Nov 14

I am thankful for my mom and dad. I have two of the best parents on Earth. I am really blessed to be a child of parents who are still married. Sadly, this is almost unheard of anymore. I can see how much they love each other.

I must tell you all too, that I am really thankful that my dad wasn't hurt worse than he was Friday night. I received a call around 8:30 from my mom telling me that my dad had an accident with a saw. As he was putting down hardwood flooring in their house, he cut his left had pretty bad. He had a 4.5 hour surgery last night where he lost his index finger, but the doctors are trying to save the others. We covet your prayers that his hand will heal quickly.

Nov 13

I received some really exciting news yesterday. Go over and congratulate The Whites who recently found out that they are expecting #2, due in June 2010. After a long battle with infertility, God surprised them with this wonderful news!

Also, I added an updated picture of Baby K over there ------------------>
He just turned 9 months old this week. He has 2 teeth, is crawling EVERYWHERE, is pulling up, saying Da-Da (and on occassion, "No No No."), waving bye-bye. He has stranger anxiety and can't stand for people he doesn't know to touch him. He still isn't sleeping through the night *sigh*, but the exhaustion is so worth it. I bought him this CD yesterday and it is so good. I love, love, love it!




This CD is packed full of Christmas songs about the birth of our Lord. (Which brings me to something else to be thankful for: that some companies still find it "politically correct" to have christian meaning behind the season. Praise God!)

Nov 12

Wow, I didn't realize how difficult this would be. I have so much to be thankful for, but when counting my blessings, I must include the smaller blessings in my life and some of that you wouldn't care to much to hear about...so, I'm trying my best to give you the most important things.

Today, I am thankful for forgiveness. Without that, I wouldn't have the relationship I have with my family for acting a fool when I was in high school. Without it, I would have someone mad at me constantly with all of my imperfections. Without it, I would be mad at someone else constantly. Without it, I wouldn't be saved by God's AMAZING Grace!
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I have to update this, because I have something else to be so thankful for today. Go over and congratulate Charne on the birth of her daughter! She has waited such a long time for this moment, and I couldn't be happier for her. God is so good!

Nov 11

Today, I am thankful for all of the Veterans serving worldwide to protect this wonderful country we call home. I also am thankful for the firemen/women, rescue workers, and police officers (even YOU, Mr. State Trooper, who gave me a speeding ticket yesterday.) I pray for all of your continued safety and for God to pour out blessing upon blessing on you and your families. Thank you for serving the people so that we feel safe.

Nov 10

Today I am thankful that the Lord cares for His scattered Sheep. As some may stray from the flock, He, Himself, goes out to care for and bring them back. He doesn't delegate this task to anyone else; He never gets overwhelmed or stressed out like we allow ourselves to be. Yet, He personally rescues each one, even his most unworthy servants. Isn't this amazing?

Being Thankful

This weekend, I attempted something I had never before tried: I cooked a turkey. Now, for some of you, this may not be a big deal, but for me this was HUGE. I admit that I don't enjoy cooking. I'm not very good at. I'm not confident at all in anything I make; I prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I just don't do it. But, alas, this weekend I faced my fears and cooked a Thanksgiving meal for K and I and our parents. To my surprise, it was really good. I may have to give cooking a shot.

Eating turkey, stuffing, and fixings put me into a thankful spirit. So, to copy my dear friend Deidre, I am going to try to post every day with something I am thankful for during the month of November. Since I am already 9 days behind, today you get an extra long list.

1. I am thankful for my amazing husband. He helps so much around the house and with Baby K. I am so lucky to have him as my husband and the father of my child. He is a very special person; I am deeply blessed to have him in my life.

2. I am thankful for my equally amazing son. I had to wait five years for him, but he is nothing short of being perfect. He has a smile that melts my heart. He's 9 months old tomorrow, and growing ever so fast, but I am so blessed to be his mommy. His only word is Da-da, but I know he loves me every time he gives me sweet baby kisses. (He rarely shares those with Da-da.)

3. I am thankful for having a job. In the county I live in, the unemployment rate is nearly 12%. My job drives me crazy at times and stresses me out. But so many people around me would love to have a job, even if it is one that they hate.

4. I am thankful for the bible study I am doing. I mentioned this last post, but it has been really great for me spiritually. I find myself looking forward to the next day's lesson. It has been very enlightening so far, and I hope to gain new insight upon completing it.

5. I am thankful for friends who encourage me during my imperfections. Thank you for always being there for me and praying for me. Thank you for being a strong support system for me. (You know who you are!)

6. I am thankful that school is almost over. Only 3 weeks to go. I will never again take 9 credit hours while working full time. This has been so draining on me personally and professionally. I love studying education and I can hardly wait until I am responsible for a handful of students. But, school has caused me to shift priorites and rely heavily on other people. I look forward to having time to breath again in the coming weeks.

7. I am thankful for my grandma who did something really special for K and me this weekend. She knew that our pocketbook has been strained with all of the doctor appts we have had lately and she helped us out by giving us some much needed $. That was so sweet of her. I felt so relieved I cried. I asked her why, and she said, "God just told her we needed it."

8. I am thankful that God always, always provides. Even when we don't deserve it, he pours out blessing upon blessing on us.

9. I am thankful for the sunshine the past few days. I'm in love with summer. I love basking in the sun and laying out by the pool. Winter/Fall has never been a favorite time of year for me because I don't like being cold. The past few days has been Spring-like. B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!! I know it won't last long, so I'm savoring every second right now.

Until tomorrow...hope you all find time to be thankful today! I love you all!

Social Networking Woes....2

Social Networking.

It so funny how addicting these sites can be. What was life like before you knew the status of 400 people who you haven't seen in +10 years? Have you ever stopped and wondered if the reason you stopped talking to them in the first place was because you weren't the friends you thought you were or you grew apart? Or, because as you got older, you changed, your values change, you become two totally different people as adults.

Cracked.

That is what social networking has done to my Christian life. I reconnected to all these people who couldn't have cared less what my walk with God looked like. And instead of joining me, I slowly joined them. Now, I must interject here that there have been some really good connections for me. People I once was really close to. It was fun to see how their life turned out and revive our friendships. But for the most part, it really hindered my relationship with God. My prayer life suffered; my quite times stopped; my attendance to church hit rock bottom.

I won't go into my much of my testimony. I will save that for another post. I will say that I am a suicide survivor. I overdosed on Tylenol when I was 17 years old which damaged my liver. So tell me folks---why on earth would I want to turn to alcohol now as I have "reconnected" with friends? I'm so foolish at times. I found myself in pictures on friends pages with drink in hand. I didn't even stop to think how I looked to the world, or what that may have done to my testimony. I just did it.

I am fighting back.

I found a bible my grandma gave me. It's called "Time with God: The New Testament for Busy People." It's on my desk at work, so that before I even begin my day I read the lesson. It has been so good to get back into God's word. I'm filling in the cracks, bit by bit with Scripture. (This has helped in more ways than social networking too. My job has been extremely stressful lately. Upper management has really cracked the whip and we have lost many of the freedoms we once had. So, I pray every morning for my workday, my co-workers, and other requests.)

I pray that God will continue to discipline me. I want to grow and prosper as a Christian. And, I want a life that reflects Him. I want to do something that matters with my life. I want to be surrounded by fellow Christians who have my best interest at heart and who will give me Christian advice and encouragement.

Social Networking Woes...

I have been away for quite some time. Life is so busy right now. I am taking 9 hrs of classes, and Baby K is now (almost) 9 months old! Eeeeek!!!! Between classes and work and family...I've been trying to keep up with him. He is crawling everywhere. If I ever, EVER thought I was busy before, I totally take it back. Because this is the definition of BUSY!!!!!!! In other news he has continued to have ear infection after infection so last Friday we had no choice but to get tubes. Last night, however, we spent 5 hrs in the ER because he wouldn't stop vomiting. He was dehydrated and had to get fluids. So right now, he is fighting something viral. (If I only had a $1 for every time I've heard that said in the last 9 months.) He seems to be much better right now, and is resting as I type this.

This is just a snippet of my post to come. It's been jumbled in my head the past few weeks. I'll just leave you with this: Social Networking has put a crack in my Christian life.

I'll tell you all about it in the next few days and how I'm filling in the cracks with a new Bible study I am extremely excited about.

Hope this finds you all (if there are any of you left) well!!!!

Look who's 7 Months old....

He can sit up, clap his hands, and pull up on some things. He has 2 teeth coming in on the bottom...where has the time gone?????

Counting Down...

107 shopping days until Christmas!

Turning over a new leaf....

I am getting into the fall spirit. I've noticed the tree tops beginning to change colors; some leaves are even falling to the ground. I've noticed the nip in the air is changing. I've also noticed the stores bringing out holiday items...Halloween, Thanksgiving, even Christmas.

I've already started on my Christmas shopping for Baby K. I am buying odds and ends as I see them, but I know he will get so much that he won't know what to play with first. I am so blessed.

I did something this morning, I hadn't done in quite a while. I opened up a Bible Study book. My relationship with God has taken a drastic turn in the past year. It's almost ironic that this time last year, as I was pregnant with Baby K and praying more often than I had my entire life, that I find myself rarely praying at all these days. Lately, I haven't opened my bible studies; I have been skipping out on church services; I have been back sliding. [Pam, this is why you haven't seen me at church lately]

I've been under conviction for a few weeks now, about recommitting my life, and I am still praying about it. I am almost ready I think...but still praying. So tonight, Baby K will get one Christmas present early. I will be opening up the Baby Bible I got him, and we will be reading it before bed. [Satan, you can't have my family...I'm taking it back! And God's by my side!]

School and a little chit-chat with K....

I began my fall semester this week, and I am already kicking myself for signing up for 9 credit hours. Sure, 9 hrs doesn't seem like a lot to most students, but it's a lot to anyone who works full time. I have class M-W from 6-9pm. [which means I won't see my husband or child very much during the week, and when I do, I have to prioritize family, friends, cleaning, cooking, laundry, homework, church, work, shopping, ...and I could go on and on. Seriously, I need about 10 extra hours in each day to get everything finished.]

Last night was the first night of my Adolescent Literature class. The instructor sent us a schedule a week or so ago of 12 novels we have to read by December. Well, as if that weren't enough I found out in class that I have to read an additional 3 novels of my own choosing... 15 books by December! Not only does this seem difficult, it's going to be down right impossible! I'm not a big reader...I read leisurely on occassion, but honestly, I stay so busy with work/school/life that I would rather sleep in my spare time. Sad, I know...but true.

Last night, K and I held this conversation:

Me: [Looking at the clock which read 11pm] I have to read 15 books from now until December. I seriously have to read 1.5 books per week to make that happen. I feel like I need to start one of them now.

K: Well, I know you are going to be very busy this semester, and I will do all I can to be supportive of that...BUT...

Me: [rolling my eyes to the ever imminent "but." I have already decided I'm not going to like this statement, no matter what it is.]

K: ...you have to remember you are a wife and mother and we have needs too.

Me: [I was so right. I did NOT like this statement.]

Me: Honey, I know that. BUT...you have to remember that you have one night each week without a wife and child (because my mom picks up Baby K on Tues and I get him from her on my way home from school) to do all the things that you want to do or work on your school stuff without distractions [because to be fair he is working on his Master's but only taking one class] and I don't get this. So, you are going to have to share my free time between Baby K and school assignments. That's just the way it is until December.


I think I hurt his feelings. But, when he said he has needs...you all know what kind of needs those are, and I know he has them. I'm doing my best to be submissive, but I honestly can't keep up. And now, I'm sorry, but I'm tired...and well...I'll leave it at that. I would rather sleep sometimes. Have I ever mentioned my love for sleep or the fact that Baby K is still waking 2 times each night?

How have you all managed everything about life after the kiddo's came? Did you find that your s.ex drive plummeted, because mine died? It actually passed on to the world hear-after a long time before Baby K was born...another great thing Infertily robs us of.

Any advice?

Catching up...

I haven't really made this information public knowledge, but K and I are back on the infertility rollercoaster. We decided when Baby K was born that we didn't want to wait to ttc #2. Afterall, it took us 5 years to conceive #1. And no, this isn't a pregnancy annoncement...just an update to let you all know that we are back on the saddle, and it's still just as frustrating as I remember it being.

We still have 6 months to go before we can go back on meds, so until then we are depending on mother nature to do her thing. Doubt she will, but if so, I will be plesantly surprised. I know most of you are probably thinking, man...that was fast. Yes, I agree. But I don't want to become "that" person who was consumed by infertility, so we decided to go ahead and give the green light. Because if it isn't my ever waking moment, it won't hurt as much, right?

Wrong. It's still just as frustrating as I rememeber it. Baby K makes it hurt a little less, but it is still just as frustrating. Until then, I just give all of my love to the one blessing that God has given me...and we pray for those of you still waiting to get your miracles.

Is anyone out there?

I haven't really had a lot of extra time to blog lately. I'm hoping that I haven't managed to lose the few readers I had. I have been reading, but commenting and posting have certainly taken a back burner to other priorities. I have one week remaining of summer break before Fall 09 sememster starts. I can't believe I am already starting my second year of what will be my 2nd bachelor's degree. I have really enjoyed my classes so far, and I now understand why Teaching is the best profession on earth.

Anyway, I'm seeking your advice if you are out there. I have a little problem. To make a long story short, I use to be really good friends with a girl, whom we will call D. She was one of my best friends, even though there were some quirks about her that really un-nerved me. To spare you all the grusome details, I'll just say this: I said something aweful about D, even though it was true to how I felt, to another friend in email. I should have said it to D, but I didn't. That didn't change that it was how I felt. Well, D found out about it...not through hear-say but by cracking the password to my email. Part of my statement was made out of my insecurities during infertility. (we all know how crazy it can make you).

Am I alone to think that she was in the wrong too? Yes, I should have made my statement to her instead of someone else. And, I'll be honest, it was really on the verge of happening, because I had all I could handle...but I didnt.

It has been almost 3 years since then, and well...we are now just "acquaitances." We'll leave comments here and there on Facebook, but that is about the extent of our relationship. The worst part of all of this is how much I miss her son, H. I became really attached to H during all of my infertility struggles, and well...I lost him too in this process. I have apologized, and she has too, but it's just not the same, nor will it ever be.

Recently, I decided...I was over it. I miss her, yes, but I'm not going to put myself out there and beg to be friends again anymore. Since then, her grandpa died and I went to the funeral (because I know how important he was to her, and I still care about her), but we haven't spoken since then. It's really sad...

What is your advice on this situation. Do I just give it more time, even though it's been 3 years, or do I cut my losses. I think the thing that bothers me most is that while I was pregnant, I told her I really wanted her to be an important part of my son's life. She came to see him in the hospital when he was born, and a few times since, but she really doesn't acknowledge him at all.

Is this stupid? Advice anyone?

Happy 6 months Baby K!

My baby boy is six months old today. When I began praying for him, I began bargaining with God. I promise to do this...I promise to do that. I had all intentions of being the best mother EVER, and oh how I have failed over and over again. I do try my best to be a great mom, but there are so many other things that I could do better. I will spare you all the details, but I will say that I have turned my prayer to God doing something really BIG in my life. And I trust that just as he answered my prayer for Baby K, he will also answer this prayer.

On a lighter note, hop over to Janna's blog and help count down the days until she makes her Little Bit's adoption final!!! It's less than 2 weeks away. I have followed her journey for a while (she may not even realize it, but she was the first to comment on my blog), and I could not be any happier for her!!!!

Checking in...

I am exhausted. For those of you who aren't aware, I am currently going back to school to become a teacher, in addition to working full time, being a wife to my wonderful husband & a mommy to a 5-month old (EEEK!!!!). To say my life is busy, is an understatement. I am blessed, none-the-less.

I have a complex about my life. You see, I thought expanding my family by 10 little toes would solve all of my insecurity issues. Some of you told me it wouldn't, that only I could change those... you were right. Having a baby has made me more secure in some ways, but I am still insecure in others.

Have you ever allowed yourself to love someone with every bit of your being? This is how I feel about my husband, my child, my parents... How on earth did that not scare the bee-gee-bee's out of you? It terrifies me. I mostly worry about if my marriage will abruptly end one day. It would devestate me. There isn't anything in particular that K does to make me feel this way. He tries to make me feel secure, but I still don't. I also worry about "what if something happens to me?" or worse, "What if something happens to him or Baby k? Or, my parents?"

I'm weird like that, I guess. I'm in a funky place right now. Emotionally, Socially, Spiritually. I am somewhere caught between where I was and where I want to be...and I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

I'm sorry this post is such a downer today. I'm in a rut. This is an odd request, and I'm sure I have left many of you lost, but would you mind praying for me today? Specifically that I stop feeling so insecure and trust people in my life more, that I get back to being spiritually where I was, and that I stop allowing Satan to have this hold over my "happiness," because I do know, clear-cut without a doubt, this is the Enemy.

Thank you all! I love you guys!

Greetings from Myrtle Beach, SC...

First and foremost, I need to start this post by thanking these guys:



You really made our trip to MB much easier since Baby K seems to enjoy your silly singing and dancing. Much to my displeasure, I have found myself also singing your stupid songs. "Wiggle-it party, wiggle-it party, wiggle-it party, snap, snap, snap; clap, clap, clap; wiggle your hips just like that." Now don't all rush out at once to buy it, but it did really make our drive much easier...

Now on to more important stuff.


This was just an idea I had on the beach, but isn't it just the cutest!?!


I think this is my favorite. He is so handsome here--ladies, watch out!


There is something so beautiful about the innocence of a child, and I have found that I notice Baby K's innocence most in his baby blue eyes...

Hope you all are having an amazing weekend! Looking forward to catching up on all of your posts.

Uh Oh...here we go again!!!! (with Update)

Guess who has an appointment today with the Allergist...Yep, Baby K. I'm pretty sure after being off his antibiotic for an entire 10 days--may I remind you it was a 20 day antibiotic this round--I'm willing to place my bet that he has [uh um...and we all say together] "ANOTHER EAR INFECTION." I just don't know what else to do for him. We've taken the paci, seen a chiropractor, pediatrician, ear, nose, and throat specialist, and allergist. As much as I hate to say it, tubes are probably our next step. I'm trying to hold off as long as possible, because I really think this is allergy related, but I'm beginning to have doubts. I just want him to be better....ya know? Will you all keep us in your prayers so that we make the best decision for his care?

I'll update later with the results of our appointment.

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I stand corrected. Praise God Baby K does NOT have another ear infection. So that means one of two things...1)The 20 day antibiotic did the trick, or 2)The chiropractor is working!!!!!!!!! We left with NOOOOOOO antibiotics and clear instructions to continue breathing treatments every 4 hours for the cough. As I type this, my son is sleeping away on the sofa. (Which is also where you will find me as soon as I hit "post.")

Whatever the latest culprit is I am told is viral. Probably from his previous daycare. Long story short, Baby K was suppose to start a new daycare today. We were not happy at all with our last provider. Anything that could go wrong, did. I had my last straw with them last Thursday when I picked him up (we had already submitted our notice at this point), and I saw on his daily sheet that he had refused bottles all day long. He ate for the first time at 3pm that day. Correct me if I'm over-reacting, but I was furious! I could not believe they didn't call me. He ate nada, zip, nothing for 8 whole hours. Yes, that pretty much did it for me. He did not go back. He was to start the new daycare next Monday, but I called the new provider and begged to let him start today. And then, he didn't even get to.

Anywho, just wanted to update and give God praise that my little man's ears are still clear. Now, just hoping this virus has began to run it's course and will be moving on soon.

Happy First Father's Day Love!

I am growing really fast Daddy,
And I am watching all you do.
Because when I grow up to become a man,
I hope to be like you.

I love it when you play with me,
Even when you give me baths;
You make those crazy noises that
Always seem to make me laugh.

I can't believe you will soon
Show me how to fly a kite,
And I just can hardly wait until
You will teach me to ride a bike.

Then one day soon, Daddy,
You'll teach me how to hunt;
You'll show me how to scout for deer
And how to hold my gun.

Don't be sad because I'm growing up,
I'm becoming just like you.
And I'm so excited over
The fun things you and I will do

This is your keepsake to remember
Once I'm big and tall
That it really wasn't that long ago
I use to be this small.

Private Blogging

I am making preparations to make this blog private. If you are following along, whether you are a regular commenter or lurker, please leave a comment with your email address so I can provide you access. Or, feel free to drop me an email. It's ironic to say (with my posting on the world wide web) that this is necessary to protect my family, but given the recent revelations of people snagging photos without permission, I feel this is an important step to protect my son's identity.

I really don't want to lose any of my readers, because you have all become such good friends to me :) So I am sending this open invitation now to anyone who wants access.

And, Thanks Jill for the html code that prevents people from copying your pics! That was so helpful! If you want details, Jill or I can share the code with you.

So this is goodbye...

Dear Friend,

You and I have grown so close over the last 4 months of my life. When I think back on all the times I needed comforting, you were there for me. When I couldn't be quiet during church, you were there. Through my MANY, MANY ear infections, I knew I could always count on you... Dangling from my bib, I always could find you within my grasp.



If I was missing my Mommy and Daddy while I was at daycare, you reminded me they would be back soon. I chose to play with you rather than take naps like my classmates. My teachers always brought you back to me when I dropped you. Yes, you and I have become the best of friends.




But today Mommy is taking you away from me. She keeps saying I am now 4 months old, and that you could really affect my teeth (whatever that is), or [gasp] that it could be you causing my ear infections. I know better--you would never hurt me. I overheard Mommy say that I only get you back if I begin to suck on my thumb, because "Mommy can't take my thumb away." Until then, our lives shall take different paths, but I will be missing you tremendously, my friend. It makes me sad just to think about it.



Sincerely,
Baby K

Baby K...

Meet our son. He is feeling so much better.

After the Allergist....

I am relieved to say we have a game plan. The allergist believes this very well is an allergy issue. We went ahead and tested Baby K for milk and egg allergies and he tested negative. [Imagine me doing my happy dance....] Nutramigen is not necessary. Yippee!!!!! We can slowly begin switching him back to Gentlease. Dr. S also said to hold off on tubes for now. So, we will be finishing up our antibiotic, continueing with the chiropractic adjustments, and hopefully [fingers crossed] this will work. Dr. S feels as if we are on the downhill side of things. She did suggest doing Nasalcrom 1 squirt in each side of nose 2 times a day. Dr. S says this is as safe as water--no steroids or anything. K and I are almost convinced of pulling Baby K out of daycare. My mom is begging me to quit work and watch him, and I think we may eventually give in. If it will keep him healthier, it's definitely worth it. We need a little more time to think this through though.

Never-the-less, thank you all for you advice. I'm not totally anti-tubes. I think if someone can tell me that it would really cut back on the ear infections, it may be worth it. But, let me remind you the ENT says he will continue to be sick as long as he's in daycare with tubes.

I'm pro-whatever makes my baby feel better. I don't want to keep pumping him full of antibiotics.

When it rains, it pours....my car over-heated today in the drive-thru line. My dad suspects it's the thermostat which is relatively cheap to fix. All in all, it's still been a good day :)

Checking in...

Yes, we are still sick. Or shall I say, Baby K is still sick. He has now officially been sick half of his existance on earth. It's really sad.

To catch you all up to date, 05/18/09 he was diagnosed with his third double ear infection in less than 5 weeks. This ear infection was treated with two rounds of rocephin antibiotic shots. Last Monday, on 05/25/09 we were told his ears were clear.

He also had 2 chiropractic adjustments last week as a preventitive. On Friday, 05/29/09 I had to take him back to the Dr. because he has ANOTHER ear infection, except this time he also has a sinus infection. We've been prescribed a 20 day antibiotic (this makes our 5th) and he also is having to have breathing treatments when he takes his coughing attacks (which I failed to mention, he has had this cough since 04/08/09, the first ear infection and the dr. continued to think it was viral).

Now that he's had about 6 breathing treatments, the cough is almost completely gone. To say I am frustrated is an understatment. We had an appointment with an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist today who said "Tubes, tubes, tubes..." before even looking in Baby K's ears. The dr. also switch his formula last week to Nutramigen...whew!!! That hurt. It costs about $25 for 12.6 oz can which barely lasts 2 days...

The ENT told me today that the chiro is a complete waste of money. I am willing to give it more time before I schedule the surgery, because he (the ENT) also said that as long as Baby K was in daycare he would continue to stay sick even with tubes because "he is just one of those babies who stay sick all the time." Also, my gut feeling is that Baby K is allergic to something. K had tubes as a baby which did not work because he had such bad allergies.

So, I am completely confused. I have no idea what to do. I have an appt tomorrow with an allergy doctor (our 5th doctor, probably 5th different diagnosis). I'm thinking after all is said and done, we'll just draw straws as to who is right...

Advice? Anyone?

Kris Allen

Isn't it great to have a Christian American idol? Check out this clip I saw on Kelly's blog. I wanted to share it with all of you:

Ear infection from H, E, double L

Yes, folks. You read correctly. We have our third double ear infection in 6 weeks. My poor baby. I had to take Baby K back to the doctor yesterday for the same symptoms. Vomiting, not eating, coughing, fever, fussiness...all our tell-all syptoms of a classic Baby K ear infection. My intuition was correct. Both ears are still infected. No more oral meds. We brought out the big guns. Baby K got 2 shots of antibiotics in his legs yesterday. K stayed home with him today and took him to his 24 hr. re-check. Baby K got 2 more shots today. My poor baby boy. He's a human pin cushion. Hopefully, these shots (which I will add were traumatic for K to watch) will kick this Ear infection in the bum and it'll march itself on to new living quarters. It's taken up residency way too long in my little man's ears, and overstayed it's welcome! And, Baby K's cough has been so severe that he has lyrangitis. Have you ever heard a baby cry with Lyrangitis. It's so pitiful....

Feel better soon, little man!

Last year on mothers day, I wrote this post. At this time in my life, I really felt that I would never celebrate Mother's Day.

This year, I am a Mom. But, I'll be honest, I felt Mother's Day was bittersweet. The sweet part is that I got to hold my precious son, a child I never anticipated I would hold just 12 months ago. In fact, this year I won the mother with the youngest baby award at our church. My church is rather large, so this came as a huge surprise to me. If someone would have told me last May this would happen this year, I would have told them they were crazy....

The bitter part was that my heart was still so heavy for the women who are still waiting on their miracles. This pain is still fresh for me, and it probably has scarred my heart forever. Ladies, I'm still praying for you. I'm praying for God to give you your miracles, and for Him to give you patience in the time between. I pray this day wasn't hard for you, and if it was, I pray that God gave you the comfort you needed.

I hope you all are having a wonderful week so far!

Weekly ramblings...

It's Friday night at 9:45, and what's that sound? Could this be silence? Could my precious baby boy be finally sleeping? Oh my--I do believe it is. Whew!

I don't mean to sound as if I am complaining, because I do realize how blessed I am to have a baby that I can just put down to bed, and he will soothe himself to sleep. We, well...K, put Baby K on a schedule a few weeks ago. He gets a bath at 8:30, bottle at 8:45, and he is in bed at 9:00. This schedule has worked great for him since he began daycare a few weeks ago.

Speaking of daycare, my sweet Baby K refuses to nap during the day. I mean, "yay for me..." cause that means he sleeps at night (and if you read my prior post, then you know how important sleep is for me). But I worry that he may be extrememly fussy during the day. Just one day this week, his daily sheet stated that he napped from 8:30-8:35; 9:30-9:35; 12:00-12:30. [I have no clue why they even listed the first two. I don't really consider 5 minutes a nap.]

On another note, I stayed out of work Thurs and today because we have our 2nd double ear infection. [That makes 2 in 3 weeks.] Baby K has been so fussy the past 48hrs. [Now, you know why I am enjoying the moment of temporary silence that I am currently experiencing.] This infection began much like the last one. He began to be fussy when we would lay him down, but he was his usual happy self if he was sitting upright. Then, the vomiting began, followed by his refusal to eat...So today, "Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to the dr. we go." A doctor bill and antibiotic later, my suspicions were confirmed.

Yesterday, I also found out that someone I went to high school with lost her battle with Cancer. She was 28 years old, and is leaving behind a husband, a five year old son, and two year old daughter. I am completely heartbroken for this family. But, what an amazing testimony she is leaving behind. Never once did her love for the Lord waiver during her battle. And she fought up until the last breath. That makes my heart smile, because I know that Satan really gave a full effort to take her away from God. So take that Mr. Satan! You never got her, and now she is singing praises with the Lord! [Tomorrow is the receiving services and Sunday the burial for this extraordinary woman. If you think of it, please pray for them.]

So, in a nut shell, that has been my week. How has your week been?

New Revelations....

During the past 10 weeks of motherhood, I have learned many important life lessons.

--I never knew I could function on such few hours of sleep. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love, love, love to sleep. In fact, it's my favorite hobby. I was always in the bed early at night, and could sleep until noon if allowed. Now, I am lucky to get in 5 good hours of sleep per night with Baby K still waking up 2 times per night.

--The maker of caffeine pills is brilliant for those of us who really don't like coffee. I confess. I am a caffeine junkie. I love anything manufactured to give you energy. Re.d Bu.ll, caffeine pills, etc. Give me more!!!! (Giving this stuff up was the most difficult part of my pregnancy.) Why do I need energy, you ask? See above. You get the same "pick me up" without the after-taste.

--I probably wouldn't need all of the energy items if I would exercise. That's suppose to make you feel better.

--I hate exercising!

--I use to hate when I was little and my mom would lick her finger to wipe a little smudge off of my face. Well, I have became my mother. I find myself licking my finger to wipe off Baby K's milk mustashe. This really is a nasty habit, but it serves it's purpose.

--Daycare has really put a great, big, HUGE dent in our wallets. I really have to control my need to splurge when I am out shopping.

--Baby K is growing up WAYYYYYYYY too fast. Over the past week, I have had to pack away all of his newborn and 0-3 months clothes. He's already 10 weeks old! That just seems crazy to me.

--I miss being pregnant. Even when I was so sick with morning sickness, I really enjoyed being pregnant. I miss it. K and I couldn't even consider trying for #2 at this point in our lives. But, it makes me look forward to the day that we are expecting another little one.

--I hope trying for #2 comes a little easier. If it takes 5 years, Baby K would be beginning kindergarten!!!! (And that's if we started trying today!)


So far, those are the important life lessons I can think of. I'm sure that this list will continue to grow in the days ahead.

Hope you all are having a wonderful Wednesday!

website for "Mommy's Answered Prayers" onesie...

This onesie was ordered from this website. Check it out. They have Christian clothing for babies and toddlers.

Look who's 9 weeks old.....

My dear friend, Deidre, bought Baby K this onesie...isn't it perfect? Thanks so much Deidre!!!! We love it!

Week of firsts....

This has been my first week back at work. It has been really difficult getting back into the swing of things. My co-workers have been really supportive of me. I am happy to say that I can now see the top of my desk. I didn't realize how much paperwork one could accumulate in 8 weeks.

My return to work also means that this was Baby K's first week of daycare. On Monday morning K and I took Baby K to drop him off. His teacher had made a sign to hang on his classroom door which read, "Welcome K." My eyes teared up when I kissed him bye, but I fought back the tears. Monday was a very hard day for me. Leaving my poor, innocent child with people I barely knew. What if he needed me? Would they take as good care of him as I do? It was a day full of questions. I called around lunch to check on him, and I was told he was doing wonderful. He had slept most of the day. K picked him up on Monday, because I have school. So, I didn't get to lay my eyes on my child until 9pm that night! It was a terribly long day, but I survived.

When I got home from class on Monday, all I wanted to do was love on Baby K. As soon as I picked him up, he started crying. K told me that he had been so fussy all evening. He had a cough that was just starting and his nose was yucky. So, this was also Baby K's first cold. Baby K spent his first night sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's room sitting up in his bouncy seat.

On Tuesday, Baby K went to daycare, but I called to see how he was since he was so fussy the night before. His cough had gotten so much worse and he was now running a low-grade fever. [Impecable timing!] On Wednesday, I missed my first day of work, since returning from Maternity leave (yes, that's a whole two days later) to take my sick little boy to the doctor. He has his first ear infection(s). Thank heavens the doctor gave him an antiobiotic.

Yesterday my mom kept him for me so I could work. Today, our daycare is closed in observance of the Easter holiday, so K's sister is keeping him. So--we have paid $170 for 2 days of daycare this week... Good times....

And lest I forget, this will be Baby K's first Easter. I can't wait to take him to church Sunday in his new Easter outfit, but more importantly, I can't wait until he's old enough to understand the true meaning of Easter.

Ask Anything response (part 2)

Charne asked, "share with us how you managed to keep the faith while trying to concieve, and on those rough days what did u do to make it easier? how did infertility affect your hubbys faith?"

Charne, I wish I could say that it was easy for me to keep the faith while trying to conceive. The low-down-dirty-truth is that it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. There were many days that I didn't have faith at all. I spent many hours questioning God or worse, directing my anger toward Him. Somehow, someway I just slowly let all of those emotions go. Getting pregnant was still just as important to me, but it didn't hurt quite as much. I learned to keep my faith by surrounding myself with supportive people. I asked so many people to pray for me during this time in my life. I believe their prayers carried me through this valley.

On those rough days, I would toss myself a pity-party. I would have a good cry (cause its my party, and I could cry if I want to :) and I would reach out in the blogging world for a shoulder to cry on. In my real life, there was only two people who I truly believed understood what I was going through--my husband and a friend from church who had too walked in my shoes. But, eventually, I would just get over-it and the next day (or day after that) would be better.

Infertility wasn't as big of a giant for my husband. He wasn't the problem in our inability to conceive, so I don't feel as if it took a toll emotionally on him as it did on me. However, with that said, he was so supportive of me during this time that I don't think I really gave him the opportunity to let it affect him. (As I was laid open on the operating table awaiting the birth of our son, I thanked him for being the wonderful man/husband that he is. He could have left me...but he stayed, even when we were told that biological children were not in our future. I know if our roles were reversed that I would have been as supportive of him. I love him just as much.)

K and I did deal with infertility differently. I was more "outward" while he never showed his emotion. I know it affected him, but he never let me see it because I felt so "fragile."

Eventually, I....

Will finish the post next time...

Ask Anything response (part 1)

Joy asked: What was your first job?! Did you go to college and if so, where? What was your degree in?

Joy, my first job was at a supermarket as a cashier. I started working a week before my 15th birthday and have been working ever since! I wouldn't technically consider that a "real" job since I was only part time. My first what I consider "real" job was an office assistant for the company I currently work for. I have been employed here for almost 11 years. Now, I am a retail accountant and I handle the books and financial statements for 6 customers.

My current bachelor's degree is in Accounting. I went to school here. But, I am really in need of a career change, so I decided last fall to go back to school to become a Middle Grades teacher. I am currently working on my second bachelor's degree from here.

Charne, I got your question also, and I am working on the post. I hope to have it up in a few days.

If anyone else can think of anything you want to know, just ask. Right now, I am confused on the direction this blog needs to take. It began as an infertility blog. At some point, when I begin trying for baby #2, it probably will resume being an infertility blog. However, right now, it just doesn't seem appropriate for where I am in my life.

Ask anything...

Lately, I have really struggled with topics to write about. My blog has really been pushed to the back burner with caring for Baby K. Many of you have kiddo's of your very own, or are very close, so you don't mind reading about my experiences as a new parent. Many of you are still waiting, and the last thing you want to read is the topics I have been blogging on. If you are still waiting, please know I am still praying!

Anyway, so I am coming to you for help. Ask me anything? Is there something you want to know about me? It can be about infertility, my marriage, my faith, or anything in between. So, ask me anything...

Latest Newsflash...

Hold on to the edge of your seats friends! I have earth shattering news to share! Well, maybe not earth shattering, but it's pretty darn good news I think. This weekend I began packing away all those maternity clothes that had taken up residency in my closet the past 10 months. I thought just for kicks I would try to squeeze into a pair of my old jeans...just to see how much work I still have left to do. And believe it or not, I was able to get my jeans on. Be it as it may, I had to lay down on my bed and suck in for dear life, but I was able to get them buttoned. This made my day!! It will still be awhile before I can wear any of them comfortably, or else I would probably turn blue from lack of oxygen, but I am certainly making progress! I am most definitely looking forward to my wardrobe expanding instead of my waistline.

On other news, I visited the daycare that Baby K will be starting 2 weeks from today [gasp!]. I can't believe that he will be 6 weeks old tomorrow. This was my first visit. I hadn't really felt the need to visit since one of my MIL's friends works in the nursery. Let's just say, Baby K is no longer going to be enrolling in this daycare. I was so disappointed. First, my MIL's friend wasn't even there, so maybe that's why I left feeling uneasy about placing him in their care. However, I felt like I had just walked into an orphanage. The room was so tiny and cluttered. I had expected something totally different. So, I left and called K and explained my insecurities. I later stopped by a daycare closer to my home and I accepted their last vacant spot in the infant room. It was a top of the line facility...it cost a little more money each week and the registration fee--which has to be paid yearly--is more than expected, but I can justify the extra expense just to feel comfortable where Baby K is cared for. [Let me just say, I think a registration fee is a ripoff!]

So, that's the latest. I hope you all are having a wonderful week. The sun is shining here in NC and I admit to having a bit of summer fever! I am so bummed by cold weather and I can't wait until the flowers begin to bloom and I can spend my days outside with my Little Man...

Oh...go give Mandy some love. She's less than 3 weeks away from delivery! And I've never been happier for my dear friend Jill. Go give her some love too!

He's one month old....

I can't believe that Baby K is already one month old! He had his 4 week check up yesterday, and he's already up to 9 lbs 3 oz. That makes him in the 35%. That's quite an acomplishment for a little guy who was suppose to be so small.

He also had to get a shot. The nurse told me, "Now mom, his face is going to get really red and he's probably going to cry, but this is necessary to keep him healthy." She was right. He did cry...and I felt my eyes fill up with tears trying to comfort him. It was horrible--not for him. He only cried for a minute. For ME!!! Okay, so I only cried for a minute too, but it broke my heart to see him in pain even if it was only for a nano-second.

Last night wasn't so good. Baby K wouldn't eat much yesterday, and he didn't sleep well either. I feel like a zombie today! I was up and down most of the night with him. He hasn't napped well today either. I hope it's not like this everytime he gets shots.

He is starting to get his own little personality. I'll insert here that he gets his lack of patience from his father. Actually, he gets all bad qualities from his dad, right? In the last few days I have noticed that he tries to smile now. I've even heard what I thought may be a little laugh from him.

I love Kenny Chesney's song, "Don't Blink." It's so true. I feel as if I blinked and a month is gone! I just can't believe he's already a month old!

Parenting after Infertility....

I have had this blog swimming around in my head for the past 3 weeks. I couldn't seem to find the time to get it down to share with caring for a newborn. It's hard to believe that my son will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. Where has the time gone?

If I had it to do over again, I would still opt for a c-section. I checked into the hospital on 02/10/09 around 5:30 a.m. I had to give my medical history and get the IV started, but at a little after 7 a.m. I was taken into the operating room for my epidural. Baby K entered the world at 7:53 a.m., and it was all over with. I was a mommy.

My first week at home was rough. I don't mean this in a way that sounds ungrateful, but I was completely overwhelmed. Call it postpartum, call it anxiety, but I believe that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I couldn't eat. I was so emotionally distraught that I was vomiting and had major stomach issues. As I would get up to feed Baby K, all I could think was, "I don't know if I can do this..." I believe I was having a hard time bonding with Baby K. It's almost as if I didn't know how to find closure for the chapter in my life titled "infertility."

The second week was much better. Perhaps I was getting use to the sleep deprivation. Baby K wakes every 2 hours to nurse, so I decided to supplement him with some formula also. This relieved some of the stress from breast feeding off of me. Now, I nurse during the day and he takes bottles at night. Even though he still wakes every 2-2.5 hours, I easily get out of bed and greet him with open arms. I love to watch his facial expressions while he is sleeping. He smiles, and it melts my heart.

Infertility robbed me from so many good moments in our lives over the last five years. I don't know how I did it, but I finally kissed goodbye to that evil curse. I will say that parenting is much harder than I expected it to be. Most days I feel as if I am a zombie. But infertility gave me something very special that I had failed to recognize: I have so much love, appreciation, and thanksgiving for this little life. I don't know that if I had gotten pregnant easily that I would feel so blessed by his presence in my life. I have never loved anyone in the way that I love my son. The bond that I now share with him is incomparable to any other bond I've ever felt before.

Yesterday at church, my associate pastor sang a song that says, "Somebody's praying, I can feel it. Somebody's praying for me." I can't express my gratitude to the people who prayed for me during this time in my life. I am still praying for those of you waiting on your answered prayers faithfully. I pray for God to give you peace admist your waiting.

I'll leave you with these:

Introducing....

Hello Ladies! Please meet our son:

Baby K
Born @ 7:53 a.m. 02/10/09
7lbs 6 oz.
21" long

The doctors were so wrong. He wasn't little at all. He's absolutely perfect. More to come later!

It's official....

After Tuesday's follow up ultrasound to measure growth and my regular doc appt yesterday, it appears that Baby K will grace us with his beautiful presence Tues, Feb 10, around 9 a.m. via c-section. He will be delivered by our amazing doctor, Dr. R, who I completely trust with both of our health.

Tuesday's ultrasound was precautionary. It definitely seems that Baby K will be on the smaller side. His head is measuring in the 19th percentile, his legs are measuring in the 22nd percentile, and his abdomen is measuring in at 26th percentile. Dr. R says that although he will be "small" he will appear to be a little chunky :) This makes mom and dad really happy.... I was so worried he was going to be "preemie" small. We found out that he is estimated to weigh right at 6lbs right now. Dr. R said he could realistically make me wait another week since I am due Feb 17. However, for nutritional reasons it is best he come early.

Thank you all for your comments on our photo's. I was somewhat hesitant to post them. I want to be sensitive to all of your feelings. I know so many of you are still waiting on your miracles, and I hope you know that I pray every day that your time is drawing near.

The Last Days....

These are just a few sneak peaks of the pregnancy portraits we had made. Enjoy!

Sorry for the delay...

I am a week over-due writing the update on the level 2 ultrasound. Things are crazy busy right now. I am back in school Monday and Wednesday nights, and I am trying to get ready to welcome Baby K into the world in 3 weeks. (EEEEKKKK!!!! THREE weeks people!)

Long story short, Baby K seems to be well. The ultrasound did show that he has what's called a hydrocele in his private area. But from what I've heard/read, this isn't too uncommon for little boys. It should either a)correct itself on its own, or b)it can be surgically corrected in the future. The main cause for concern is that his head is still measuring behind his body. Not too far behind, but small. Dr. R made me laugh to ease my concern. He said that usually when he looks at patients he thinks, "Dang, you've got a big head." So his theory is that Baby K comes from a small headed family. He feels this is all "precautionary" because I am still--even at 37 weeks--considered high risk.

However, with that said, I have another follow up ultrasound on FEB 3 at the same hospital. I am stoked that we get to take another peak at him (especially since the little booger keeps his hands in front of his face ALL THE TIME.)

As it stands right now, Baby K will be here on Feb 10 by c-section. (For those who are new to my blog, I can't have a natural birth because I severly fractured my pelvis when I was in high school. If I were to have a natural birth, I risk re-fracturing it during labor.) When we go back on Feb 3 for our final ultrasound, if he still hasn't grown, then he will be taken before Feb 10. Dr. R explained that if he wasn't growing well in-utero then our next best option was to get him out so he can be taken care of. As of last Monday, he only weighs 4lbs 14 oz...

So, even though it would be nice to have Baby K grace us with his presence early, the best thing is for him to bake just a bit longer.

Thank you all for your prayers and support over the past week and I covent your continued prayers for Baby K to grow!!!!!!!

A Miracle of Miracles....

I get an inspirational email every day and I wanted to share this with all of you. I couldn't help but plug in words here and there to describe Infertility. Try it. I hope this encourages all of you still waiting for your miracles....


A Miracle Of Miracles: Realizing An Impossible Dream
By: Saralee Perel
"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem
improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become
inevitable." Christopher Reeve

Recently, for the first time in 5 years I simply went out back, put my
cane down, and started walking. I made it 42 yards.

Today I walked 5 miles.

My medical team had said this would be impossible. My brain could no
longer send the signals for walking because those nerves in my spinal
cord had been destroyed. Though certainly unintentional, my doctors
did take something very important away from me: hope.

A while back, a psychologist pal of mine urged me to try to help
myself. I was angry. I said, "They're four of Boston's leading
neurologists. They all said I'd never get any better."

"They could have all been wrong."

"They said there's nothing I can do! No rehabilitation. No physical
therapy. I'm not putting any effort into trying to walk and then be
miserable when I fail."

"Trying is never failure."

I'd get steaming mad at people like her. What did they know? They came
out in droves. I heard various things I should try: a soy-based diet,
massage, Yoga, acupuncture, positive thinking. All of these
well-meaning non-experts believed that traditional medical doctors do
not know everything about human potential.

However, there was a common denominator in my friends' advice. And
that was the word, "Try."

What made me finally try? The answer is simpler than I'd have ever
imagined. That day I tried walking on my own, I had simply said to
myself, "Why not?"

When I walk I have a Frankenstein-style gait. I get embarrassed so I
explain. I met a gal who said, "Stop excusing yourself. Walk proud!"
She's just one of the many who've taught me that if I open my heart to
acceptance, the world is filled with support teams.

I've also resolved to open my obstinate mind and really listen to
others, experts or not. This not only fosters my own sometimes-frail
belief in my abilities; it fosters faith in miracles.

One morning my husband, Bob, said there was a huge present for me in
our driveway. He had researched "bicycles for disabled people." It was
a 300 pound cycle for two. The seats were side by side. He could pedal
while I sat by him and enjoyed the outdoors again.

Um . . . did I mention it came assembled with a set of pedals for me too?

Now, hundreds of miles later, after exhaustive hours of pedaling along
beautiful bike trails, I only wish that we owned stock in Ben-Gay.

Bob needs a tube a day to keep up with me.

Last week he repeated, "There's a huge present in our driveway." He
led me outside. "Voila!" he said. "Oh no," I moaned. Bob dubbed it
"The One-Woman Dynamo Power Bike."

"Sweetheart? You know I can't bike on my own."

He laughed sweetly. "I know. And you can't walk either. Then why does
the pedometer I bought you have 74 miles on it?"

And so, I made a now often repeated declaration that I am praying
others will say to themselves as well. "Yes. I can."

Think I love my bike? You bet. Think I love Bob? Of course. Think I
love life again after cloistering myself in a self imposed no-can-do
closet? Goodness! You have to ask?

How do we find hope when hope seems impossible? Do we simply believe
in our hearts, our minds and our very souls that we can beat the odds?

Yes.

Christopher Reeve said, "When we have hope, we discover powers within
ourselves we may have never known. Once we choose hope, everything is
possible."

His immutable words still ring in my heart and I so hope they will in
everyone else's: "And you don't have to be a 'Superman' to do it."

Saralee Perel is an award-winning columnist, novelest, and retired
psychotherapist. Also, she is a contributor to Chicken Soup for the
Soul, Family Circle Magazine, the Dallas News and many other
publications. Her novel, "Raw Nerves" - A Cape Cod Comedic Thriller,
enjoys very favorable reviews, and can be purchased at Amazon.com (use
link above)
Saralee Perel, can be reached at sperel@saraleeperel.com.
Her web site: www.saraleeperel.com/

Copyright © 2008

Dr. Appt update...

Hello All!

I had my doctor's appt on Monday which entailed (what I thought would be) my last ultrasound. Baby K weighs in at approximately 5lbs. His heart rate is good and he is measuring right on target. However, his head is measuring around a week behind his body. Ideally if I were having a natural birth, this would = less pain. However, my c-section is scheduled for Feb 10, so I would prefer his entire body be measuring on the same week. Also, it appears that there is some fluid around my little boy's private area which has caused some swelling. Dr. R almost laughed when he told me there would be no denying that he's a boy. (It's okay to laugh. I did. Not really something a mother wants to hear about her baby boy.) I was a little caught off guard, but overall okay....UNTIL....

I was told I needed to have another ultrasound at a Fetal Care Center just to be certain that my doctor hasn't missed anything. No big deal. I was also encouraged to have an amniocenteses--which totally freaked me out. I will not consent to that at this point in my pregnancy. I know it's a risky procedure, and to me and K, it doesn't matter if something is chromosomally wrong with Baby K. It never would have mattered. We love him.

I also seem to be losing weight. I actually haven't gained any weight in the past 8 weeks. From my appointment 2 weeks ago until Monday, I somehow managed to lose 4 lbs. This makes my overall weight gain 23 lbs.

So, my next regular appointment is Monday at 9 am. Then I am off to the Fetal Care Center 2 hrs away from my home at 1 pm to take one last look at Baby K before he makes his grand entrance. I can't believe he'll be here in 5 weeks!!!!!!

We are praying that all of this means nothing and that Baby K is as healthy as can be. I'll keep you all updated as soon as I know more. In the mean time, my first of 3 baby showers is at work this Friday. I am so excited!!!! It's going to be a busy month for us!

2008 Reflections....

One year ago, I was here. I can't believe that 365 days later, I am now on the down-hill spiral to finally welcoming my son home. A son I was told that would never be. A son I was told to give up on. A son I prayed for in excess of five years. I am so humbled that God takes over control where science says it is impossible. I've always believed with God all things are possible, but now my circumstances are reassurance to anyone who doubts. I hope this somehow gives all of you who are still waiting on your prayers to be answered hope. Keep praying--even when you feel all prayed out.

My latest dr. appt went well. I was told that my son's heartrate sounded good. I asked Dr. R for one last ultrasound since we hadn't had one since finding out the sex at 17 weeks. We are having our final ultrasound next Monday. Dr. R did tell me that my son is measuring "small." These words terrified me at first. Dr. R told me the only reason he was telling me this is because the ultrasound tech would probably mention to me that he is a small baby. So, how small is "small?" Dr. R estimates that my baby isn't quite 4 lbs yet. Overall, I expect to have a little baby. Both K and I were under 7lbs and I am relatively little compared to many expectant mothers. I feel a little better about Baby K being little now than I did a week ago. I know I still have 6 weeks to go, so I hope he picks up some lbs in my final days. (And FYI for any of you still interested in our nursery. I am patiently waiting on K to STILL put up our baby border so I can post pictures.)

Christmas was very busy. My dad's side of the family gathered for Christmas this year, first time in years. We all really miss my Aunt Cathy, and even though the mood was kind of somber, we enjoyed spending time together. We also celebrated with K's immediate family, K's extended family, my grandparents, my immediate family...It was as if I blinked my eyes and it was over. Busy, busy...

I can't believe 2009 is only 2 days away. I pray that the upcoming New Year brings us all good health, happiness, and hope.

Passing On...

On behalf of my entire family, thank you all for your prayers for my aunt's recovery. I am deeply saddened to write that as of yesterday, my aunt passed away. If you could please continue to pray for my family--especially her son, Jason--we would all be so appreciative...

Prayer Request...

I am in need of a special prayer request from you guys. My dad's sister, Cathy, had a heart attack on Monday and is in ICU. Long story short, Cathy has asthma. She had been having trouble with asthma attacks recently and had been seen by a doctor on Sunday and Monday of this week. Her doctors gave her some shots to help open up her lungs. However, after leaving the doctor's office on Monday she had a really bad attack. She couldn't breath at all by the time she called 911. The asthma attack was so bad it sent her into cardic arrest. EMT's responded to the call and found her unconscience and unresponsive upon arrival. It is estimated that she went without oxygen for around 5 minutes.

Due to her lack of oxygen, she now how swelling in the brain. Yesterday, the family was called in because she needed to have a CT scan. Doctor's were unsure that she was stable enough to move, so they wanted our family there incase something went wrong. Thankfully, she did survive the CT scan, but now has developed MRSA.

Our family has been told that her prognosis is very poor. She has lost some brain activity, we don't know how severe that will be. Her chest x-ray looks good and it appears that she has had minimal effects on her heart. However, the swelling of her brain is not decreasing--it's not increasing either, thank goodness, but we are all praying for it to decrease.

She has a son who is devestated right now. My heart aches for him so badly. And lastly, she is only 42 yr. old. Please pray for my family and for God to provide another medical miracle! I know that miracles happen every day!

Update...

Things are moving right along for us. I had my GDD test last week, which thankfully I passed. Things seem to be going great for my son. His heart rate is good and he kicks up a storm. His mommy--not so great.

First I am exhausted. I actually went to the doc today because I felt as though I may be on the verge of dehydration. I was slightly dehydrated, but Dr. R felt more so that my exhaustion was 1)welcoming me to the 3rd/final trimester, 2)sleep depreviation, 3)the ugly UTI that I have, and 4)low iron. My son also loves to snuggle up beside of my rib cages, so it makes breathing a little more difficult. So, I skipped school tonight and spent the evening catching up on all your blogs.

I am also a little on the "hormonal" side. And I swear, if K says that one more time to me, I may literally knock his teeth out. (Nah, but it really is getting on my nerves.) I cry at almost everything these days. The good, the bad, the really doesn't matter---all bring out the water works. So what if I'm hormonal...I know this.

Eleven weeks to go! When did this happen? (It's acually 10 weeks since I will be having a c-section around Feb 10). I am almost in the single digits--and may I say that I am counting down the days!

Thanksgiving was awesome. My mom and mother-in-law are the best cooks ever. I certainly ate my share--and everyone else's too. I'm stressed out about Christmas shopping. I have yet to buy my first gift! Shhh! Don't tell anyone. This is so UNLIKE me!!!!

I'm glad all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Thanks to those of you who checked in on me. I'm sorry for the delay.

Decisions made...

I have finally decided to breastfeed. And since I bought one of these, there really is no going back now. My cousin's wife had one to sell, so I snatched it up at a rather great deal. I'm a bit nervous, since I don't know the first thing about breast feeding, but I am going to give it a shot. And if I don't like it, I'm going to try to stick with it anyway to save $. Now, if it become too stressful, of course we move on to formula. However, I have thought about it in great detail over the past few months, and right now, I'm in.

We have a daycare provider lined up. Let me insert rant here ---> Although I am completely grateful to be having this child, I am a bit stressed out about how on earth we are going to be able to afford daycare costs in addition to all those other baby expenses. A third of my income will now go to pay childcare expenses alone. That is really going to put a dent in our money. My mom keeps telling me that once our son arrives that I am not going to want to leave him. I know she's right, but like the majority of other two income families, I don't really get that choice. My income is necessary to supplement K's or else we will lose our house. (Don't see the govt bailing us out?!?!)

We have also picked our son's name. We will name him Kade Mason K... However, to protect our privacy, from this point forward you will only see me refer to him as Baby K.

Lastly, we have began to construct his nursery. We are using Rainbow fish as our theme and it is quite cute, if I must say so myself. I can't wait to put the final touches in so I can post pics for you all...

CHANGE is coming....

The election is over. I am a bit relieved and disheartened. I saw this on a church billboard and wanted to pass it on:

The CHANGE America needs is found in the BIBLE.

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

"My people" entails ALL people--Republicans and Democrats, All ethnic groups,ALL genders, ALL religions.

Will you join me in praying for our country?

Dear Mr. Obama....

Fireproof

You guys, I saw one of the best movies EVER this weekend. Here is the trailer for the movie. I hope you check it out!

Randomness....

I don't have anything profound to say. Just wanted to share some random thoughts.

-I am tired of hearing about the election. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss regular TV commercials. I know this is an important election year, and I have every intention of voting. In fact, K and I have already requested absentee ballots so we don't have to stand in line. However, I'll be completely relieved when the election itself is over.

-It's only 42 days until Thanksgiving (70 days until Christmas). Does anyone else feel as if the holidays snuck up on them this year? I love both holidays, but I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I have so much to be thankful for.

-My to-do list is getting longer and longer. I have so much to do before baby K arrives. Unfortunately, every day when I get home all I want to do is lay down. We have to put up the border for his room, clean out the closet, register...will I get all of this done before his arrival--especially with the holiday's approaching?

-I had a doctor's appt on Tues. Everything is good. I'm still not drinking enough water. What's new? If you're not a water drinker (like me) how do you manage to get enough liquids to stay well hydrated? I've been having some light-headedness and tunnel vision which Dr. R says is related to my hydration. So as I type, I'm trying to manage to chug my water bottle. Yuck!

-I read this in my devotional this morning and I thought I would share it. It is from Breaking Free by Beth Moore:

"God is not a man who lies, or the son of man who changes His mind. Does He speak and not act, or promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19

"Can you think of a time when God proved unworthy of your confidence? If we think we've discovered unfaithfulness in God, I believe one of three things has happened: 1) we misinterpreted the promise, 2)we missed the answer, or 3) we gave up before God timed His response.

We must simply keep believeing Him, because unbelief is crippling, casting huge obstacles in the way of a victorious life. The steps we take forward with God, we take through faith. This doesn't mean He asks us to believe in our ability to exercise unwavering faith. He merely asks us to believe that He is able."

-Hope you each have a wonderful Thursday if you made it to the end of my randomness.

God's Value of Money

I received this as an email. I wanted to share it because it has a very powerful message that we all should remember during the financial crisis that exists today.

God's Value of Money
By: Vonette Bright
"...Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's
life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
Luke 12:15

In these days of economic slowdowns and job layoffs, it's good to
remember the value God places on "money."

The poorest person in the world isn't the one who's gone bankrupt.
They're the one who is without God, and consequently without hope in
the world.

Some years ago, the editors of "The Wall Street Journal," made a
powerful statement. They pointed out:
"Money is the article which may be used as a universal passport to
everywhere, except heaven, and the universal provider of everything
except... happiness."

And, they're right!

You see, as Christians our happiness is centered on our personal
relationship with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Jesus said it best...
"A person's life doesn't consist of the things which he possesses."

Because, ultimately... The best things in life... AREN'T "things"!

First Place Goes to....

ME!!!!! I am awarding myself this blue ribbon for being the WORST BLOGGER EVER!!!!!

I'm sorry folks, things have been crazy busy for me the past few weeks. I am balancing work, school, voulenteering, family, friends, etc. I have been reading most of your blogs, but I haven't been posting or commenting. Honestly, I don't have very much to say that would interest you. My life is pretty predictable these days. My weekends are spent doing all the things I neglected to do during the week or catching up on my much needed rest.

I have surpassed the 20 week mark finally. In celebration of the 20th week, I bought something for the baby (a cute camo jacket, cargo pants, onsie, camo socks) and a card for K telling him he was half way to meeting his son. (This was a huge hit for him since he is an avid hunter. For any of you close to 20 weeks I'd recommend doing this for your daddy-to-be. You could tell K was really touched by the gesture.)

I am also beginning to really look pregnant. My friends, family, and co-workers are spoiling me rotten! The further along I get, the more random presents show up on my desk or at my house. My son has a sweet tooth, so people buy me candy often. I've also gotten a flag, picture frame, and teddy bear stating "It's a Boy!" I am so humbled by the genorisity I have received, and it's heartwarming to know my son will be loved by so many people.

That's about it for me. While you are here though, please go send these people some love:

Janna is in love!!!!
Go wish Casey luck! She is having an IUI tomorrow.
Give Courtney some encouragement. She's waiting to test again.
Hug Jill who had a snow-baby transfer a few days ago.
Alison is having a boy incase you haven't heard!
Mel is having a girl!

Thankful Thursday....

I am thankful that we have made it another day with our "son." (I'm still getting use to the idea.) I am thankful that my health has remained great during this pregnancy and that I now feel movement from baby K quite often, which reassures me all is well.

I am thankful that school hasn't been too overwhelming so far. I am thankful that I didn't wait until the last minute to start my field service time (40 hrs in a public school by mid November) and that I already have completed about 11 hrs.

I am thankful for the student I am mentoring. He's a class clown and a bit immature for his age, but he makes me smile. He's been very receptive towards me so far, and that makes me feel as if I am in the right profession.

I am thankful that Saturday, our nephew will be 13!!! We only see him in the summer time because he lives in MT, but we love and miss him very much!

I am thankful that other people have stopped to find things to be thankful for today--you know who you are :) I am thankful for the cyber friends I have made and the prayers they have lifted for me. I am thankful that I can pray for them too knowing we serve the same Higher Power.

I am thankful that Autumn begins on Monday--yipee!

I am thankful I still have 97 shopping days until Christmas!

What are you thankful for?

It's a.....

Thankful Thursday: Remembering 9/11/2001

Today is the national day of mourning. I hope we all pause and remember those who senselessly lost there lives 7 years ago today. I can still remember exactly where I was when I found out that the twin towers had been hit. I remember thinking that the beginning of WWIII was eminent.

I am thankful for our military men and women who sacrifice their lives to keep my country safe. Thank you for giving up your time with your families, for watching your children grow up by pictues while you are serving our country.

I am thankful to be an American.

I am thankful that nothing of this magnitude has happened following 9/11 on United States soil.

I am thankful for the outpouring of love we felt from other countries when this tragedy occurred.

I am thankful for everyone who stops and remembers those left behind seven years ago today.

Lest we Never Forget....

I am thankful that today is my husband's 32 bday. I don't deserve your love for me, but I am thankful for it each and every day of my life.
******************
We find out the sex of the baby on Monday! It's going to be a long weekend!

Guess the Gender of Baby K

I added a poll to the right to vote for the gender of Baby K. If you are interested in playing along, please cast your vote.

Nothing new and exciting is going on pregnancy wise. I feel great. My next doctor's appointment is Sept 9 for a check up. I am hoping to talk Dr. R into taking a peak at the baby to see the gender, but I'm not sure he will. The office policy is usually 20 weeks, and at this appointment I will only be 17 weeks. He has been known to tell patients sooner, so I am hoping that I can be one of these few. We should know by Sept 30 if we should be picking out pink or blue.

School is going really well so far. I've been trying to get organized so I don't feel so overwhelmed. I have a school lined up to begin my 40 hour field service. I have also contacted a former teacher I had growing up, so I can interview her. I am usually the typical procrastinator, but I seem to have it all together right now (which I am hoping will carry over into my teaching career).

K and I have a slow upcoming weekend. He is getting excited about hunting season--I am excited to catch up on my soaps. We may venture out tonight to my former high school's football game. What are you doing this weekend?