Opinions Wanted...

There is a question that has been really convicting me lately. I would like some insight into what all of you think. This is probably more appropriate for a message board, but I really want you to feel free to leave as detailed of a comment as necessary.

so, here it is...

Okay, I know that sometimes God allows us to go through things to draw us closer to Himself. For whatever reasons unbeknownst to us, God has a purpose in allowing us to walk through some valleys, however deep and lonely they may feel to us.

I also know that sometimes Satan attacks our lives to try to distract us from God's will for our lives or worse, to try to get us to be the straying sheep that Jesus has to come after to rescue.

My question is:

How do we know the difference? In other words, how do we know when it is God allowing us to go through something versus Satan having a battlefield with our lives? Is there a difference?

Opinions wanted!

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful that we actually received some rain this week. We are still so many inches short this year and most of the region is in an extreme drought.

I am thankful for bottle water in the event we wouldn't be receiving rain. I think (in this area) we have a 90 day supply remaining, which sounds like a lot, but not for the +1 million people who have to share it.

I am thankful (again) that my hand wasn't seriously injured in my cooking catastrophe on Sunday.

I am thankful that my migraine went away (finally! ) and equally thankful for Ex.edrin Migraine which seems to be the only over the counter med that will alleviate the pain.

I am thankful for the Internet, because without it, I would still be wondering how all my blogger buddies renamed hyperlinks. (If you don't know how, all you have to do is type the word you want to rename it as, hi-light it, clink on the Link icon, and enter the address as you would for any hyperlink. Your high lighted word automatically become the link. Yes, it's that easy!!!)

I am thankful for the relationship I share with my mother-in-law. She and i had such a great talk on Friday night. I am thankful that she prays for me and I can go to her when I have questions about the Bible or other things. I am thankful that her advice will align with God's word. (Some married couples don't have a good relationship with their in-laws. I can't imagine that type of relationship with my in-laws. I love them dearly, and I know I am blessed to be a part of two wonderful, Christian families.)

I am thankful for my church and the wonderful services we had on Homecoming Sunday. I am thankful for our preachers who constantly pray for our services and members, even when I fail to do so. I am thankful that 3 members have chosen to follow God's calling into the ministry and that they have our preacher and associate preacher as mentors.

I am thankful to have bought 2 Christmas presents thus far, and only have a good 15 or so to go. Speaking of which, I am thankful that it's only 61 days until Christmas now (have I mentioned that I just love this time of year?). I love celebrating the birth of our Lord and the way the Spirit feels the air during the upcoming holiday season.

I am thankful for the retailers who still refer to things as "Christmas" such-and-such, instead of the politically correct "Holiday" versions.

I am thankful to be alive another day to enjoy the love of my Savior, family, and friends.

I am thankful that the firemen in CA have reduced what were 21 fires down to 14 (maybe less now) and that people are being able to return to their homes. I am thankful that the Lord is controlling the wind to reduce the risk of new fires developing.

Have a blessed Day!

Weekend recap...

Yesterday was homecoming at our church. It was such a good service. You could feel God moving from the moment service began. I am so blessed to be a member there. Our guest speaker was really good. His sermon was based on this. It was good to be reminded that God answers prayers based on your faith in His ability to answer them.

Last night, I had this bright idea to cook dinner (which I don't do often. K likes to cook...so I let him! I would rather clean the kitchen any day, and after reading this paragraph, you'll understand why.) I was steaming some veggies and had too much water in my pot. When the water started to boil, K poured some of it out in our sink, while I stood there and watched. I don't know what I was thinking--I began to load our dish washer with dishes which were in our sink. I picked up a bowl and turned it over to empty it--which was full to the brim of this boiling water and managed to scaled my hand pretty good! Duh...I just stood there and watched him pour it out...I wasn't even thinking that the water could be hot, so I have a 1st degree burn all over my right hand (I'm right handed, mind you) and between my fingers. It looks like a sunburn today, but is still pretty darn sore! It could of been much worse, even though it hurt like the dickens, so I am thankful that it wasn't. So, cooking is dangerous for anyone as accident prone as I am, so I won't be doing that again anytime soon.

Today has been sort of "yuck!" First, I didn't sleep well last night. I awoke every little bit with my hand just throbbing and had to find the ice pack in the covers to alleviate some of the sting. I woke up the last time around 4 am to K snoring so loudly! I just couldn't go back to sleep
Now, I have had a migraine all day which is a constant reminder that AF is looming nearby. It is raining, which we need desperately (Thank you Lord) but makes for a dreary day!

Can you tell, I'm kind of whiny due to lack of sleep, this headache, and my sore hand. I'm hoping this headache leaves me before bible study tonight!

Thankful Thursday

I don't know about you all, but this week has been so long. I've spent most of my time watching the clock at work, counting down the minutes until the weekend...

I am definitely thankful that it's Thursday. Not only is it pay day, it means tomorrow is Friday and that's one of my favorite days of the week.

I am thankful for good friends, despite the miles between them, who remind you that you should stop...take a deep breath....and find things to be thankful for today. (Thanks Rebecca!)

I am thankful that I was able to meet with most of my friends tonight to watch Gray's Anatomy.(I just love fall TV and more often than none, find myself tivo'g almost everything!)

I am thankful that I managed another peaceful, quiet week with my co-worker. There has been so much tension, but I have managed to hold myself together and remain professional for my department's sake.

I am thankful that the leaves are finally beginning to change here. I always enjoy this time of year most. For some strange reason, around this time every year, I begin getting really excited about the holidays--Christmas mostly. (It's 68 days til Christmas!)

I am thankful that K and I went to my college for homecoming. I love that we are getting out of the house and doing new things. And every second I get to spend with my handsome husband, I'm most graciously thankful for.

I'm thankful for a quiet weekend at home this weekend. K will be hunting, so I will get to relax and spend some quiet time with God and my bible study without interruptions or distractions. I am thankful that I have already cleaned my house this week so that I don't have that as a crutch to put off doing the work.

I am thankful for hand sanitizer since I heard on the news that MRSA (a serious staph infection invading hospitals and schools) can one day be more deadly than H.I.V. (Lord, okay, this may have me a little freaked out, but I trust you to put an end to this super-bug since you are the Master or all Doctors.)

I am thankful that a fellow church member and blogger, Pam, is in the Holy Land and that the Lord is keeping her safe.

I am thankful for all my blogger buddies who read and comment faithfully are now referred to as friends.

I am thankful that I am nearing my 1ww and that every failure brings with it a new try.

Have a Blessed Weekend!

My attempt at a Positive Spin...

I told most of you that I am trying to train myself to think more optimistically. I believe most of how we feel is how we are determined to feel anyway, and if I want to be more positive, I must first choose to be. I am officially in the 2ww now. I don't feel very optimistic about its success, but I want to be more optimistic if it wasn't a success. So here, I have decided to list all the reasons NOT being pregnant would not be the end of the world... don't know if it will work, but here's my A+ effort at trying.

Advantages of not being pregnant this month or already being a mommy
1. I get to sleep in late anytime I want to on the weekends.
2. Every vacation is like a honeymoon for K and I.
3. I don't have to worry about if I do/don't have a sitter if we want to go do something spontaneously.
4. My clothes still fit me.
5. I don't have to be responsible for anyone 24/7.
6. When you have kids, you lose any days off you would have--there is no longer such a thing.
7. The money I would have to use on "kid stuff" I can spend on other things.
8. I am going back to school in Jan to become a teacher and I'll get to have as many as 30 kids at once.
9. I have time for my own hobbies or I can be completely lazy for no reason at all.
10. When I get sick, I have my choice of thousands of over the counter medicines, and I can stay in bed and recuperate for as long as I feel like it.
11. I can still eat sushi and shell fish (which are two of my favorites!)
12. I can drink milk without getting squeamish.
13. I don't have to be close to the nearest bathroom in case I need to tinkle or vomit.
14. I can eat as much junk food as I want and think I have a proper diet.
15. I can consume as much caffeine as I need.
16. When I get a positive home pregnancy test, I will be pleasantly shocked!
17.I don't have to worry about doing too much (or too little).
18.I don't have any stretch marks.
19.I get to watch grown up TV instead of cartoons.
20.I don't have to worry about being too loud in case others are sleeping.
21. My breasts aren't lactating.

Come on Ladies...there are others, which I will gladly add to this list. (And yes, I know...for every one of these reasons, I can list a thousand disadvantages of not being pregnant or a mommy...) For now, this seems to work...I feel better. Hope you feel better too!

Thankful Thursday (on Friday)

I forgot to do this last night, so I'm posting it now...

I am thankful that K and I spent last Saturday together. It's hunting season, and he's been away from home quite a bit lately. Last weekend, I politely asked that we have an all day date on Saturday, and he accepted. No grumbling or moaning...he said, "Sure." We spontaneously drove up to Boone for his college homecoming game. We drove all along the parkway stopping by those little shops. Once we made it back home, we decided to go out to dinner and do some shopping. I enjoyed the entire day, and it was so good for us.

I am thankful that this weekend is homecoming at my college and that we are going to go to that too.

I am thankful that its finally a little cooler outside.

I am thankful for another great week at bible study and that I have not given up on doing the work.

I am extremely thankful for April's five year old son having clear scans. April is a co-worker who has become a very dear friend to me and been great at encouraging me at times. (Lord, thank you for placing Barnabas' in my life everywhere!) L was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma last year. He is considered to be in remission, but has to go every few months to make sure he doesn't have any new cancer. Monday was his first scans in several months and they were clear! PRAISE GOD! This little boy will actually get to enjoy 1st grade! Last year, was a very difficult year for their family and he was very discouraged by missing so much school...he was in Kindergarten! What an exciting year to be so sick!

Have a great day!

Looking at Pumpkins differently now...

We've all probably gotten this by email, but I wanted to share...

A woman was asked by a coworker, "What is it like to be a Christian?"

The coworker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff.He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

Nothing really interesting...

Not too much is going on in the IF front. I am currently on cd12 so I am approaching what should be my peak--whether it actually is, and if I release a healthy egg, is a different story. I miss the days when I didn't care. My life seemed less stressful when I was content with life the way it was, and K was the one with baby fever. Since my m/c's, it's consumed every other thought for me. I just wish it didn't bother me so much and that I was more content.

A dear friend recommended this bible verse to me. I can't remember if I have shared it before, but repetition never hurts:

Philippians 4:11

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."

If only it were as easy to do as it is to read. I am to be content--no matter what state I am in. I have this verse everywhere. It's taped to my computer at work, it's the signature on my email. Just a friendly reminder from the One who knows my deepest hearts desire that I am to be content.

Today, as I was driving home, I was listening to a local Christian radio station when I heard a song. It's called "Bring on the Rain." How well stated! I felt as if Mercy Me was my Barnabas for this moment (For those of you in the bible study, you know what I mean. For those of you who aren't, Barnabas was used over and over in the Bible to be of encouragement to believers and non-believers. He was said to be full of the Holy Spirit and faith.) What a privilege only given to few these days. (Lord, bring on whatever circumstance (rain) it takes to keep me in the center of Your will. When I bicker and whine, remind me that it's the rain that makes life flourish and beautiful.)

Quick update on my co-worker. She is back at work now. We still haven't spoken. In fact, she hasn't as much as even made eye contact with me. I can't push all the blame on her though. I am not actually going out of my way to make amends either. I'm not bitter and I don't dislike her. I dislike her decisions, but they are her decisions to make.

I could really use some advice on how to handle this situation appropriately. It's a touchy subject for myself, but I have to find a way to move forward and not allow my personal emotions to get involved, or let this affect my walk with the Lord. (Satan, nice try...but it didn't work!)

She doesn't need my forgiveness, and I'm not sure why we are even angry anymore. I don't think we will ever be the same, but there has to be a way to use these circumstances to give God the glory. I do know that I want my reaction to be Christ-like...but as requested, advice welcome. Not sure what a Christian response would be for this situation. Who can be a Barnabas?

Thankful Thursday

It's Thursday, and most of this week has been a blur for me. I am thankful for the bible study I am in on Monday nights. It has gotten me back in the habit of reading my bible, talking to God, praying for other people's needs...and without those things, I really don't know what this week would of been like for me. (Thanks Deidre, Pam, and Mindy!)

I'm thankful for getting all green lights on my way home from work today. That's kind of corny, but makes for a much more peaceful way home.

I'm thankful for my husband, who I snapped at this morning for no reason at all, and equally thankful that he is so understanding.

I'm thankful for this blog and my few readers (who are the BEST!)--without it I would of been on information overload and on the verge of explosion. I'm thankful for the encouragement it has brought me amidst all this emptiness I feel.

I'm thankful for my mom--who at times drives me nuts, but always means well...even when she is texting me at daybreak (she's new to this, by the way, and she's practicing on me) with some inspirational message I don't really feel like hearing...but need to. I'm thankful she doesn't care if I text her back to say I really needed to hear that message.

I'm thankful that I managed to exercise ONE time this week, so it got me out of the house and from feeling sorry for myself.

I'm thankful my co-worker texted me today with she wants to talk, even though I am just not ready.

I'm thankful to you for making it to the end of this blog. I know it seems sort of depressing.

updated: I'm thankful for the rain we received today that we desperately needed.