Can you all keep a secret?

I have been impatiently waiting to tell you all.....after 5 years of ttc....and 2 miscarriages....I am currently 6weeks pregnant. My projected due date: Feb 17, 2009.

This came as a total surprise to me and K. I've known for about 2 weeks. It's been so hard not to shout this from the roof tops. I want to be so very excited--but history speaks loudly, and I am so very scared.

I called my doc on June 12 and told him of my positive test. He wanted me to come in immediately. I saw the nurse who loaded me down with vitamins, magazines, pamphlets... At one point, I had to just say..."I really appreciate you giving me all this stuff, but I'm just not ready to be reading any pregnancy magazines." She understood. I didn't get to see the doc, but he prescribed progesterone suppositories to be taken at night until I am 12 weeks.

I actually had to go back to the doc last week because I developed a UTI. This time, I was able to see Dr. R himself. He asked me how I felt. I explained I was cautiously over the moon. He then asked me if I had any ultrasounds scheduled. I told him the nurse set my first two appointments (July 9th for an OB workup; Aug 13 ultrasound--I would be 13 weeks). He asked how I felt about that, and I told him I was really nervous of another blighted ovum. So, he is bringing me in early for a vitality ultrasound.

This is set for Monday, June 30. Please, please, please....don't stop praying for me now. I want so much to believe that this time will be different. I know that God already knows the outcome. Each morning, I say to myself, "Elaine, we just have to make it though today...." I am trying not to worry about the future, but as you can tell, my anxiety is at a peak.

We finished up our foster parent training this past weekend. We still have our home study to do, and CPR/First Aid.

To all my sweet friends....I've felt defeated more times than I could count on this IF journey. I learn every day that the Lord still answers prayers. Whatever happens, we will thank him for giving us the time we have had to love this little one whom we've never met.

What I would give to meet this little one.... I am high risk, and I have been ordered by Dr. R to abstain from sex until 8-10 weeks. He wants to see the baby's heart beat first. So, please, please pray for a healthy baby next Monday....with a good, strong heart beat.