote in the comment section below. Sorry for the inconvenience to you all, but I hope you play along anyway :)

Elaine

A Little of This...A Little of That...

We are very excited to find out on June 24 if we are having a 2nd little boy or a little girl. I have added a poll over -----------------------> Be sure to cast your vote now.


Have you tried this?



It's very yummy! Also, I have found that I am in love with all things vanilla this summer, including these:


They smell so good and will only be around for a short time, so be sure to stop by your local Bath & Body Works and sniff them all!

Because of my revived loved for Vanilla, I've also been addicted to these:


Other than these new developments, not a lot of exciting things going on in the K household. I hope you are all doing well!

Elaine

First Haircut 06/08/10

Here Baby K is getting ready for his big haircut! He has already decided this isn't going to be fun! Still crying!!! Is she finished yet, Mommy? Paw Paw didn't know what he was getting in to!

Teething Bites!

TEETHING BITES!!!!

Baby K is cutting all 4 of his baby molars at once. So, life at the K household has been a bit irritable, dramatic, and sleep deprived. He won't eat anything! Since he won't eat anything, he is waking from hunger. He is waking 4-5 times per night. At times I will go in to rock him to back to sleep and check his diaper. At times, I am making him just cry it out. This is heart breaking, but necessary. NO ONE is happy in the K household at this moment.

I have tried alternating Ty.lenol and Mot.rin. We have tried teething tablets--which some people swear by, but I honestly have no clue what they could do. [Have you ever tried those yourself?] He is refusing cold foods such as popsicles, ice cream, jello, or chilled fruit. We even bought some

What a rip off!!!!! This stuff is $13 for a six pack. You can buy six packs of other things *cough, cough* cheaper than that! He took one drink and refused it. He will drink juice and regular milk, but I am getting really concerned about his not eating.

The only thing I haven't tried is Orajel! He is already drooling terribly, and I have read that Orajel makes babies drool even more and can produce a choking hazard.

What worked for your toddler? Are there any remedies out there I can try to provide relief? What should I do about the refusal to eat? Advice welcome!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! It's going to be in the 90's here in NC! I love summer :) I am now 16 weeks pregnant. I still haven't felt new Baby K move, but am anticipating that any day now!

Elaine

You aren't alone...

Recognize any of these people?














It's Brooke Shields, Jennifer Lopez, Celine Dion, Marcia Cross, and Courtney Cox.

Want to know why I chose all of these beautiful women? They all--like myself and many of you--experienced some form of infertility. Although IF is still considered a bit taboo to talk about, I wish these women were more public about their experiences.

Ever feel like you are walking in this journey alone? You aren't.

Random Post

-Go here to read a prayer request from my friend Janna.

-Go here to read a prayer request from my friend Joannah.

-I finally finished reading The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. Unlike his other novels, I found this one to be predictable. It took me almost 3 months to finish it because half way through I could tell what the outcome was going to be. I typically love his books, and although I didn't hate this one, it wasn't my favorite.

-I think Baby K has infintigo. He has had a little rash under his nose and around his lips for about a month now. I can get it better by applying aquaphor, but it always comes back. So, I'm not sure if it is infintigo or some sort of food allergy. Never the less, tomorrow we have a doctor appt to see if we can clear it up for good.

-I am taking a class online this summer. I really hate online classes and the amount of work which comes with them, but I am really enjoying this class. We were required to create a class blog on Word.press, and I'll confess...I'm kind of loving Word.press compared to blogger.

-I nearly survived the Grey's Anatomy finally. With the season ending so suspenseful, it really proved how mediocre this season has been. But, the finally--Wow, is all I can say!

What are you guys reading now? I need a new book :)

May 17

Since my last post, the spotting has stopped. I had my 13 week appointment and everything still seems good with Baby-on-the-way. Not much of anything really exciting to report going on these days. I hope you all are having a blessed Monday!

Basket of Nerves

I am 12w2d pregnant and I am a basket case. My anxiety has sky rocketed with this pregnancy compared to when I was pregnant with Baby K. I called the dr. on Tues to request to be seen because I was having some very mild cramping. I really felt as if I were going to have a panic attack before I could get to the office. I couldn't see Dr. Wonderful, but I saw the NP who I thought was excellent. She was completely compassionate and understanding to my concerns. She did an internal exam and my cervix is still closed. She said my uterus is a nice round size. And, thankfully, we were able to find the baby's heartbeat on the doppler. It was a nice, strong heartrate of 164.

She also told me that although it wasn't completely unheard of, at 12 weeks having a miscarriage is extremely uncommon. She even told me, "your chance of miscarriage are diminishing while you sit here." That made me feel much better.

I left with a sigh of relief and a diagnosis that the cramping was coming from a ligament that is close to where my uterus is expanding.

Yesterday, I had a great day. The cramping had completely subsided and I felt really good--more confident. When I arrived home from school around 9 pm, I volunteered to put Baby K to bed. K has been so good about preventing me from lifting him. He's such a big boy now--almost 26lbs. So, K carried him upstairs and put him in my arms so I could rock him to sleep. After rocking him, I stood to lay him down inside of his crib.

Then I went to the bathroom. That's when I saw it... Brown spotting!

I admit, I have researched all there is to be researched about pregnancy and spotting since I experienced it here. I know that brown is not a cause of concern...

So, why do I fall apart? Why do I feel as if my body is playing mind games on me? Why am I "over-reacting"?

I called my nurse to report the spotting and ask if it was because of the pelvic exam. She agrees that it is likely the culprit, but I have been instructed to keep my eye on it and if it gets worse to call immediately. Or, if cramping begins go to the ER.

Praise God for no cramping!

So, am I a basket case? I never experienced any of this with Baby K...so this is all new to me. It's killing K that he can't "fix it" to make me feel comfortable in this pregnancy. It's killing me that I won't feel comfortable until I'm holding this sweet baby in my arms on Nov. 10.

Prayers appreciated for my body to cooperate and to get my anxiety under control.

Sorry, I haven't posted ultrasound pics. I will do that soon--perhaps after Mother's Day. I am still praying for so many of you in waiting.