Friday, August 13, 2010
I finally finished up my Summer Semester! I am currently on a short break before the Fall Semester begins, so I have spent many evenings catching up on house chores I let fall to the side while I concentrated on school. I have also came home each day from work and taken a short nap. I think I once underestimated the power of sleep. It's funny how when you feel as if you aren't getting any, you are gently reminded that your body needs rest--it's something you should make time for even when you feel as if there aren't enough hours in the day.
I'll also make a small confession here: I'm weary. My heart is so heavy for several friends right now, some of which are you. Does it feel like every where you look that the world is in turmoil? People are hurting...and it really breaks my heart to feel this powerless over certain circumstances. Patience has never been a strong virtue of mine. (I prayed for patience once, and it took my five years to become pregnant with my son. I vowed never again to pray for patience.) The truth is that waiting on God to answer your prayers is so hard... especially when your heart is aching and you seek immediate relief. I know that we are to seek refuge at the foot of the cross; that should be enough. However, the human aspect of us all often wonders what to do next when that doesn't feel like it's enough.
A good friend once told me that "we as humans are conditioned to always want more." I've found that to be true. I once thought that having a baby would complete my life and it would be all I ever needed in my life. Yet, I recently have found myself dissatisfied with "worldly" possessions. I am really unhappy with my job; I don't like my appearance; I have new car fever... see? I always want more. When is God's best going to be good enough for me?
This is just a post which has been laying on my heart lately. It could possibly be hormone related or that I am simply emotionally and physically exhausted. I just feel a huge burden for us all right now, and it makes me anxiously await the return of Christ, so that all of these trials and tribulations are things of the past.