You aren't alone...

Recognize any of these people?














It's Brooke Shields, Jennifer Lopez, Celine Dion, Marcia Cross, and Courtney Cox.

Want to know why I chose all of these beautiful women? They all--like myself and many of you--experienced some form of infertility. Although IF is still considered a bit taboo to talk about, I wish these women were more public about their experiences.

Ever feel like you are walking in this journey alone? You aren't.

Random Post

-Go here to read a prayer request from my friend Janna.

-Go here to read a prayer request from my friend Joannah.

-I finally finished reading The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. Unlike his other novels, I found this one to be predictable. It took me almost 3 months to finish it because half way through I could tell what the outcome was going to be. I typically love his books, and although I didn't hate this one, it wasn't my favorite.

-I think Baby K has infintigo. He has had a little rash under his nose and around his lips for about a month now. I can get it better by applying aquaphor, but it always comes back. So, I'm not sure if it is infintigo or some sort of food allergy. Never the less, tomorrow we have a doctor appt to see if we can clear it up for good.

-I am taking a class online this summer. I really hate online classes and the amount of work which comes with them, but I am really enjoying this class. We were required to create a class blog on Word.press, and I'll confess...I'm kind of loving Word.press compared to blogger.

-I nearly survived the Grey's Anatomy finally. With the season ending so suspenseful, it really proved how mediocre this season has been. But, the finally--Wow, is all I can say!

What are you guys reading now? I need a new book :)

May 17

Since my last post, the spotting has stopped. I had my 13 week appointment and everything still seems good with Baby-on-the-way. Not much of anything really exciting to report going on these days. I hope you all are having a blessed Monday!

Basket of Nerves

I am 12w2d pregnant and I am a basket case. My anxiety has sky rocketed with this pregnancy compared to when I was pregnant with Baby K. I called the dr. on Tues to request to be seen because I was having some very mild cramping. I really felt as if I were going to have a panic attack before I could get to the office. I couldn't see Dr. Wonderful, but I saw the NP who I thought was excellent. She was completely compassionate and understanding to my concerns. She did an internal exam and my cervix is still closed. She said my uterus is a nice round size. And, thankfully, we were able to find the baby's heartbeat on the doppler. It was a nice, strong heartrate of 164.

She also told me that although it wasn't completely unheard of, at 12 weeks having a miscarriage is extremely uncommon. She even told me, "your chance of miscarriage are diminishing while you sit here." That made me feel much better.

I left with a sigh of relief and a diagnosis that the cramping was coming from a ligament that is close to where my uterus is expanding.

Yesterday, I had a great day. The cramping had completely subsided and I felt really good--more confident. When I arrived home from school around 9 pm, I volunteered to put Baby K to bed. K has been so good about preventing me from lifting him. He's such a big boy now--almost 26lbs. So, K carried him upstairs and put him in my arms so I could rock him to sleep. After rocking him, I stood to lay him down inside of his crib.

Then I went to the bathroom. That's when I saw it... Brown spotting!

I admit, I have researched all there is to be researched about pregnancy and spotting since I experienced it here. I know that brown is not a cause of concern...

So, why do I fall apart? Why do I feel as if my body is playing mind games on me? Why am I "over-reacting"?

I called my nurse to report the spotting and ask if it was because of the pelvic exam. She agrees that it is likely the culprit, but I have been instructed to keep my eye on it and if it gets worse to call immediately. Or, if cramping begins go to the ER.

Praise God for no cramping!

So, am I a basket case? I never experienced any of this with Baby K...so this is all new to me. It's killing K that he can't "fix it" to make me feel comfortable in this pregnancy. It's killing me that I won't feel comfortable until I'm holding this sweet baby in my arms on Nov. 10.

Prayers appreciated for my body to cooperate and to get my anxiety under control.

Sorry, I haven't posted ultrasound pics. I will do that soon--perhaps after Mother's Day. I am still praying for so many of you in waiting.